The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

GreyQueen

(((((((ginny))))))) really sorry to hear that your lovely old cat met such an end. I bet the owner scarpered as well; having a dog dangerously out of control in public is a criminal offence, as he should very well have known. What I think of such people won't make it past the sweary filter, needless to say.

Princess87, we're here for you and we hear you; no need to apologise for being down when life gives you a kicking. We've all had and will have our ups and downs and sharing is good. We may be able to help with advice and even if we can't, we can share the woes as well as the good times.

Lots of exciting things been happening in the past 48 hours on the thread, so congrats to nuttyp on the holibobs and finger crossed to Mr Kidcat about the job.

I've been leading a quiet life gardening, visiting a friend, going to work and coming home again. I even did some ironing.

Gosh, it took forever; 2 shirts, a pillowslip and 4 hankies.

Right, need to tidy up a bit as have couple of days off and family incoming tomorrow. At this rate they'll be standing room only as there's a lot of stuff on the sofa; books and fruit and general carp. I tend to nest, you see.

Have a good evening, love GQ xx

Rowan9

Nutty- great news about your hol.
Quick in and out from me - a bit behind with reading posts but will try to catch up
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savingqueen

my turn to loose a post... start again...

yipeee nutty!!!!!!! great to have some happy news, its what keeps us all going on here.

kez - glad you found the vouchers!

pops - I had severe heel pain couple of years back, had spurs (bony growths) inside my heel and it affected my walking and geting about no end. Probably another excuse I can add to me being overweight. Had the dreaded injection and anti-inflams and took about a year to heal.... then the other heel did the same darn thing... and repeat. A friend recently had the same injection and said "never again" or ruder words to the same effect!

Feeling very down today, thought it was just a headache and backache but realised I also feel low. Got burger all done and felt guilty about it but have now accepted some days you just don't feel good and that's how it is.

Today not helped by me stumbling across some family facebook entries, my sister's wedding photos, her honeymoon, her shiny new car etc. I don't begrudge her happiness its just so sad I am not part of our wider family's lives for now at least. Also a bit of me angry - my dad defending her to the hilt about her financial woes and that's why they are helping her and her OH and yet our boys get postcards throughout the year from their holidays and weekends away and now a brand new car. They seem to have no idea how we manage.

I am feeling really isolated with my side of family together with our relationship with DH's side of family also in tatters. Deep breath SQ - I know I am very lucky to have DH and our boys and good friends on here and in RL but the family stuff is hurting like hell today.

Posh cat is demanding food and I'm on here moaning so off to fulfil my cat servant duties. I will snuggle up on the sofa later with the cats and have an early night I think. Sorry to moan on, it just helps to offload and you are such good listeners.

take care
sq:)

fuddle

The best advice I can give when managing on a tight budget is to have savings pots and to know exactly what your budget is so you don't overspend.

We have a pot for emergencies and one for car upkeep. I budget weekly for groceries and never go over. I have clothes budgets for the family so if someone needs something the funds are there. Anything we don't spend goes into the emergency fund... Or at the moment, the moving fund.

When budgets are tight I advise the use of cash for transactions. That way you know what you physically have left. Only our DD's come out of the bank account now, the rest is withdrawn for me to manage.

DH used to be the 'lunch box packed full of rubbish' kind of fella but now has a bun with tuna/sweet corn/mayo (not ready made but sourced individually - lasts 4 days, cheese and pickle on day 5) home popped popcorn sweetened with butter or honey. HM flapjack and plain yoghurt over fruit (tinned if we're brassic) sweetened with honey. A bottle of water and for breakfast oats soaked in a container of milk to be zapped as porridge when he gets to work. Dinners were costing £20 per week for him but now we hardly notice it.

Learning to live OS/frugally is so rewarding. Give it a chance, give yourself a chance, because its not only the way we stay above water but it allows me to get the lovely feelings of knowing I'm looking after my brood.

ArtDecoGirly

Wow, thank you for all the welcome messages! I've been over my boyfriend's for the weekend and Whitby on Friday, so been trying to catch up on everything since I was last on! I've read most of it (it took some time!). I LOVED reading all the bios! I love learning about people, always curious and love people-watching.
Also, sorry about all the bad news a few of you have been having! Hugs to you all.
Well, we're into week four of the school holidays so I need to get school shoes and trainers for my son. He just turned 14 a few days ago, and is the baby of the year, it's hard to believe they'll be turning 15 in a few weeks! He's almost a whole year younger than some. I'm having a struggle finding shoes this year. He has severe Dyspraxia and can't fasten shoelaces, which in itself is difficult enough. It's always hard finding velcro strap shoes that don't look like something my Dad would have worn! My other problem in the shoe department is...he's almost 6ft tall with size 10 feet! Two weeks to find something...wish me luck!

[Deleted User]

SQ I'm sorry for your pain and your sadness over family problems, it's not easy feeling isolated and alone when everyone else seems to be close and cosy. You are stronger than you think little one, you know how much harder it would be for you if you were still involved with the family circles on both sides, yours and OHs, you are sensibly maintaining your independence and keeping your distance for your familys good and peace of mind. That doesn't mean it's wrong when you feel sad that things are the way they are or wish life was different, that shows just what a sound little person you are, and very human. You'll be fine pet, this will pass and you'll catch your balance again and then you'll feel better and settled, hugs and more hugs in the meantime, we're all with you, you're not on your own when we're around, Love Lyn xxx.

savingqueen

thank you so much Lynn, you are so kind, wise and thoughtful. I am sitting here in tears, touched by your words.

I think its also having a family bereavement last week as well. No-one has bothered to let me know about the funeral, not that I would go and cause any further upset on such a day.

A close friend has recently lost her mum and I have been trying to support her too and trying not to cry in front of her - usually it would be fine but my friend is still in denial I think as she is behaving virtually as normal. I am so upset for her loss but don't want to get upset otherwise she will be the one comforting me. I dropped some bags of groceries around hers yesterday as she has just come back from her dad's. I said they were in lieu of a holiday present and she accepted them without question for once. She is the friend I wrote about just before my hols with their benefits being cut off without warning. I want to offer more support but my friend is not at the stage to accept it yet so I will wait in the wings, stay in regular contact and hope she will accept help as and when she needs it. There is a fine line between being helpful and being a nuisance and I don't want to cross it. On the other hand I know some bereaved people need their friends to take charge a bit eg. I said I would pick up her kids tomorrow to play at ours to give her and her OH some space and she was so breezy, saying she was fine taking them to some pre-booked activities.

Anyway I found a note in my jeans left over from hols and with some of DH's loose change, I have dispatched DH and boys to naughty junkfood world to get us a cheap takeaway - treat for boys and I really don't feel like cooking, ingredients for a cheese and bacon tart (first time I will be making a tart/quiche) will keep until tomorrow

sq:)

savingqueen

sorry forgot to say a big warm hello and welcome to ArtDecoGirly and any other newbies

My bio: I am 45, married for 10 years, together since 1999, two boys aged 9 and 6, 2 old boy cats, live in Essex though born and bred East London girl with some Geordie blood. Full time SAHM, part-time volunteer, do lots of free courses as well. Been mainly but not exclusively* OS a few years, lot of learning to do, love it. Greatest achievement has been learning to bake bread by hand - for someone who could barely boil an egg in her 30s and lived off microwave meals and prepared salads!

oooh takeaway arrived, yum yum*
sq

Nargleblast

PrincessX87 - the first step to sorting out your finances is to establish exactly what you have got coming in and going out. If you go on to the Debt Free Wannabe forum and start a new thread asking for advice, you will be able to post a Statement of Affairs and get loads of help from the really nice people on there, suggestions as to how to cut costs and maybe boost your income.

[Deleted User]

SQ sometimes tears give the healing that needs to be started, I'm sure reading your post that what you are feeling is also magnified by the loss of your family member and your friends mum, it is empathy and you can no more stop feeling it than you can stop breathing! Its a gift but sometimes very unsettling poppet. You are a good friend and she will inevitably have a reaction to losing her mum in the not too distant future and you will be able to help her when she needs comfort. I think a naughty supper is a very good thing to have on days like this, share it with your lovely oh and your beautiful boys and have a family time together and that is the first step back to feeling better and happier, bless you lovie, be happy again Love Lyn xxx