Making a will is giving me sleepless nights

in Over 50s MoneySaving
18 replies 3.6K views
I really need to make a will but I am struggling with how to do the right thing. My 2 eldest children are married to people who do not like me and my husband. I really can't bear the thought of them benefiting financially when our time comes. My sons wife is so tight she would split a currant in 2 (we get recycled gifts at bdays and xmas. ) they have 2 sons who have never bought us a present (they are both working). My daughters husband has had affairs and run them into debt countless times. I feel like giving their share to charity but I feel guilty but just can't bear the thought that I am denying my son/daughter their inheritance. Would appreciate advice.


  • LovelyjoolzLovelyjoolz Forumite
    1.1K Posts
    Do you mean that you don't want money to got your childrens' spouses in the event of their death? Or that you dpn't want the money to go to your children at all?
    You had me at your proper use of "you're".
  • LovelyjoolzLovelyjoolz Forumite
    1.1K Posts
    Sorry, ended post prematurely there!

    You can set it up so that your child's inheritance goes to their children in the event of their death and not to their spouse. If their children are under 18, the money would then go into a trust for them.

    If one of your children doesn't have their own children then their inheritance can revert back to your estate to be distributed to their sibling instead of their spouse.

    Someone I know has recently made a will out saying just this.
    You had me at your proper use of "you're".
  • ErrataErrata Forumite
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    Leave it all to your OH and let him worry about it when the time comes;)
    .................:)....I'm smiling because I have no idea what's going on ...:)
  • Leave it to your favourite charities with a clear conscience - at least they'll be grateful for it!
  • Savvy_SueSavvy_Sue Forumite
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    If you do decide to write your older children out of your will, it's usually a good idea to explain why. However, it could cause a lot of aggravation within the family.

    It sounds as if you don't want it to go to their children either. Fair enough, but again it could cause a lot of aggro.

    And the other thing is, you don't know what the future holds. Any of your children might 'see the light' and leave these people who you say don't like you - but it sounds as if the feeling is mutual. Or either of them might die before you. Unless you want to be changing your will every time something happens within the family, you need to consider those possibilities: it would be awful if one of your children didn't benefit because of an out of date reason.
    Signature removed for peace of mind
  • kazwookiekazwookie Forumite
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    Go out and spend it all on holidays and such like, then there won't be anything left so it won't be a problem.
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  • NARNAR Forumite
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    SWG go out and spend spend spend on yourselves and leave as little as possible. Mean tight miserable gits should be treated likewise - leave them as little as possible.
  • cheskychesky Forumite
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    This is where a good will solicitor can be so helpful. They can suggest options you hadn't even thought of - say like leaving a sum of money to your daughter if she is separated or divorced at the time of your death. (I don't know if this is actually an idea, just something to consider).

    Also, you mention your 'oldest' children - do you have others?
  • it's your money, leave it to who ever you want!
  • seven-day-weekendseven-day-weekend Forumite
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    The best advice would be to see a solicitor.
    (AKA HRH_MUngo)
    Member #10 of £2 savers club
    Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton
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