The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

nuttyp

Wow all this talk of weddings reminds me of mine some 21 years ago!! My uncle had just bought a new bmw so he was the driver, my other uncle did the photos, as he was a photographer for the raf - all be it he took photos from airplanes of arial shots. My school friends mum had a second hand dress agency that's where my wedding dress and bridemaid dresses came from. Another family friend did the catering, and a work collegue made the cake.

My honeymoon was a sun holiday!! Monday to Friday in Scotland with an 18 month old baby in tow. It was such a good day, and the weather was luckily good for us.

My eldest doesn't seam interested in getting married, she did mention a chapel in cornwall that costs 6k to hire for 40 guests. Not something we can afford im afraid, and I wont be borrowing any money to do it either.

Going to pay car sale cash into the bank today, this is our entire savings. Holiday has had to be postponed, as OH has been told that his depot may be moving - so his job is far from secure. Time to start looking incase he does need to find a new job.

The first load of washing has been pegged out, I need to just give the house the once over. Tomorrow will be a day for proper cleaning.

elona

MrsL

I hope your dd has a wonderful day and she has done really well in her planning especially bridesmaid's dresses that could and probably will be worn again.:T

We had a registry office wedding with parents there as I lived in Glasgow, DH lived in Manchester and was moving to a new job and area a few days later. We decided we wanted to be together as a proper couple when the move and job started rather than DH going there and then me joining him. I splashed out a bit on the dress as it was a John Bates designer one but day length - £25 but should have been £100 and this was in 1982. It is still in the wardrobe and dds are fascinated by it.

None of my dds are contemplating weddings yet and want to get degrees, jobs etc and have time to grow into themselves as a person first. Youngest is only 19 and just started uni so we should have a couple of years before getting into wedding planning. DH jokingly suggests a holiday in Vegas for anyone of them considering marriage

Some of the insane razamataz was summed up by someone I worked with in the early eighties who was planning her engagement, then wedding, horse drawn carriage etc for wedding at 21 as "It was your Day wasn't it!" The concept of paying for it for years and the let down on getting back to real life afterwards had not occurred to her.

Is it just me that is surprised when I hear of people planning to "get engaged" on a certain day? To me you were engaged once you were asked the question, you then went together to choose the ring and perhaps had a rough idea of getting married in a year or so. Even in 82 some people were surprised we did not have a date already set although we explained dh was hoping to move job and area and we wanted to fit around that. Eventually got married about five months later, reg office on Thursday, honeymoon next day in Holland , return three days later and removal men and van next day to move over 100 miles away.

fuddle

kezlou wrote: »

Well been an eventful evening for me. Just came back from a & e, I've badly sprained my ankle, pulled muscles and may have chipped a bone in my foot. Have to go back to the trauma clinic on wednesday to get checked out.

Luckily ds 2 is there on the same day so no mucking about.
Took them both to play with friends before heading to the hospital.

Vj mum the festival, were hoping to go next year.

I love your weddings, thats how I want mine if oh and myself ever get married.

James Cook? I guess so as I didn't see you in North Tees as I was in A&E with DD. Hope you're ok, not nice places but I have to say I was mightily impressed with the care we received. A&E staff rock

I found a butter dish, plain white, in M0rrisons for £3. I'm happy with that. I did pick a little glass bowl up for 50p but it didn't have a lid so just got the butter dish and be done with it.

Again, over my weekly budget and quite worried how we can sustain buying all this meat, veg, fruit, nuts, seeds and eggs. It's so annoying that a diet that I'm so eager to provide for all my family is something of a concern when processed/additive fuelled/ready made 'junk' would save me £20 per week. Lots of learning of how to cook with the cheaper cuts of meat, multiple uses for the cheaper veg and the like needed.

I now have parsely for my herb container too.

Very tired, very concerned about a lot of things. DD is fine, she just needs to eat and have some further tests on a heart murmur. Her calorie intake is no where near where it should be and I'm sure that is stemming the health issues we hae with her at the moment.

Also got a snotty email from my childminding tutor for not attending the session last night, by gosh, she got a very snotty one back and I hope she's feeling very ashamed of herself. Life gets in the way of even the most 'important' things sometimes. People need to think before they insinuate. I certainly don't appreciate being judged as a lazy skiver... the tone suggests this is her thinking. :mad:

Right, cupboard to clean, fridge to clean, mountain otherwise known as an ironing pile.... oh, and my wedding? We eloped to a Scottish Island - ours cost a couple of hundred. I am not smug because I actually regret it. Where are my memories of a big happy day? I don't want to judge those who spend on their weddings and celebrate that they have the ability to have such a special day. Yes, to us some of it is madness but.... memories are sometimes worth it, no?

EstherH

Fifty years ago people didn't live together first. The wedding was a way of starting a new life together before God, family and friends. A statement that they were now their own little family committed to one another and the family and friends were there to bless and support. Then on to the beginning of a life of commitment and self sacrifice. In a marriage that lasts you learn to put your spouse first. Obviously not all marriages from that era did last but I think the ones that did had a better basis than the ones today which are built on a desire to emulate a celebrity wedding and a throw away society where problems mean throw it away and get a new one. Again, a generalisation and it is obvious from the problems that some people do have that not everyone is like that. Esther x

nuatha

kittiej wrote: »

Great wedding stories, I bet organising these were much less stressful than something that costs an arm and a leg. I think because there is such a big build up to these expensive weddings that once it's all over the 'happy couple' experience a slump and become a bit 'empty' as though they don't know what to do with themselves once they are actually married.

Sad really.

I think that the stress levels of organizing a wedding depends on the people doing the organising (and sometimes on raising the money to fund it). I've seen some expensive weddings where the families were very laid back - one of the big expenses being a wedding organiser to deal with all the stress.
Reading the wedding forum hereabouts, there's a few folk get hit with a post wedding slump, having spent a huge amount of time focused on the wedding, they suddenly find the event is over and they have all this extra time to fill and no major project to fill it - in some ways I envy them I seem to have more filling my time than I did before the wedding plus catching up on things that got shoved to one side while I was busy with wedding stuff.

MrsLurcherwalker wrote: »

Morning Toughies, all this wedding talk is interesting. My youngest DD is as you know tieing the knot at the end of August and has been very sensible about choices for the big day. It has still come in at £5,000 ish and that is mostly for the venue and food for the 80 guests and family. She has been very industrious and hand made all the invitations, has hand made all the place markers, we are growing all the flowers for both table decorations and the bouquets,her dress came from a wedding room at Oxfam, the bridesmaids dresses were found in a sale and are beautiful coctail dresses that will be wearable again in real life. She has included in that figure the Ceileidh Band for the evening, all the drinks, the photographer,the registrar the transport, a new suit for her OH, ties for the groom, her dad and the ushers, many things. The hen do will be a morning at a Spa for pampering and then a picnic out in the park so not much outlay there. I daresay she could have done things more cheaply but the sad truth is that things cost a lot of money these days and you sometines have to make sacrifices for the day you want, Cheers Lyn xxx.

Sounds like she's doing really well and has a wonderful day planned.
Probably our biggest saving was me catering, but it was a huge amount of work and not everyone is in a situation where they can do that.

There are several weddings that I remember particularly fondly, until the 80s I don't remember a wedding that went into the evening. One of the highlights of the day being the Bride and Groom's sending off, and then the celebrations petering out not long after. Even the first full evening do I remember had the couple being sent off (should have been at 8, happened at 9:30 so they ended up checking in at the airport in their wedding finery).

I fully agree with Possession (sorry multiquote messed up) that people should have the day they want and can afford (they being only the couple, no family pressures to have x y and z)

EstherH

A healthy diet with plenty of protein is expensive isn't it. We have lots of carbs because they are cheaper but I would prefer to add in more protein and less carbs but can't afford it and I am grateful for all I have learned on here so that we can eat healthily for less. Lots of veg, oats and lentils added to mince etc.

Maybe the email wasn't meant to be snotty FUDDLE it's hard to get the tone right when it's written instead of said in person but if it was, then she should be ashamed of herself. Hope your dd is ok.

KEZLOU: Hope you heal up quickly.

Right must get moving, lots to do.
God bless. Esther x



God bless all.

stiltwalker

Morning all -

Kez - ouch - hope you ok and heal soon.

Fuddle - hugs - I hope she's feeling guilty now she knows you were in A&E with DD not 'skiving'. Hope DD is ok soon.

All this talk of weddings! As some of you will remember DH and I got married last November and we had a wonderfully OS day, married in the registry office followed by a meal at our favourite restaurant for family and close friends and a ceilidh in the village hall in the evening. I made dresses for myself and DD and a matching tie for DS, and also made the pies for the evening do (pie and pea supper) and we asked friends to help out rather than get presents so some folk helped serve supper, local nipped out and put pies in their ovens as they wouldn't all fit in the village hall oven, DH's brother ordered a couple of firkins of beer from a local brewery and another couple of friends who are keen amateur photographers took the photos between them. Other friends brought wine or spirits for the evening do. Total cost came in at under £1500 including rings, clothes, band, restaurant, hall hire, ceremony and the lot. A truly memorable day which also meant none of our friends spent more than £20 a family at the most, so we didn't feel guilty asking them to splash cash that we knew some of them didn't have.

Right must get myself organised to got and pick DD up from nursery and then off to our parent support group this afternoon. Catch you all later - hugs X

mardatha

For me personally Fuddle, I don't regret eloping one bit. I could have waited and had a big fancy wedding but the thought filled me with terror - walking down an aisle in front of all those eyes, promising things in front of a priest I didn't respect or believe in... noway. I would have hated every minute. We only have one wedding photo, and the love in the RV's eyes shines out and says it all.
I've just come back from shopping and I too was moaning about the cost of this diet

kezlou

Aw your poor dd, hope shes feeling better. The staff in a & e are brilliant with the kids.

Thanks ask I'm feeling a little better still can't walk without being in agony.

Thats why I gave up the atkins diet it was costing us a fortune.

Oh took the children to school, I've been told to not do anything and watch films. Both boys are taking care of me, sweethearts. Ds1 is getting the bus home so he's sorted. Ds2 might be picked up by my dad if his van its fixed. If not I'm going to have to get him a taxi home from school. Its scary for both of us, I know the teacher will put him in the taxi just anxious about it all.

fuddle

Love and RV in the same sentence. See, I knew he was a darling really

Stilts I remember your photos, was such a happy occasion. Oh pie and peas. Now thats the way to go!

Ester I got an email apology. I am tempermental at the moment though, so I will have picked it up more negatively than intended I'm sure.

Kez, I share your anxiety for DS and no amount of words will make it go away but... he will be absolutely fine and it's only a little ride. Hang on to normality and don't let the feelings occupy your mind all day. Oh, vintage shops. Didn't reply to your text the other day. Looking forward to it so foot get better!

DOG RELATED YAKKY question coming up.

Alfie has been on meat/offal/rice diet for two months now. I make it myself and the cost is really quite reasonable (he likes liver!) But up until that point he was on high quality, very expensive dried food. We changed to HM for the cost issue and thought it be better for his health and I think it has. Every week on the dreied food Alf would let out a fishy smell from his bottom. A really disgusting smells that impregnated any fabric surface it touched. Revolting. But since on the HM diet he hasn't had this smell. I've inadvertently solved a problem and was wondering if anyone could shine a light on what the issue was so as I know what it is if it happens again.