my babys routine is out the window how do I get it back??????

poppyscorner

Hi All

I have an 11week old baby boy my husband and I were invited to a wedding party on friday just gone and we reluctantly left him with my hubbys mum where he stayed overnight.

He has slept through the night for a few weeks prior to this stay and we were very grateful for her looking after him but he woke through the night and usually we would have wrapped him back in his blanket he would have gone of to sleep she decided to give him a bottle and since then he is waking and expecting a bottle at the same time (4.30am) should we continue what we are doing or give in and give him a feed at this time.

When he was born he had his body clock all mixed up and slept all day and was awake all night it took ages to turn this around and he would have two bottles through the night this reduced to one and eventually didnt want any.

We are just a bit gutted as it took ages to build his routine and it seems to have disappeared in one night any advice appreciated thanks

Violet_Isle

Just go with the flow and let baby wake and sleep when he wants to. He is at that age now when sometimes a bottle alone won't always feed him. Are you breast feeding? if not you could speak to your health visitor about making the last feed of the day a heavier milk - I don;t know what brand you use but I breastfeed but then gave an SMA white as last feed of the day and mine were all very good at sleeping through

Rachie_B

as he obviously doesnt "need" the milk ( as he was going without it before this!) i think you just need to be tough and not give him milk when he wakes @ 4.30am

try water in his bottle instead and he may decide its not worth waking up for !

it should only take a few nights for him to "unlearn" this new bad habit !

[Deleted User]

oh dear. Mum was doing what she thought best and got it wrong. I am going to be a granny in a few weeks and will expect to have good chats with my daughter about what they expect me to do or not to do. It has to be a two way thing.

Anyway that doesn`t solve your problem now. I would go with the flow and just give a little water when baby wakes up, gradually reducing and soon doing without. You`ll get there op

kmeast

It may be that your little one is waking up for a reason, and not necessarily because their routine was broken. They tend to be hungrier when going through a growth spurt and it may be this that is causing them to wake, because they are hungry.

I would check with your health visitor for advice, just in case.

p.s. Mine is now 10 months and has only started to sleep right through in the last week!:rotfl:

poppyscorner

thanks for the replies he is bottlefed cow and gate and moved to the hungry milk when he was 3 weeks old.

DS 1 was exactly the same and had started weaning by 10 weeks old with h.v approval as he was so hugry but obviously that was 4 yrs ago and advice has now changed to no weaning till 6 months as opposed to 16wks back then.
He also slept through early on from 8wks.

Had thought about the water idea as opposed to doing nothing as I am now.

Nicki

I find it very hard to believe that one feed in the night once is enough to create a whole new pattern, and would also consider if I were you whether he may be going through a growth spurt, especially if he is a generally hungry baby.

I would also try, if you can, to bear in mind that he is not doing this deliberately and that he is only 11 weeks old. The reason he is crying is because he is genuinely hungry (whether this has been caused by your mother or not) and this is the only way he can let you know of this. Have you ever woken in the night feeling hungry or thirsty or in need of the loo, and unable to get back to sleep until you have satisfied that need? Imagine how it must feel to be unable to satisfy it for yourself, and have the one person who can do so refuse to do it.

I've got two of my own, so its not that I don't sympathise with how rotten it is to have to get up to feed, but it won't last forever. I would try to find work around solutions, which make life easier for you but also meet baby's needs - eg a bottle offered just before you go to bed to hopefully avoid the need for your sleep to be disturbed, gradually fased out by offering it earlier and earlier each night; keeping a bottle of boiled water and some powder in the bedroom so you don't have to go downstairs to make up a bottle when baby wakes, and offering it cold not warmed as a slight disincentive to waking then; feed, wind, then straight back down in the cot with no playing or engagement; and sharing the burden of all this with your OH.

Curious_George_2

cant add anything these wise ladies havent already said except this...

get used to the grandmothers messing up your best laid plans,
my daughter gets away with murder at my mums "im her nanny...and thats what nannys do" apparently is enough of an excuse for my mother to override every rule ive spent DDs whole life sticking too...

ive had a no nonsense bedtime routine in place since DD was tiny, she has slept through the night since about a month old and has never given me any real problems... bedtime is bedtime, no negotiations (if that sounds harsh... please bear in mind she is 7 now!)
but she still doesnt sleep all night at either of her nans, she wont go to bed at the normal time (because they let her) she gets in bed with both of them and disturbs them all night (because they let her) and wakes up at a ridiculous hour and expects to be entertained (because they let her)
do you see the pattern? lol
i dont have any of these problems with her! but if they had been around when she was still a baby im pretty sure i wouldnt have got as much sleep as ive had!

bonnie_2

I never had a routine, when mine were little, as it can cause problems if things change. Your best to feed and change on demand and let them sleep on demand. I still do this now actually and they are really well behaved, everybody comments on how good they are. Sometimes if your too strict on routine it can be worse and you will be tied to it forever.His very little so if he wants a bottle let him have it, it won't be doing him any harm, just remember it's not for ever and catch up on your sleep at other times.
Also if you keep them close to you, they don't wake up so much as it is often
you that they want, i had all mine in bed with me and they are now 15, 11 and 8.

rio

I am pretty sure that boys have a growth spurt around the 10 week mark, so that is most probably the cause of the sudden waking for a bottle at 4.30am. At his age you will know that really there is no thing as a set routine, you will get into a routine that lasts a few weeks and then his behaviour will change as he starts staying awake for longer periods and having shorter daytime naps, or has another growth spurt and what worked previously will have to be adjusted. When mine started to wake up hungry again at nightime I delayed bedtime and fed him later before putting him down to sleep. I then found that once he was settled at night again I could bring bedtime forward say by five minutes a day without any ill effect, so by the end of the week he would be going to bed about 35 minutes earlier and still sleeping through. Its sometimes a case of slowly, slowly with babies . Interesting that you said that your first LO was weaned early. I remember getting to the stage where mine was having hourly feeds, alternating between breast and bottle, and I was begging the HV to let me start weaning.

Best of luck

liney

11 weeks in very young to be sleeping through all the time. If you are set on having a routine (as i was) can i suggest you increase feeds to 3 hourly if you havent already. Baby probably just needs more milk in the day.

Also, a dream feed where you dont wake the baby, but give them a top up before you go to bed might help - baby has strong sucking reflexs and stroking the mouth with a teat will mean s/he automatically sucks even when sleeping.