friends sticky divorce problems

lostinrates

Brewstersmum wrote: »

No I agree she is entitled to a share of things but I'm a firm believer that you take what is yours.
When I left my ex I left with what I put in. I left him so why would i want his stuff? Maybe it's just me that thinks like that....,,,

Like I say my friends more worried about the outcome as she is in limbo at the moment

If you believe you ' take what is yours when you leave' then why do you believe your friend should expect to gain more than is hers on arrival?

It cuts both ways


However, I hope it all goes smoothly, and that the birth and everything goes well.

neneromanova

I would get him to get some estate agents round to value the house and go from there. If she's not happy with just his estate agents, let her send round some of her own. That way she will see that there is barely any money in the house.

I think as well that If you can prove she hasn't paid anything to the house since she left, she'll have less of a case for demanding more money from it.

zzzLazyDaisy

Brewstersmum wrote: »

shes in a real pickle now as she obviously needs to know whether her partner will have to sell up to pay his ex off or whether he will keep the property..

Why is your friend worried about whether her partner will have to sell the property? They are not living in the house, which is currently empty and so likely to deteriorate over time. He is paying the mortgage, and no doubt utility bills. Under the terms of the mortgage he must continue to insure it, but he will find it more and more difficult to get insurance at anything like a reasonable cost, the longer the house stands empty. It seems to me that the best thing all round would be to sell the house so your friend and her partner can get on with their lives. Or am I missing something?

jellie

So if your friend wants to move into the house, he can get 3 estate agents to value the property in its current condition (ex can choose them if she wishes). This will then settle that argument as at the moment, it's all supposition as to how much it's worth.

They can then use these valuations as the basis for their divorce settlement.

Alternatively as said, he can sell up and they will then know how much (if any) equity there was.

Either way, they will know exactly where they stand financially and both sides can move on.

clearingout

Brewstersmum wrote: »

They got married 8 years ago and they both worked.
He bought the house 10 years ago I believe. She did take lots of stuff from inside the house and a car with her

My friend is more worried about the impact the pregnancy may have, if any, as financially he will have to provide for the baby, will this be taken into consideration?

No. It is considered appropriate that you end one thing before starting another. That he now has extra responsibilities is not the concern of his wife, nor the legal system and I would go as far to say that he won't do himself any favours in court if he pulls out the 'but I have a baby on the way' card.

CH27

Brewstersmum wrote: »

They got married 8 years ago and they both worked.
He bought the house 10 years ago I believe. She did take lots of stuff from inside the house and a car with her

My friend is more worried about the impact the pregnancy may have, if any, as financially he will have to provide for the baby, will this be taken into consideration?

He was always going to have to provide for his existing children & should have taken that into account before starting another family.

Brewstersmum

CH27 wrote: »

He was always going to have to provide for his existing children & should have taken that into account before starting another family.

Like I mentioned he has no children from his previous relationship

Brewstersmum

lostinrates wrote: »

If you believe you ' take what is yours when you leave' then why do you believe your friend should expect to gain more than is hers on arrival?

It cuts both ways


However, I hope it all goes smoothly, and that the birth and everything goes well.

The guy now lives with my friend....she has had nothing from the marriage except the stress of the divorce and paperwork

brownhandbag

Hi Brewstersmum,

I actually had the same situation with my own divorce and this was the case around 12 years ago.
The financial settlement if any is a separate legal issue to the divorce itself. It is possible to get the divorce without ever sorting the finances legally, some people do but this is not advisable.
The ex-wife will only be entitled to a share of any profit made on the house in the time-scale they were married. This is not necessarily half! It is up to her to prove she has contributed to the running costs and show a papertrail/evidence of this. Examples are rent paid to husband, utility bills etc. If she cannot do this then she will not get anything back.

It is an urban myth that she will automatically get half and down to her to prove she is entitled to anything (this is as the house is in his name only and has nothing to do with them being married or not)

I would advise continuing with a solicitor (I paid £1500 fees approx). If the financial agreement is not put in place then she could come back with a claim at anytime in the future unless she remarries. Remarrying negates any future claim.
He should keep paying the mortgage, and put the house up for sale clearing most or all or the debts for a clean start with his new partner.

Just remember she has to prove she has contributed to any equity gain in the time they were married. This would be the same for him if she owned the house and he was trying to claim anything.

Hope this helps and good luck to him!

hawk30

brownhandbag wrote: »

Hi Brewstersmum,

I actually had the same situation with my own divorce and this was the case around 12 years ago.
The financial settlement if any is a separate legal issue to the divorce itself. It is possible to get the divorce without ever sorting the finances legally, some people do but this is not advisable.
The ex-wife will only be entitled to a share of any profit made on the house in the time-scale they were married. This is not necessarily half! It is up to her to prove she has contributed to the running costs and show a papertrail/evidence of this. Examples are rent paid to husband, utility bills etc. If she cannot do this then she will not get anything back.

It is an urban myth that she will automatically get half and down to her to prove she is entitled to anything (this is as the house is in his name only and has nothing to do with them being married or not)

I would advise continuing with a solicitor (I paid £1500 fees approx). If the financial agreement is not put in place then she could come back with a claim at anytime in the future unless she remarries. Remarrying negates any future claim.
He should keep paying the mortgage, and put the house up for sale clearing most or all or the debts for a clean start with his new partner.

Just remember she has to prove she has contributed to any equity gain in the time they were married. This would be the same for him if she owned the house and he was trying to claim anything.

Hope this helps and good luck to him!

It is not a myth. You got divorced 12 years ago - the law does not stand still! Obviously, it depends on the circumstances of the divorce, but it is the starting point when couples have been married a fairly long time.