3rd Party View

bunny2548

Hi guys and gals

I need some possible advice/reassurance/a soundboard!

To me and my fiance Iain, we are not bothered about pleasing people we want to do this our way, he is happy to go with whatever I want (he's very laid back, where as I'm a lot more controlling) and to me the photos are the most important thing (after the marriage itself) because when all the cake is gone and the years past all you have is your photos and memories (I'm very forgetful so would have to rely on the photos!!)


So we decided to get married in a local hotel, with lovely grounds, we initially wanted a church or registry office weren't bothered about which as long as there is some place for nice photos and they were close but that's where the problem lies,
I live in a fairly small town with a few churches, but they are all ugly with no photo opportunities all on main roads with bland car parks (no registry offices) so we looked farther afield, a bigger town less than 10 miles away, now this town has a registry office but it is slap bang in the middle of a town centre, on a one way street with no parking and no opportunities for photos, the room is ugly also and obviously the first photo you want is walking down the aisle, it’s a council building not ideal for weddings.
So that is a no go for us, because the 2nd most important thing we want from our wedding day is nice photos and I wouldn't pay £900 for a photographer for a few photos in my local town centre it would be a waste of money!
So there is a hotel between us and that town which does weddings, which is perfect! So we went for the open day and a few weeks later put down the deposit for a package (no contract had been signed)

Now, the registrar charge is £308 (£150 already paid) without notice or certificates and the hotel hires out their room got £595 so we decided on a package for the whole day to be there getting married at 3pm , which includes:

1x civil ceremony @ £595
1x room hire @£600
50x 2 course meal @ £1250
50x drinks package (3 drinks per person) @ £627
60x evening buffet @ £810
1x disco @ £250


Total price £4132



Then we worked out the budget for the other things, these are (please remember these are top budget numbers so will be under):
Registrar £308
Venue dressing - £500
Rings £700
Dress £400
2 x Flower Girl Dress and accs £120
Groom suit and 2 usher suits (sons) £250
Bridal party presents - £100
Invitations confetti and favours - £70
Odds and sods - £200
Photographer - £900

This comes to a total of


£7660

After a few months of thinking about it we thought we would rather cut the budget down and have a nice honeymoon, so we asked to change it to just the ceremony there then back to my home town for a finger buffet and disco at the local rugby club (where my mum and dad had their reception)

This then changed the budget to £4,860 but the venue then said they would have to change the time of the ceremony to before 12 noon (so they could hold another wedding on the day) so we would have 6 hours to fill, the only way to do this would be to have a meal somewhere, which was the whole point of changing it to not having the meal and a late ceremony.
So it would cost the same having it in three different places as it would having it all one place. While we have been thinking about what to do the hotel came up with a new all inclusive package which is

40 x 3 drinks pp
40 x 3 course meal
Cake stand and knife
Photographer (the same people/ package as we were going to originally book)
Chair covers and sashes
Table centre pieces plus top table arrangement
Evening buffet for 80
Room hire for meal
Disco
Bridal suite

All for £4500

Add the
Registrar £308
Civil ceremony room hire £595
Rings £700
Dress £400
2 x Flower Girl Dress and accs £120
Groom suit and 2 usher suits (sons) £250
Bridal party presents - £100
Invitations confetti and favours - £70
Odds and sods - £200
Room night before £80

Total 7323

This is cheaper than the first option and I have to do less, now if I was willing to compromise on the photos this wouldn’t be a problem, we could do the wedding cheap as chips, but I really can’t see a way around this.

We are able to save this about by tightening our belts considerably but things always crop up I mean its life, so we might in the worst case scenario, have to take out a small loan closer to the time.

Does anyone have any ideas/ kind words/reassurances that might help me stop being so stressed??

Sorry about wittering on and writing so much!
Thanks J

Jill

FBaby

When is the date of your wedding? Have you checked that a registar is available to do the ceremony at the hotel when you want it?

We were delighted when the hotel of our choice was still available on our chosen date as it was only 6 months ahead. They were licensed to conduct the ceremony so were very excited, until the hotel confirmed it was our responsibility to book the registar and we were then informed by the registry that there were none available to come out that day. We had no choice but to book to have the ceremony at the town hall. As it happened, in our case, it is a blessing as having gone inside the town hall (which is a outstanding building), I realised that it was absolutely stunning inside and the room is perfect.

Assuming you can get a registar, I would go for the first option if that is your preferred one. If you are going to spend over £7000, I think an extra £300 is worth for being exactly what you want rather than compromise.

floss2

Is the hotel the only place that will have the photo appeal you desire? Do you have a wet weather plan if you can't have your photos outside?

We got married in our local town hall, in the Council Chamber which is all panelled, stained glass and wooden seats, so our photos look rather fab. We were also blessed with a gorgeous day which meant we got the seafront photos I particularly wanted.

The package sounds very good, and very similar to the one we had in 2010. Why not ask if the hotel can let you have the room free for your ceremony too - I know ours was if we had wanted it.

nuatha

Have you looked any further afield for registry offices? There are some very photogenic buildings/offices available. If you find one without grounds, is there a park nearby?
We're getting married in Newcastle Civic Centre, hardly a pretty building, though the room we're using is far better than the exterior of the building suggests. There's open lawns and trees to one side which works fairly well for photographs. But most of our photography will be done at the pub we've hired for the rest of the day, which has a nice range of possible settings, between the two are some fabulous locations that could be used - downside being that neither of us enjoy having our photos taken
The advantages from our point of view, the wedding including room hire costs £160, we don't have to do a sit down meal and the formalities that go with it. We get married at 2:00pm, we're doing canapes on arrival back at the pub then a finger buffet in the evening with live music and the total is about £1200 - we get to do everything just the way we want it.

On your options I'd agree with Fbaby, I'm wondering if it might be worth casting the net a little wider, a rugby club is likely to have nice looking lawns (assuming you're not getting married in the playing season), could they also cater a sit down meal?
Could you marry in place A, detour via a beautiful park for a photoshoot with your bridal party en route to the rugby club where your group photos happen?

74jax

If you want photos of 'a nice place' can you do it after the wedding? If you want photos of your guests laughing, dancing, eating, chatting that could be anywhere.

Are you wanting formal photos? Or journal ones? I didn't want formal so we have no staged shots, guests laughing and talking without looking at the camera. Whereas if you want formal ones that doesn't fit in if you say your OH is laid back.

You are photographing your wedding day, that's means wherever you get married.

Don't get lost in the 'must haves' look arounf at portfolios of photographers and you'll find one that makes every shot an opportunity.

FBaby

floss2 wrote: »

We got married in our local town hall, in the Council Chamber which is all panelled, stained glass and wooden seats, so our photos look rather fab. We were also blessed with a gorgeous day which meant we got the seafront photos I particularly wanted.

I think that might be the exact same place and room I am booked for

floss2

FBaby wrote: »

I think that might be the exact same place and room I am booked for

Would that be in the famous Lancashire coastal resort, that has a new wedding venue next to the sea?

We have some gorgeous photos from there, one of my favourites is everyone standing on the stairs in the lobby, and of me & hubby snatching a quick snog on the landing just after the ceremony

bunny2548

FBaby wrote: »

When is the date of your wedding? Have you checked that a registar is available to do the ceremony at the hotel when you want it?

We were delighted when the hotel of our choice was still available on our chosen date as it was only 6 months ahead. They were licensed to conduct the ceremony so were very excited, until the hotel confirmed it was our responsibility to book the registar and we were then informed by the registry that there were none available to come out that day. We had no choice but to book to have the ceremony at the town hall. As it happened, in our case, it is a blessing as having gone inside the town hall (which is a outstanding building), I realised that it was absolutely stunning inside and the room is perfect.

Assuming you can get a registar, I would go for the first option if that is your preferred one. If you are going to spend over £7000, I think an extra £300 is worth for being exactly what you want rather than compromise.

I thought I had already said, the wedding is 24th July 2015, and the registrar is already booked for that date and deposit is paid, also with the hotel, so if I cancel the registrar coming out to the hotel and the hotel all together I will be losing £650 which is another reason I'm unsure of what to do.

As I stated before I am a quite controlling which is why it has been booked so far in advance.

74jax - I was wanting quite formal photos as we have such a large family I was wanting staged ones, even though he is very laid back he still wants staged photos as thats what I would prefer, and after all he said he is happy when I'm happy

We don't have any parks near us, were are roughly 40 miles south of Newcastle, and as for going further away, we want it to be local as we have so many family members most of them elderly

I honestly hadn't thought of what will happen if it rains! :eek: the photographer will know though??

The rugby club isn't as posh as it sounds, its also a cricket club, they dont have means to provide hot food so it would be a case of be putting on a buffet and again there are no parks, or anywhere nice for photos which is why the hotel is so perfect as it has its own grounds

With regards to the finding a different photographer, the photographer comes with the package so I wouldn't be able to change it, and I like their work, its just what we are looking for.

Hope Ive been more helpful,

Jill

swampduck

At a family wedding a few years ago, the bride and groom had photos done in the local corporation park!! Have you thought of looking around at the local parks or maybe even a stately home for the photos that you want?

Swampy

Pinzy

We've done kinda the same thing. Our local registry office is lovely but to small for all our family and close friends. There is a larger registry office about 20 minutes away but it's not pretty at all, plus then there'd be the travel. We went for a local golf club, lots of lovely greenery, and the ceremony room has a lovely big skylight. It's obviously more expensive, but we're paying for the less hassle of it all being in one place, and the lovely views, and that we can all get a taxi home! We've tried not to fall into the "it's only one day" trap, but to me it's worth it for less stress.

bunny2548

swampduck wrote: »

At a family wedding a few years ago, the bride and groom had photos done in the local corporation park!! Have you thought of looking around at the local parks or maybe even a stately home for the photos that you want?

Swampy

Unfortunately we don't have facilities like that near us, the only parks we have near us are children's playgrounds and they are in a state of disrepair

I guess I'm sort of asking if people think I'm spending too much money on one day when I know for a fact it could be done for thousands cheaper, Even though I know I wont enjoy it as much as its not what I really wanted.

What we have planned so far is my dream wedding and we can save up for it but is it really worth it for just one day?

Its times like these I wish I lived somewhere pretty