Is it possible to leave a message before you die?

A_Phoenix_of_Tangerine

bossymoo wrote: »

My will is with the solicitor and I have a copy with my own papers (otherwise how would anyone know which solicitor?). I also keep with it a piece of paper detailing any accounts / investments and my pension details. I also have a letter for each of my children. I will replace these as time goes on.

My reason for this is my husband had an untimely death, and by the time we knew it was terminal, he was too ill to even speak, let alone write. So our children (both under 3 at the time and won't really remember him) only have me to tell them he loved them. As their one surviving parent I'm acutely aware of this (and probably overcompensate) hence the letters with as much personal anecdotes as I can remember and a reminder of their wonderful characters should they ever doubt themselves.

Whether I will continue these letters when they are adults (and I've already imparted these stories) is yet to be decided.

Keep them all! When you finally do die (may it be a long way yet), your children will know how loved they are, and how thoughtful and caring their mother was. I would find a discovery of such letters very warming indeed, when dealing with grief.

dzug1

Miss_Bolan wrote: »

I am not sure a will is the place where you leave a 'message' as such, I'm not even sure when the will gets read to everyone!

You are right there - a will is not the place. And it never (outside Agatha Christie novels and the like) gets read to everyone. Most people would never get even to see a copy

Plenty of good ideas elsewhere in this thread

suvla_2

potential epic business idea ..... just saying

keystone

Depends how quick you are.

Sorry - far too flippant.

Cheers

bongonaut

The Good Funeral Guide and The Natural Death Centre are both excellent sources of information about advance planning. There is an online charity called RecordMeNow which seems to be offering exactly the recording service you are looking for.

Savvy_Sue

kingfisherblue wrote: »

My ex wanted to leave a letter each for me and our three children a few years ago - we were still married at the time, and he was going to have surgery. He gave me the letters and made me promise not to read them if he survived. they were only to be opened on his death. Fortunately he survived.

Please don't all laugh, but before I had the brain surgery, I went to Build-A-Bear and made a bear on which I recorded a message for DH and the boys. I expect the battery has run down now and it sounds awful, but I wanted to do SOMETHING and couldn't face writing an actual letter ...

Slinky

My uncle left the most beautiful letter to his children & grandchildren which was read out at his funeral. He was the most organised of men.

bylromarha

To avoid the DVD, how about setting up a Youtube account and putting the website in the will?

It'd be rare that someone stumbled across it and you could review the link yourself periodically.

StuC75

But if you're telling them that every day, then for your recorded message to be the 'last time' then the video would need to be regularly re-done? kind of defeats the intention.

Do you do many family recordings?

Would it be better to build a collection of family events & activities together rather than a frankly 'creepy' message from the grave. That way could keep a very short \ general introduction where you may be talking, with more on the times spent together? Maybe with photos too..

Make it more a scrapbook \ memento that gets built up over time.. That way could be a yearly thing.

Miss_Bolan wrote: »

I do tell them, I tell them every day that I love them and what they mean to me. But when 'the end' comes there is now way to say it one last time.

Seeing what those left behind are going through right now after the tragic events of the weekend is hard to see. It doesn't mean they didn't know that they were loved by the person who has gone, it just means they didn't get chance to say it the last time, there was no goodbye.

cats2012

My uncle recorded a message that was played at his funeral. I cried my eyes out but it was beautiful!