Splitting the bills!

purpleharp

I've calculated the bills amount and it totals to about half of the mortgage payment. It doesn't feel fair to me that he would only pay the bills although if he also paid for food that would be a bit more equal.

Hmmm.... your comments have all been really interesting so far, thank you

Hooloovoo

purpleharp wrote: »

It doesn't feel fair to me that he would only pay the bills although if he also paid for food that would be a bit more equal.

Surely your budget for "the bills" also includes an estimate for food shopping?

Hooloovoo

As an aside ... this is the easy dilemma.

The difficult job comes when you decide to purchase a house together and you have £200k of equity to contribute and he hasn't got a pot to pee in.

I've no clue how to handle that without a pre-nup of some kind.

purpleharp

No, my bills estimate doesn't include food as it's not a fixed amount that I could show exactly. Good point though, although I don't know how much I spend on food as buy day to day what we need.

Hooloovoo

purpleharp wrote: »

No, my bills estimate doesn't include food as it's not a fixed amount that I could show exactly. Good point though, although I don't know how much I spend on food as buy day to day what we need.

It's a tricky one. This is where a joint account comes in handy because you can both just pay your monthly deposits into the account, and then draw from it as and when - for example day to day food. That way you both pay your share without having to actually work out who pays what.

However I, like many others, have a phobia of joint accounts. They are just asking for trouble. Not to mention issues with merged credit history etc.

So what I did was just open a second current account and treat it as a joint account. The money in it is "ours" even though it's only in my name.

Neither of us worry about the other doing a runner with the money. Me, because it's only in my name :rotfl: and my partner because as a month-by-month account there's only a couple of hundred quid in it at any one time anyway.

matttye

Hooloovoo wrote: »

But it doesn't make any sense.

In fact I would say it's the worst possible option.

Neither are visibly paying their "share" of anything and should a split occur it's going to be very difficult to prove who paid what.

I don't see why it's "fair" at all. So the OP pays the mortgage and at the end of 20 years gets a house. The partner pays all the bills and at the end of 20 years gets what? Nothing.

"Sorry love, thanks for paying all my bills for the last 20 years but now you can pack your bags, see ya."

Is it fair that the OP should pay the mortgage as well as half the bills and the partner pays nothing at all for the property? OP doesn't seem to want to charge the partner rent or contribute towards the mortgage.

It might be the worst possible option for you but won't necessarily be for them. Just offering another option for them to mull over It's their decision, not mine or yours.

Hooloovoo

matttye wrote: »

Is it fair that the OP should pay the mortgage as well as half the bills and the partner pays nothing at all for the property? OP doesn't seem to want to charge the partner rent or contribute towards the mortgage.

I do believe this is the point of discussion.

To me, "paying all the bills rather than paying rent" is a nonsense statement. It works out to be the same thing. It's just rent by another name.

I would say yes it is fair that they don't contribute to the mortgage, given the partner is, presumably, not expecting to obtain a share in ownership of the property.

For example in my case, the house is mine therefore the mortgage is mine to pay. My partner doesn't contribute towards the mortgage, because they are not purchasing a share in the house.

I could charge them rent as a lodger, yes, but that does seem a bit mean given they're my partner not a flatmate.

In my actual case it's even more complicated because I've paid off my mortgage. There is no mortgage for them to contribute towards. We both pay our share of the monthly bills and that's it. It would feel a bit ridiculous for me to try to charge rent to a partner!

It's their decision, not mine or yours.

Agreed, as I've said above.

zzzLazyDaisy

purpleharp wrote: »

Thanks both for your suggestions. We had an open conversation about finances the other day where we talked about earnings, savings, debts etc and were trying to come up with a way we both felt comfortable splitting the bills.

From what you've said, I'm thinking of proposing a combination of the two?
We split mutual bills 50/50 e.g. council tax, electricity, internet etc....
He pays nothing towards the mortgage but puts aside his half into a savings account that we can then use towards our next house move or large financial purchase.

Does that make sense?

You are right to avoid any connection between your OH and your mortgage - and this does not just include direct contributions to the mortgage, but also any payments that ease the burden on you paying your mortgage - such as 'rent'. These sort of payments potentially lead the way to him being able to claim a beneficial interest in the property. When/if the time comes for him to share ownership of your property, that needs to be a conscious and informed decision, not something that happens almost accidentally, by the 'back door'.

All other bills can be shared, and as you say, he can put any money that he might otherwise have paid on rent into a savings account for such time as you decide to buy a joint property together (or go back-packing round the world!)

Good luck and have fun.

Dx

thriftylass

We were in a similar situation after we moved together in his house after 18 months. I just took the risk (he wasn't thinking that way). He was rubbish with money (but immensely committed to the relationship) I was a saver. However, we were sure we'd buy together someday etc (well as sure you can be of a relationship), especially after he always let me know his house is my house but I pointed out, well not really. We worked out a share of the bills etc according to income. So I paid a bill (to have prove of my address) and the groceries and gave him an extra amount which was towards bills and mortgage but not officially being rent. I was very aware though that I'm paying his mortgage without benefiting at the time.

However, fast forward 7 years. we now bought a house together. We agreed because I paid towards the mortgage (sort of) he would use all of his equity (30 grand) as a deposit but we own 50/50. And I used my savings (6 grand) to pay extra fees and to furnish it etc.

So it all depends how much you trust that relationship.

P.S. we still don't have a joint account. We hopefully get married next year and I don't think I ever will. Don't see the need the way we worked things out. He now still pays the joint mortgage but I pay childcare and groceries etc.

matttye

Hooloovoo wrote: »

I do believe this is the point of discussion.

To me, "paying all the bills rather than paying rent" is a nonsense statement. It works out to be the same thing. It's just rent by another name.

I would say yes it is fair that they don't contribute to the mortgage, given the partner is, presumably, not expecting to obtain a share in ownership of the property.

For example in my case, the house is mine therefore the mortgage is mine to pay. My partner doesn't contribute towards the mortgage, because they are not purchasing a share in the house.

I could charge them rent as a lodger, yes, but that does seem a bit mean given they're my partner not a flatmate.

In my actual case it's even more complicated because I've paid off my mortgage. There is no mortgage for them to contribute towards. We both pay our share of the monthly bills and that's it. It would feel a bit ridiculous for me to try to charge rent to a partner!

Agreed, as I've said above.

Even though they're not getting a share in the house, it is still there for them to reside in, and they should contribute in some form or another.

Your situation is different as you clearly don't have a mortgage to pay. Even though it's your house, it would be reasonable to expect your partner to contribute towards any repairs.

With a mortgage to pay, I don't think asking them to pay rent is such a bad idea.

Paying other bills can be 'rent by a different name' if you like but it certainly simplifies matters.