Good Luck to Everyone

The_Hurricane

Hi All,

It seems a lot on here are going through a tough time, I just wanted to wish everyone well as they tackle their issues and there is a great group of people here helping out.

Remember as unfortunate as it may sound the majority of relationships today are a disaster setup for the wrong reason and the people within them are playing out a miserable existence - live your life for you.

ilovelondontown

The_Hurricane wrote: »

Hi All,

It seems a lot on here are going through a tough time, I just wanted to wish everyone well as they tackle their issues and there is a great group of people here helping out.

Remember as unfortunate as it may sound the majority of relationships today are a disaster setup for the wrong reason and the people within them are playing out a miserable existence - live your life for you.

While I think it's lovely to give a cheerleading support to those facing tough times, which happens to us all, I couldn't help disagreeing wiht your statement that the "majority of relationship today are a disaster"...

I know a lot of very happy people in all manners of different relationships (myself included).

Negative posts/news/situations are more frequently mentioned because people seek support and advice through their trying times. It's seldom good news that is posted because people don't post to say "I'm happy! help!" "I've married the person of my dreams! What do I do!?"

They just go out there and live it.

The_Hurricane

ilovelondontown wrote: »

While I think it's lovely to give a cheerleading support to those facing tough times, which happens to us all, I couldn't help disagreeing wiht your statement that the "majority of relationship today are a disaster"...

I know a lot of very happy people in all manners of different relationships (myself included).

Negative posts/news/situations are more frequently mentioned because people seek support and advice through their trying times. It's seldom good news that is posted because people don't post to say "I'm happy! help!" "I've married the person of my dreams! What do I do!?"

They just go out there and live it.

I've been weighing that up and I'm no longer sure.

Even looking at my own friends, one of my best friends who now lives in Australia and met a great girl whom he has been with for five years and proposed to her on Christmas day. On Boxing night he was out partying with his tongue down other girl's throats.

I even took a snapshot of relationships at work, people together for fear of being alone, some completely subservient, some together as they felt their chances of children were slipping away etc etc.

There are good relationships of course but I think it's under the 50% mark, I used to think it was 99%.

System

It takes more than luck to build a successful relationship. It takes commitment, a certain amount of compromise, being open and honest with each other as well as sometimes putting the other persons feelings before your own.

Problems arise when a relationship is unbalanced and one sided. No amount of luck in the world will fix that.

January20

The_Hurricane wrote: »

I've been weighing that up and I'm no longer sure.

Even looking at my own friends, one of my best friends who now lives in Australia and met a great girl whom he has been with for five years and proposed to her on Christmas day. On Boxing night he was out partying with his tongue down other girl's throats.

I even took a snapshot of relationships at work, people together for fear of being alone, some completely subservient, some together as they felt their chances of children were slipping away etc etc.

There are good relationships of course but I think it's under the 50% mark, I used to think it was 99%.

I agree with you that a lot of people stay together for the reasons you mention, not because they are in a loving and fulfilling relationship, and for me too they are the wrong reasons.

However, I do not think that in the past 99% of relationships were good. I think it was scandalous to get divorced or even to admit to relationship problems. Women put up with a lot more than they do now because they lacked financial stability and because they didn't want their reputation tarnished.

So it wasn't better, it was hidden. Well, that's why I think anyway!

P.S.: Many of my friends moan about their relationships and openly envy my single life, especially my social life. I wonder though if it's just because they like a good moan. They are contented really but it makes them feel interesting to complain about their lot IYSWIM?

The_Hurricane

January20 wrote: »

I agree with you that a lot of people stay together for the reasons you mention, not because they are in a loving and fulfilling relationship, and for me too they are the wrong reasons.

However, I do not think that in the past 99% of relationships were good. I think it was scandalous to get divorced or even to admit to relationship problems. Women put up with a lot more than they do now because they lacked financial stability and because they didn't want their reputation tarnished.

So it wasn't better, it was hidden. Well, that's why I think anyway!

P.S.: Many of my friends moan about their relationships and openly envy my single life, especially my social life. I wonder though if it's just because they like a good moan. They are contented really but it makes them feel interesting to complain about their lot IYSWIM?

The 99% was my own personal misconception, e.g. I seen someone together and they looked happy but I never read between the lines.

The_Hurricane

There is another thread in full flow that perfectly sums up my views.

ilovelondontown

The_Hurricane wrote: »

I've been weighing that up and I'm no longer sure.

Even looking at my own friends, one of my best friends who now lives in Australia and met a great girl whom he has been with for five years and proposed to her on Christmas day. On Boxing night he was out partying with his tongue down other girl's throats.

I even took a snapshot of relationships at work, people together for fear of being alone, some completely subservient, some together as they felt their chances of children were slipping away etc etc.

There are good relationships of course but I think it's under the 50% mark, I used to think it was 99%.

Ever the optimist that I am, even I wouldn't go as far to say that 99% of relationships are good ones! Having said that, I think it's up to you how you want to look at what makes a relationship a good one or a disater.

I've had previous relationships that didn't work out but I don't consider the time I had in those relationships a disaster necessarily, just that they weren't right for me. I'm still grateful that I had them and even more so because they've lead me to where I am today.

I've seen relationships form that had "disaster" written all over them and they are still going strong 12/19 years later and I've seen what should have been the one for the long road fall a part at the first hurdle. Such is life.

In the past I've seen all relationships as tainted because I'd been cheated on and I couldn't believe anyone could be happy in a relationship, now I'm in a relationship where I am sickenly happy, I believe in that for others too....

Netwizard

The_Hurricane wrote: »

I've been weighing that up and I'm no longer sure.

Even looking at my own friends, one of my best friends who now lives in Australia and met a great girl whom he has been with for five years and proposed to her on Christmas day. On Boxing night he was out partying with his tongue down other girl's throats.

I even took a snapshot of relationships at work, people together for fear of being alone, some completely subservient, some together as they felt their chances of children were slipping away etc etc.

There are good relationships of course but I think it's under the 50% mark, I used to think it was 99%.

Likewise. I see more people together for convince today than anything else. Ive seen a hell of a lot of works colleagues relationships / marriage s go completely tits up

The_Hurricane

Is being single so terrible that people would prefer to stay in unhappy relationships?

Netwizard

The_Hurricane wrote: »

Is being single so terrible that people would prefer to stay in unhappy relationships?

I say no but ive always been single. Never had a GF. From what I see though, a lot of people prefer unhappy relationships to being single. I will never understand why:eek: