Splitting the bills!

purpleharp

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for some advice for my boyfriend and I with regards to splitting bills.

We’ve been together about 18 months and he’s just moved in with me. Until this year he was working abroad but since our relationship has developed he’s decided to come back to the UK happily for me! He is currently looking for a new job and I’m not expected him to pay anything towards bills until he has a steady income. He is very aware of this though and generally pays for groceries etc when we’re out.
I own my flat so the issue really is that any money he pays towards it will be essentially paying off my mortgage but not benefitting from co owning the property.

Also, should the worst happen and we split up he will either feel hard done by as I’ve benefited from his payments, or I will potentially feel the need to reimburse him. I am sure there are a few other scenarios that could come up there but it’s a potentially sticky situation.
We’re so happy together and are taking this relationship very seriously and just want to get this right so that there is no resentment on either side.

So some advice please would be most appreciated!

christineperseus

He'd have been paying rent anyway.............

purpleharp

Yes that's true but the underlying issue is that I ultimately benefit from what he pays towards the mortgage.
Also, if we term it as him paying me 'rent' then we put ourselves in the position of landlord/lodger which again makes things awkward!

Hooloovoo

purpleharp wrote: »

Yes that's true but the underlying issue is that I ultimately benefit from what he pays towards the mortgage.
Also, if we term it as him paying me 'rent' then we put ourselves in the position of landlord/lodger which again makes things awkward!

What I personally do is take money for their share of the bills, but let them live essentially "rent free". As you say, that's the only way to do it without things getting rather awkward.

This way if you split up, you haven't "taken advantage" by reducing your mortgage. And if things get more serious and you decide to get a place together, he will have more money to contribute to a deposit having not paid rent for the last couple of years.

This is assuming of course that he takes it seriously and puts away what he would have been paying in rent into a savings account. If he takes advantage of your generosity by allowing his "disposable income" to increase, then you'll need to have words with him.

innovate

Hooloovoo wrote: »

This way if you split up, you haven't "taken advantage" by reducing your mortgage.

But you can (and I do) say that he took advantage by having his partner pay 100% of the accommodation! Nothing fair about that, either.

They both have monthly living costs, and I would split them 50:50 between the parties. But I might get legal advice beforehand, and probably draw up an agreement, to avoid any nasty surprises if it ever comes to a break-up. If the relationship is strong, it should easily survive a frank and open discussion about finances. If the relationship suffers as a result of such a discussion, it's probably not really what either of the two were looking for.

purpleharp

Thanks both for your suggestions. We had an open conversation about finances the other day where we talked about earnings, savings, debts etc and were trying to come up with a way we both felt comfortable splitting the bills.

From what you've said, I'm thinking of proposing a combination of the two?
We split mutual bills 50/50 e.g. council tax, electricity, internet etc....
He pays nothing towards the mortgage but puts aside his half into a savings account that we can then use towards our next house move or large financial purchase.

Does that make sense?

matttye

Couldnt he just pay other bills like gas, electric, council tax, water rates, internet etc. instead of 'rent' ?

Hooloovoo

innovate wrote: »

But you can (and I do) say that he took advantage by having his partner pay 100% of the accommodation! Nothing fair about that, either.

That's true, I know. There's no real "right" answer.

For me it's a question of balancing the amount of hassle.

If they contribute to the mortgage then should a split come you've got to give them some money back (or they could owe you money if the property value fell!) and it could all get nasty.

Even if they pay rent as a lodger, if the breakup is really nasty they could try to make a claim against a share of the house unless you went to the trouble of entering into a watertight lodger agreement.

For me, if they demonstrably pay only their share of the bills, then there can be no claim on anything and there is nothing to sort out. Anything for an easy life.

Yes, maybe they "get away" with living rent free for the time we were together, but I offset that against the reduced hassle in the event of a breakup. But in any case I've still benefited by having to pay only half the monthly bills whilst we were together.

And if everything goes to plan and we don't split up, then they've got more money to put towards a joint purchase, and all the "fairness" balances out in the end.

Hooloovoo

matttye wrote: »

Couldnt he just pay other bills like gas, electric, council tax, water rates, internet etc. instead of 'rent' ?

But that would mean the OP wouldn't be paying their share of the bills. Why is that fair?

matttye

Hooloovoo wrote: »

But that would the OP wouldn't be paying their share of the bills. Why is that fair?

Because they're paying the mortgage.

Splitting the monetary total 50/50 rather than the amount of bills they each pay would make more sense.

Hooloovoo

matttye wrote: »

Because they're paying the mortgage.

Splitting the monetary total 50/50 rather than the amount of bills they each pay would make more sense.

But it doesn't make any sense.

In fact I would say it's the worst possible option.

Neither are visibly paying their "share" of anything and should a split occur it's going to be very difficult to prove who paid what.

I don't see why it's "fair" at all. So the OP pays the mortgage and at the end of 20 years gets a house. The partner pays all the bills and at the end of 20 years gets what? Nothing.

"Sorry love, thanks for paying all my bills for the last 20 years but now you can pack your bags, see ya."