My Brothers ex has taken the children to northern ireland without warning

someonepleasehelpme

Cut a long story short my brothers ex has taken their children to northern ireland and he is in complete dispair.

My brother did everything for her and the kids, he provided and roof over their heads and they wanted for nothing.

She came over from NI with nothing when she met my brother.

Admittedly, they have had a few rows recently but she is really immature (you wouldnt beleive she was 29 - more like 19)

He really wants to have contact with the children but she is making it really difficult for him - not telling him where she's going to be living (shes at her mothers at the moment, but has managed to get a house from the council or something)

I know its going to sound like I've really got it in for her but my family, myself included, knew that he could do better. Whilst with my brother she tried it on with two of my cousins. We told my brother of this, but he was having none of it. She also hits the children and I don't just mean a little slap. I have seen this for myself. Someone has already written to Social Services about her but they said they couldnt find any cause for concern, though we do all know different. The children are 5 and 3.

My brother is over in NI at the moment (staying in a B & . He's not allowed to see the children on his own as it turns out that she's told her mum she's frightened of him!!!! It's complete and utter tosh. The only woman he has ever hit is me (even that was when we were kids in one of our daily fights).

She has just hurt so many people in our family, she has never really had any contact with her own family since being over here - she said the reason she came over was to get away from them. She has other relatives over here who don't want to know her :rolleyes:

Ultimately, I know my brother would love the kids back over here (he is definatley the better parent) - but I know the chances of him getting custody are slim. Does anyone know what his rights are? I've suggested that he goes to CAB as soon as he gets back.

alwaysonthego_2

was your brother married to his ex? Or did he register the childrens birth. He may not have automatic parental rights and it needs to be confirmed whether he has. He may have to go to court to be able to be granted these rights. Tell him to visit the cab and they should be able to help further

hazelbunny

If the children are 5 and 3 and your brothers names is on their birth certificate,
he will have automatic parental rights.

Violet_Isle

If they are his paternal children is this not classed as abduction?

hobo28

Violet_Isle wrote:

If they are his paternal children is this not classed as abduction?

No since the person they are with is their mother. In the absence of a court order, this becomes a civil dispute. If there was one then technically yes since NI is still part of UK, the courts/police could help. If it was outside UK then the Geneva convention would apply.


Unfortunately, your brother is in a really sticky situation here. Had he have known before the situation, he may have been able to apply for a Prohibited Steps Order. Even then he may not have got it.

The guiding principles the courts use when making decisions is what is in the best interests of the children AND to maintain the status quo. Given she's up sticks and left, the courts may decide that its not in the best interests of the children to uproot them again and move them back.

He has a right to contact and if he doesn't have it already, to gain parental responsibility. In short a say in their lives. He does need proper legal advice from a real solicitor though.

Violet_Isle

You sound like you know a lot about this hobo

I would say speak to a solicitor as well asap. If she's in ireland now and refusing access who knows where she'll disappear to

alwaysonthego_2

hazelbunny wrote: »

If the children are 5 and 3 and your brothers names is on their birth certificate,
he will have automatic parental rights.

I have a feeling that even if his name is on the birth certificate does not mean necesarrally that he will have automatic parental rights, unless he was the one who registered their births personally or is married to the mother

benbenandme

depends when the 3 yr olds birthday is as to whether he automatically has pr ... I think the rules changed in dec 2003. My ds was born in July 2003 and his father doesn't have pr as we weren't married even though he registered the birth with me. I asked him to apply for it after we split incase anything happened to ds when he was with him o he ould sign a consent form if I wans't there, but he hasn't bothered to do it :rolleyes:

Fran

Parental Responsibility is described well on the Families Need Fathers website. It could be worth paying to join up and get help from FNF.

someonepleasehelpme

Thanks for all the replies.

He wasn't married to her. He was present when the children were registered but I think he only has automatic parental responsibility over the three year old as he was registered after December 2003 when the rules were changed (someone please correct me if I'm wrong).

He really doesn't know what to do and we are all concerned about the safety of the children - sometimes her smacking does go a bit too far (leaves marks).

Its a hard situation for me to be in because it is no secret that she isn't my favourite person but we did all (my family) tollerate her and were never horrible to her.

I just hate feeling so helpless - I guess all I can do is give him all the help he needs. I'm just so angry that she used us all this way. :mad:

Thanks once again for listening

hollydays

How many times has she smacked them and left marks-and how do you know this?