What a mess, help please?

Ames

I think it might be worth contacting women's aid. You're being abused, at the very least financially and from what you say mentally as well.

Your health should come first.

rosiesq

Thanks Ames, yes, I guess I am. I suddenly developed high blood pressure, but have none of the trigger factors other than stress. Constantly having to ask, beg for money just to eat totally stresses me out, not a pleasant situation. Booked an appointment to see Citizens Advice, and he wouldn't put fuel in the car so that I could go. I could go on, for example, my doctor thought that 'Art on Prescription' may do me good, it's an free arty group, you get recommended by your gp, but it's as much for socialisation as anything. But he wouldn't give me money for the car park, so I couldn't go to that either. It's really wearing me down, I used to be such a positive person, but now I'm really down and seriously depressed. I guess I really need to do something to change things. Thanks again to you all for your help.

princessdon

Do you share a car also? It's things like that they look at when deciding if single or not. Who is the car registered to?

rosiesq

We do share a car, when I'm allowed to use it, although it's registered, taxed and insured in my name.

mummyroysof3

You really need to get the benefits sorted so you get your own money. You should not be having to Ask for money to eat

Ames

I agree that the benefits need sorting, but if Rosie would be in danger from doing that then I think Women's Aid still needs to be one of her first ports of call. Someone who makes their partner beg for food isn't going to be happy at having his income halved.

RAS

I think Women's Aid is essential here.

The OP is subject to financial abuse as well as emotional/psychological abuse.

OP - you will get your portion of the house regardless of whether you live there or not. Sounds like the car may be yours and that need wresting from his mitts as well.

NeverEnough

This is one of those frustrating situations where the OP really needs to make the first move to get out of the tyrannical abuse - Womans Aid is a good idea, even raising the issues with your GP - they could contact social services or other assistance on your behalf while you are actually in the surgery.

If the car is registered, taxed and insured in the OPs name then why does the husband have control of it? You could phone the insurance company and take his name off the insurance and insist the car is returned to you as the rightful owner. Husband can then buy his own.

OP, please take some control over the situation - you are being horribly abused and need to make a move to stop it. Get your car back, get to the benefits agency and make a claim in your own right with the money paid into YOUR bank account. He can claim his own! If he threatens you or becomes violent when you want your car back, call the police.

Please do something to get yourself out of the abusive situation!

rosiesq

Hi, and thank you for all your replies. I agree with most of what you've all said, but need to make one thing clear. Although he's a nightmare, and everything that I've said is true, and not overstated, the car, although in my name, is a 'family' car. The issue of not being allowed to use it arises because I'm not given money to put fuel in it. I've made an appointment today for a CAB phone call, to discuss my issues. The first appointment is not until 8th August, but at least I shall know how to go about changing things. Thanks again.