This is quite hard for me to post... so please be gentle.

Toto

I've just realised how much my daughter is struggling with the same issue. I hadn't thought much of it recently, she's through that horrible part of her life now and in a good place. But, she went to a live tv show and there she was, in a crowd full of people in summer dresses (it was 30 degrees) wearing a jumper. I knew exactly why and felt really sad for her.

I went out and got her some dermablend from boots, it's working well, you have to gently blend it rather than rub it in, but it seems to cover really well and has been lasting all day. This past week she's been out wearing sleeveless dresses, she even went shopping and got herself some pretty summery clothes.

I agree with the others, don't get a tattoo unless it's something you love and want. Don't do it because of the attitude of others. Just remember that few of us get through life without scars, some you can see, others are deep inside. Be proud of how far you've come.

Kaz2904

I haven't read all of the responses but would just like to reassure you. I have patients who have self harmed recently. The most recent was a couple of days ago. I have been so close that I've been putting on a blood pressure cuff and not noticed the scarring until I have had to sit and poke around at their arms for taking blood or cannulating them.
DD injured herself two years ago and sliced her left wrist open. It was very hot and she sweated the glue off the laceration so it scarred worse than if she had had stitches. She is also right handed so I was worried it would look like a self harming scar.
Having noticed these scars so recently on my patient, I am far less concerned but do expect her to have it noticed every now and then when she's older.
To be honest, human beings don't take a huge amount of notice of each other, they tend to notice eyes and facial features, then general appearance.
Hope this helps xx.

Torry_Quine

I do remember being in a shop one time and noticing what looked like scars from self-harming on the arm of the assistant. I thought it was really good that she had managed to move on and get employed and I so wanted to say well-done but didn't.

any_name_will_suffice

SunshineButterfly wrote: »

Any name I am the same when it comes to blood pressure checks, blood tests. I always try to ensure I offer my non-scarred arm.

It seems a little easier now I have met a decent bloke who has no issues with my scars and tells me how beautiful I am.
But I do still struggle. I have a wedding to go to next weekend and have a lovely black dress, yet I am considering hiding the lovely detail with a cardigan and boiling to death to ensure no one sees my scars.

I bought a light pashmina, which I draped myself in as soon as they finished the formal photos, you could maybe find a light grey or even silver one?

Not, I should add because you should feel you have to cover up, but if it makes you feel more comfortable x

FBaby

My fitness instructor who is also a nurse has these self harm scars. My first thought when I saw them was that she clearly struggled mentally in life before and has managed to turn her life around and felt inspired by her.

Always remember that whatever others think or tell you, it is a reflection on who THEY are, not you.

SunshineButterfly

Thanks everyone. I think I'll have a potter to Boots this morning to see what skin camouflage products they sell. It has taken me years to go from joggers and hoodies.. To currently wearing 3/4 leggings, nice tops, sandals. That in itself was a struggle as I'm a big worrier of how others view me. My scars make it much harder.
But I'm starting to realise I am as attractive as everyone else and that everyone has imperfections.
I'm actually quite proud of the tattoo I already have, I just need that little bit more in confidence to to openly proud and confident.

I'd love to show you all my tattoo and arm (may sound weird but to put it out there for all to see would help me accept them more) but I have no idea how to attach pictures on here? Maybe I can put it as my profile picture temporarily.

SunshineButterfly

Eeek no going back now lol

bagpussbear

Your post isn't silly at all.

I would first speak to the doctors and see if there is anything cosmetically/surgically they could do in the first instance.

I would be hesitant over the tattoo thing as a) more people would be drawn to look at your arms, b) you would need a great big arm sleeve which you may regret as that's not something for everyone and c) if there are raised scars, the tattoo might look odd anyway. I'm just supposing though.

Definitely speak to the doc and see if there is anything they can do first.

Good luck OP.

harrys_nan

Wear your scars with pride, they show you have been somewhere and have come out the other side, be proud and ignore people that cant keep their mouths shut when they should.You come over as a very lovely person and I love your tattoo on your wrist.
You will always come across ignorant people and they are not worth any of your time even thinking of them.

jellyhead

The person who was looking at your scars on the bus might have scars of her own and was just curious ... sometimes people stare without realising that you'll notice, if that makes sense?

I've got some scars, and although you can tell the difference between a burn from the iron and self-harm it's more difficult to tell between a burn from working in a kitchen - it's a larger, longer burn mark. I think saying you were a baker could work, if you're talking to random nurses etc. who are being unnecessarily judgemental. My scars are from working at Mcdonalds - I'm very clumsy and often burned my arms when getting baskets of chips out of the fryer.

I only have one self harm scar and now that it's 25 years old you can't see it unless I get a good tan, and I'm unlikely to tan on the underside of my arms because they don't see much sun. So unless you particularly want tattoos I think your scars will fade more over the next decade.

It's easy to say, but I think I'd be inclined to write to the manager of anyone who called me silly or stupid for what is obviously an old scar, and not something I have control over nowadays. What on earth do they hope to achieve? You'v already stopped harming as there are no new scars so it's not as if they think they are trying to help you in any way. It's just horrible, and perhaps a letter of complaint might make them rethink their bedside manner.