Dispute over house with Ex-Partner

mfactor

I will try to keep this simple


My partner and I split 30 months ago and after a rocky start we now get on fairly well.

I thought it best that I move out of the family home (3 bed semi), as we had a 3 year old daughter and I wanted her to have a stable as possible home life, it was agreed that she would pay the mortgage as my new rent was the same amount and our wages were on a par, we also came to a amicable arrangement over maintenance.

She now wants to sell the house as she does not want such a large place or the £130000 mortgage round her neck with a monthly payment of £540 with which she is struggling, the sale would just pay off the mortgage and fees, leaving nothing left over.


I fully understand this, however the average rental in this area is £500-550 for a two bed flat and I have told her than her expectations of being better off each week are not going to happen, and why pay someone else's mortgage for them by renting

However I finally agreed that as she does not wish to live there, I would offer to move back in and take over the mortgage.

I also offered to money to pay for a deposit and first months rent.

I also have no problem with her being on the mortgage, as I see the house as a nest egg for my daughter.

But she wants her name off the mortgage, so we contacted northern rock our mortgage provider, who said no as I failed the affordability test, but were quite helpful and said keep applying because as my wage goes up at some point I will pass, tho not for several years I expect.

But we are at an impasse as she insists she does not want her name on the mortgage.

We are still amicable but she went to a solicitor in the week and I received what I consider a threatening letter, which quite upset me.
I rang my ex and she was surprised at the content of the letter but is quite naive where solicitors are concerned (bottom feeders IMO) :mad:

The only actual sticking point is my ex is afraid that if I don't pay the mortgage , she will be chased for the money.
I pointed out that in 30 years I have never missed a rent/mortgage payment.

Further to this I have also stated that I am willing to sign an agreement , so that I would have to sell the property if I ever miss a payment

To me it is as simple as this,,, she wants to rent but is paying a mortgage
and I hate to rent and would prefer a mortgage.

Is there anyone we could go to to arbitrate this ????????

BitterAndTwisted

If she is adamant that she doesn't want to continue to be liable for the mortgage she could apply to the court to force a sale. This would cost her a whole heap of money to achieve, and as there's no equity in the property at present it's not even that she wants to unlock what money she has tied up in it.

Roll forward ten years and she could be entitled to 50% the equity, so I daresay she might be persuaded to sit tight.

Someone who claims to be struggling to pay £540 a month for the mortgage is unlikely to be the sort of person who could afford to bring proceedings to court to force a sale.

grifferz

Your idea of a signed agreement that if you do not meet the mortgage bills a sale can be forced is a good idea.

This is a common clause in a deed of trust / co-ownership agreement so a solicitor should be familiar with it, and they should be able to reassure her that it will offer her a quick way to get the house on the market without her having to apply to court to force a sale.

In my view if she is not willing to explore that then she is too far set against the idea for an agreement to be reached, as I doubt there is anything else short of taking on the mortgage yourself that would satisfy her.

Of course, you do not have to agree to the sale that she wants. She would have to try to force it and this would be costly as others have noted. But it wouldn't be a pretty dispute to be in and maybe you want to spare your family that.

mrginge

I don't see why you don't just sell it.
It benefits you both in that the financial association is removed, she can go rent if she wants, you can look at buying (within your affordability) if you want.

By not selling you are keeping that link and reducing both your options. The old nest egg comment is a bit of a false argument imo.

Its fine saying that you've never missed a payment in the past but that is irrelevant, the fact is that if you did, then she would be still be liable. Similarly, any agreement you have to sell if you missed a payment makes no difference - the lender will still chase her and her credit would be affected.

Perhaps you should consider what you would do if she just decided to stop paying the mortgage. Can you afford your rent and the mortgage? This might be unlikely, but while you are financially associated through this mortgage it is a valid risk.

Sell it, draw a line, move on.

Strapped

Is it likely that she has met someone else and wants to set up with them, not in the former family home?

Still don't understand why she wouldn't just let you move back in though (which you have every right to do, btw). It's a 3 bed house - would you take in lodgers?

Voyager2002

Do you have any well-paid relatives? If a parent (say) were able and willing to act as a guarantor, then her name could be removed from the mortgage.

Thrugelmir

Justifying your view in that the property is a nest egg for your daughter is a red herring. Better for the both of you if you sell up and move on.

I rang my ex and she was surprised at the content of the letter but is quite naive where solicitors are concerned (bottom feeders IMO)

Your ex's solicitor is merely following her instruction. If you force to matter to become legal then the heat will be turned up. The law is on her side. So eventually she will her way and you'll be the loser.

mfactor

Strapped wrote: »

Is it likely that she has met someone else and wants to set up with them, not in the former family home?

No she has not met somebody else we were still talking about trying again until recently as we are still genuinely fond of each other, but both feared we would end up in a warzone again

Strapped wrote: »

Still don't understand why she wouldn't just let you move back in though (which you have every right to do, btw). It's a 3 bed house - w ould you take in lodgers?

That was my plan if I found it difficult, the going rate around here is £80pw which would take a huge chunk out of the mortgage payments. (In fact 2 lodgers would pay the mortgage and then some)

And to the previous posters , in todays market I would not be able to get a mortgage for a shed let alone a house:D

I have told her that I am quite willing to leave her name on it and she would be welcome to any profit if it were sold at a later date, as I know the money would be used for our lass, she is a great mother but terrible at week to week finances.

Nestegg ?? Some have called that into question, the way I see it is if I pay my rent for 15 years I have nothing , If I pay a mortgage worst case is I make a large profit, I have bought and sold properties in the past and have always made money doing so, and the house in question has still increased in value £10,000 over the last 6 years, the middle of a housing slump , I figure that if my little one needs money for uni etc I can sell up, and use the money to fund that, to me that would be using the house for a purpose.

I told her earlier today that if she wished to sell I would not stand in her way, for the reasons mentioned by others, but strongly urged her to reconsider my offer.

mfactor

grifferz wrote: »

Your idea of a signed agreement that if you do not meet the mortgage bills a sale can be forced is a good idea.

This is a common clause in a deed of trust / co-ownership agreement so a solicitor should be familiar with it, and they should be able to reassure her that it will offer her a quick way to get the house on the market without her having to apply to court to force a sale.

In my view if she is not willing to explore that then she is too far set against the idea for an agreement to be reached, as I doubt there is anything else short of taking on the mortgage yourself that would satisfy her.

Of course, you do not have to agree to the sale that she wants. She would have to try to force it and this would be costly as others have noted. But it wouldn't be a pretty dispute to be in and maybe you want to spare your family that.

Cheers for the advice , I will not force her into anything because of my daughter, just very unhappy about the tone of the letter, basically it threatened me with all the costs if it went to court, and chastised me for not helping with the mortgage, but that was never on the table as neither of us could afford to move out and help the other, we stayed together longer than we should of because of this , in the end we both agreed that the hardship caused by us living apart was better than constant rows,we agreed it was best for me to move out so as not to upset my lass further.