A rant.....

sweetsheep84

Hello all, I really want to get this off my chest as it is winding me up...

OH has this long distance slightly elderly relative who we used to live very close by until we moved last year. Before we moved, we asked her to come see our new place. She said yes but never turned up to come with us on the day of our move. She drives (but not confident to drive on motorway) and we were willing to pay for her petrol so she knows where we live and happy for her to come for a visit. But again, never heard a word from her.

She called me few months back asking me to book a flight for her. Of course I did and that was it. Never heard from her again.

Yesterday I got a call from her. She has her granddaughter over for a visit from overseas and due to fly back tomorrow morning at half 6. So she asked if my OH could pick them up, take them to airport, then OH goes to work. OH couldn't do it coz no way he will stay awake for work that day. So she then asked me if I could do it. I said no coz my car has restricted mileage (new driver etc). She then suggested that they come to ours, stay the night, and leave ours at half 2 to get to the airport for half 4. And of course she will drive us back.

Still, I refused coz I am not waking up my DS at 2 in the morning so he can fall asleep in school?

I was polite to her on the phone but I was really worked up at the end of it. She doesn't normally call, never offers to babysit or even just a day out with us. Then when she calls, she is always after something. I normally agree to help her coz her children are in oz and I don't mind helping out. But this has really got to me especially when it involves my child waking up in the middle of the night to go to airport for someone who doesn't give a monkeys about his well being.

OH agreed with me but he will not say a word to anybody as he likes to play Mr Nice. So I just have to get this off my chest. And hoping by doing this I should be cooled down a bit more before I go for school run. Some people....... Arghh.....

mummyroysof3

I can see why you are annoyed but you have said no so I would just forget about it now.

adindas

sweetsheep84


You and your OH are too nice. You will need to learn "how to say no nicely". Try it next time she ask for help and state the reason why you can not do that. If it was difficult for you to say no think about when other people decline your request for help. You and other people will understand if you have a good reason for it.

If you can not say no, people will keep using you for their own advantage.

**professor~yaffle**

sweetsheep84 wrote: »

She called me few months back asking me to book a flight for her. Of course I did and that was it. Never heard from her again.

Yesterday I got a call from her. She has her granddaughter over for a visit from overseas and due to fly back tomorrow morning at half 6. So she asked if my OH could pick them up, take them to airport, then OH goes to work. OH couldn't do it coz no way he will stay awake for work that day. So she then asked me if I could do it. I said no coz my car has restricted mileage (new driver etc). She then suggested that they come to ours, stay the night, and leave ours at half 2 to get to the airport for half 4. And of course she will drive us back.

Why on earth couldn't she have said something before? You can't just phone someone up the day before and demand that they take you somewhere at some unGodly hour of the morning the very next day!

sweetsheep84

mummyroysof3 wrote: »

I can see why you are annoyed but you have said no so I would just forget about it now.

Trying to at the mo. but before she hung up last night she said oh I will ring you back if I can't find anybody else. :mad:

sweetsheep84

adindas wrote: »

sweetsheep84


You and your OH are too nice. You will need to learn "how to say no nicely". Try it next time she ask for help and state the reason why you can not do that. If it was difficult for you to say no think about when other people decline your request for help. You and other people will understand if you have a good reason for it.

If you can not say no, people will keep using you for their own advantage.

Thanks. I did have to say no to her in a very nice way as I have to put my child first. I am unsure if she understands but I have nothing to feel bad about.

sweetsheep84

**professor~yaffle** wrote: »

Why on earth couldn't she have said something before? You can't just phone someone up the day before and demand that they take you somewhere at some unGodly hour of the morning the very next day!

Even if she did say something 2 weeks before, I still wouldn't have done it coz it is just not the right time for my 5 year old DS to get up for. The thing is she can drive herself but not confident enough to drive on motorway.

paulineb_2

If shes not comfortable driving long distances Im not surprised that she didnt come with you to see your new place

This really is a situation where your OH should be doing the speaking, its his relative.

Also speaking as someone who lost an elderly relative not so long ago all I can say is when they are gone, the trivial stuff gets forgotten.

sweetsheep84

paulineb wrote: »

If shes not comfortable driving long distances Im not surprised that she didnt come with you to see your new place

This really is a situation where your OH should be doing the speaking, its his relative.

Also speaking as someone who lost an elderly relative not so long ago all I can say is when they are gone, the trivial stuff gets forgotten.

She can drive long distance if someone else sits there with her. Plus I have accompanied her plenty of times to different airports. She could follow OH as he had a van and I was happy to sit with her to drive to our new place and go back to her place.

She does not call my OH. She calls me only. She will only ever call OH if I am not available.

I am not unwilling to help. I have sat there at her place for 2 days with my then 3 year old DS typing her essay after essay for her. So really, I have been nice and do try help out when I can but I refuse to be used and treated like this

LisaLou1982

Sounds like she is trying to take advantage. I also have people around me in life that try this when i start to be too nice and i have to put my foot down.

I think if she does it again, advise her that her family can get a taxi as you are not willing to wake your son up at 2am when he has school the next day.

duchy

So when did you last go to visit HER ?
She hasn't visited you (and is nervous of driving alone) but you haven't gone to see her either it seems, Six of one half a dozen of the other maybe ?