friends sticky divorce problems

RAS

Sorry

I appreciate that she has a dose of nesting instinct but she needs to get real.

Personally, I suggest that the man write to the ex and tells her that he wants her to take responsibility for selling the house within the next 6 months. She can take any equity that she achieves on a sale in that time but after that point he and the new partner will have to move in unless the ex takes over the mortgage.

He needs to refuse a consent order unless the house is sold and cleared.

And the GF needs to get it into her head that she has to let this take its time; I am going to guess that the ex has already worked out that he is under pressure from the new GF and is using that to her advantage. If the GF pushes him, in the end he will probably resent her and it gets their relationship off the a bad start.

neverdespairgirl

Brewstersmum wrote: »

She doesn't want to move into the house he shared with an ex....understandable lol

She just wants to get it all sorted before baby comes as it's weighing on her mind and the divorce is taking forever to get anywhere

Friend has decided to have a baby with a man who is still married to someone else, and has complicated issues around a house that might or might not have equity in it.

Friend has chosen this position, so can't expect everyone else to jump to it and sort it all out for her ASAP - particularly the wife!

Brewstersmum

Thanks for the helpful advice people.

I must say, there is no need for some of the nasty comments regarding my friend, she simply asked for advice and I can actually see exactly why she didn't want to post herself!!!

Life happens and people do end up in relationships with people who are technically still married. That's not the issue she asked for advice on, It took another friend of mine 5 years to get divorced eventually, should she have not had any relations with other people until she received the absolute?

My friend has done nothing to receive such negative posts

justme111

You did not just ask for an advice. You repeated time and time again how worried she was and how she wanted it sorted So replies were pointing out that she should have expected it to be this way in given circumstances, she done something not exactly right (which she knows herself , otherwise she would not be afraid to ask herself). Not sure why you class those as nasty and negative , by the way describing posts as nasty and negative is rude iny opinion.

duchy

Brewstersmum wrote: »

Thanks for the helpful advice people.

I must say, there is no need for some of the nasty comments regarding my friend, she simply asked for advice and I can actually see exactly why she didn't want to post herself!!!

Life happens and people do end up in relationships with people who are technically still married. That's not the issue she asked for advice on, It took another friend of mine 5 years to get divorced eventually, should she have not had any relations with other people until she received the absolute?

My friend has done nothing to receive such negative posts

They do (although how wise that is could be debated !)- but to choose to have a baby with a man still legally and financially tied to his wife is something entirely different.

No-one forced "your friend" to get involved with a still married man and no-one forced her to get pregnant - For you ...I mean her... now to be complaining than things aren't moving fast enough is a bit rich. She is an adult who went into this situation with her eyes wide open surely. As for negativity- your "friend" (are you sure it's not you ) your "friend" is living on cloud nine if she honesty thinks people aren't going to think she jumped in a bit too fast with a pregnancy with a man still tied financially and owning a house with another woman. What you read here is what a lot of people will think of her even if they don't say it to her face. Odds are people will assume she was also responsible for the split (whether she was involved or not) with her been pregnant before the house is even sold.