Would you get married on a Monday?

LallyPops

Thanks everyone for your replies. I think you've all highlighted the points that we have been deliberating over - people having to take two days off rather than one, people leaving the party early but also the fact that it people want to be part of the day, then they will make sure they are.

What I forgot to mention in my original post is that the deal also includes 15 rooms free of charge. So, once you take out us and immediate family, there are 11 rooms we can offer people to stay with no charge - which hopefully softens things somewhat. We're looking at inviting around 70 for the day which means we can't offer everyone accommodation, but at least it goes someway to evidencing the (potential) reason for our choice.

I just need to determine if I can get over the prospects of people leaving early if they can't get time off the next day. I really want people to have a good time but £3.5ks worth of fun is a lot!

I am going to be ringing as many people today as I can to get their thoughts and will ask them to be honest as I genuinely want to know if it will prove too problematic. I know some of the older members of our party and those with young children will leave early regardless of the day. I am also wondering if I'd notice come 10pm if many left, given I'm more than likely to be exhausted by that point and heading to bed myself!


We will look to sort out the 'Save the Dates' asap and it will give people about 14 months notice. That should be enough notice, shouldn't it?

Once again guys, thanks so much. It really helps reading everyone's point of view. I genuinely want a day that everyone enjoys but also don't want to go crazy on the spending. Some of the fees we've seen are eyewatering!

Georgiegirl256 - congrats on getting married last week! I hope you are enjoying married life! x

Pinzy

14 months notice really should be enough! Mind you, some people can't book time off work until their "holiday year" opens. Good point about people with kids leaving earlier whatever day.

Would be worth having a chat with all the people that you absolutely would want to be there, i.e. wouldn't want to have the day without them, and check they could all make it - could help with the decision.
(We were going to get married in May, then found out my dad was away for most of May and a bit of June, so shifted the wedding to July.)

Georgiegirl256

LallyPops wrote: »

Thanks everyone for your replies. I think you've all highlighted the points that we have been deliberating over - people having to take two days off rather than one, people leaving the party early but also the fact that it people want to be part of the day, then they will make sure they are.

What I forgot to mention in my original post is that the deal also includes 15 rooms free of charge. So, once you take out us and immediate family, there are 11 rooms we can offer people to stay with no charge - which hopefully softens things somewhat. We're looking at inviting around 70 for the day which means we can't offer everyone accommodation, but at least it goes someway to evidencing the (potential) reason for our choice.

I just need to determine if I can get over the prospects of people leaving early if they can't get time off the next day. I really want people to have a good time but £3.5ks worth of fun is a lot!

I am going to be ringing as many people today as I can to get their thoughts and will ask them to be honest as I genuinely want to know if it will prove too problematic. I know some of the older members of our party and those with young children will leave early regardless of the day. I am also wondering if I'd notice come 10pm if many left, given I'm more than likely to be exhausted by that point and heading to bed myself!


We will look to sort out the 'Save the Dates' asap and it will give people about 14 months notice. That should be enough notice, shouldn't it?

Once again guys, thanks so much. It really helps reading everyone's point of view. I genuinely want a day that everyone enjoys but also don't want to go crazy on the spending. Some of the fees we've seen are eyewatering!

Georgiegirl256 - congrats on getting married last week! I hope you are enjoying married life! x

Thanks Lallypops!

If you're getting all that free accommodation on top, then IMO it's abit of a no brainer! Especially since as you say, the older ones and those with kids would probably leave earlier anyhow. Also, if you're anything like me, and can't sleep the night before, then by 10pm the next day you more than likely WILL be ready for calling it a day! :rotfl: We were all knackered!

RainbowDrops

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

You say about people resenting you, well my views on that are, if they do tough, they're obviously not worth caring about. Any guest worth their salt, who cared anything about you would want to be there whatever day it was, if they couldn't make it then fair enough, but if THEY had the cheek to be funny with you, then I'd just be glad they weren't coming....it's your big day just remember that!

I think that's a little unfair.
For some people it's a big ask to get them to take one, if not two days (for those travelling) off work.
I would always do my best to get to a wedding of a close friend, but weekdays are going to tricky.
At the end of the day, the decision is that of those organising the wedding, but I think you need to consider your guests too.
It's all about balance.

Georgiegirl256

RainbowDrops wrote: »

I think that's a little unfair.
For some people it's a big ask to get them to take one, if not two days (for those travelling) off work.
I would always do my best to get to a wedding of a close friend, but weekdays are going to tricky.
At the end of the day, the decision is that of those organising the wedding, but I think you need to consider your guests too.
It's all about balance.

I know it's a big ask for some people and I totally understand that, life happens, and you can't always make it to every party, every wedding etc, but if you'd read it properly, I actually said that "If THEY had the cheek to be funny with you", then that is not on, weddings are stressful enough to organise without having to worry about every single guest.... You accommodate best you can, but it's always going to be unsuitable for some person, that doesn't give them the right to be resentful towards you.

Besides, you could organise it to take place on a Saturday, and people still might not be able to come for various reasons.

walkerbev

I'd say do it there is more than enough time for people to make arrangements, and saving a heap of money is something to consider.

katie1812

Nothing wrong with a Monday! Just check tho that the 1st isn't a teacher training day or something, as we have to do two before we go back to work...

JoolzS

When did "Save the date" start happening? I guess I'm getting old because this seems to be yet another stupid thing added for weddings. If someone sent me a "Save the date" for something that was more than a year away I think my only reply would be "Send me an invite for the actual thing".

RainbowDrops

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I actually said that "If THEY had the cheek to be funny with you", then that is not on, weddings are stressful enough to organise without having to worry about every single guest....

Sorry for getting the wrong end of the stick.
Yeah, it would be unfair if guests complained to the couple about a weekday wedding, but it is understandable that some people might be sad if they were unable to attend.

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Besides, you could organise it to take place on a Saturday, and people still might not be able to come for various reasons.

True, but on the whole weekends tend to be easier....

burnoutbabe

I have had a few years where 4-5 friends got married over the season.

All weekends so could travel up friday nights, back Sunday (if long distance). If they were all week days, thats 10 days off for weddings, out of 20 days holiday.

So you'd have to decide "do i like them enough to lose 2 more days holiday" - And then "you went to xyz's wedding but not mine" - well they asked earlier in the year.

So yes, people will say no for their own reasons. So its easier/cheaper for the bride/groom but not for most guests. Weekend travel is also cheaper than week day trains and hotels.

I'd not complain to a bride/groom, but I'd have a huge issue if they moaned about me not attending it.