Life is so monotonous...

debtfreesomeday

I am very grateful for everything I do have, a wonderful 2 year old, a husband who loves me, a lovely house etc. but my life is so boring, it's really getting me down. It's the same thing week in week out - I work (to a job which bores me but pays well) 3 days, Ds goes to nursery 3 days, 2 days me & Ds are at home, we have the usual tantrums over him not eating/sleeping; then the weekend comes and we either go to the park/free local events/do shopping/go to local kids club etc as our budget is very limited.

We can't afford holidays, we don't have many friends in this area who seem to be interested in socialising (ie. it's always us who ends up hosting others and we just can't afford it and get a little tired of having to do it all). My family live hundreds of miles away and serious health issues mean they can't travel much, we can't afford to go there much either. The inlaws here (all 3 of them) are quite selfish and are only interested in us when we can be useful or they want feeding.

I'm tired of feeling like this, does anyone have any cheap or free suggestions of how to make our lives a little more exciting?

balletshoes

Are you physically tired OP? I wonder if this is a phase because you have a 2-year old (and lets face it thats a challenging time in a child's life) and you're more worn out than bored?

I think most people live in a routine for most of their lives to be honest, more so when you have young kids. The trick is to find a routine that you find contentment from.

Do you go to mother/toddler groups on your days off? Is there a gym nearby with a creche? Toddler and parent swimming sessions? It sounds like it more adult social interaction you could use, in a social setting rather than at work.

MX5huggy

Get yourself a bike, (or dust to cobwebs off the one you have) and seat for DS and go and explore, even if it's just to a diffrent park. DH could have the seat if your not so confident on the bike.

Dunroamin

What about studying something - that can be stimulating and open up new opportunities. If you feel you need a holiday then why not look at doing a house swap.

Spendless

Why is your budget limited? Looking at your username and signature it seems like you have recently paid off a substantial amount of debt. Hasn't this freed up any cash? Have you decided to go straight into becoming mortgage free. Don't get me wrong I think being mortgage free is an enviable position to be in, but I don't think it should come at the expense of you being 'down' because there is no money for 'fun'. Is it time to give yourself a break or a treat before getting back on the bandwagon. As your child is nursery age, you should be able to find a cheap break for a holiday.

Kynthia

I agree with Spendless. don't sacrifice today for tomorrow. Unless you are in bad debt, money should be split between making your life now better and making a better future.

I know it's not easy finding something that fits round childcare, but would a more interesting job help? Consider joining a gym, studying, a fun evening class or other things for yourself that are unrelated to being a mum? Can you try to make new friends that are interested in socialising? Save for a bargain holiday, somewhere that would interest you?

Is this all a short term thing that will change once DS goes to school, as you an find temporary things to help you get through it? Or do you think it's more than that and you need to make some bigger changes?

PinkLipgloss

Dunroamin wrote: »

What about studying something - that can be stimulating and open up new opportunities.

Yes! i second this.

This website offers an excellent variety of free online courses:

https://www.coursera.org/

pinkshoes

Ignore the tantrums over eating and not sleeping for starters. Kids will eat if they're hungry and sleep if they're tired. I bribe my 2 year old and tell him we can go to the park/do something exciting if he gets some sleep first!

Make a giant papier mache model.

Learn to knit.

Go jogging.

Go on a bear hunt with your 2 year old after reading the bear hunt book.

kingfisherblue

Your local library may have storytime sessions - mine has them twice a week. It's a good chance to meet other mums, and your child benefits as well.

The library or community centre can also tell you of any other local groups that might interest you. The council can give you information about adult and community learning - in my area, there are sometimes eight week courses for parents to attend with their little ones, based on art and making things.

You could feed the ducks, visit local museums (many are free, and they are often child friendly these days), go for local and not so local walks, shop for ingrediants for making a cake (make a pictorial shopping list and let your child find the items - it will take a lot longer, but will be more interesting for them and is a good way to pass the time), play 'painting' the fence with plain water (if you do this at the front of the house, you might be surprised how many neighbours stop to chat and to admire your little one's efforts).

debtfreesomeday

Thanks so much for all your thoughtful replies. I am close to tears reading these in the knowledge that people have taken time out to really try and help. I half expected to receive a lot of criticism, in the 'don't be ungrateful' type manner, so it has been so pleasant reading your suggestions. Thank you.

balletshoes: Yes, I am so tired. Physically and mentally. My son has never been a good sleeper and I have probably had 3 full night's sleep in the past 2.5 years. I'm so tired of being tired. Hubby is very good at getting up early (5am most mornings) with DS, but by that time I'm awake and the sleep doesn't return.

Spendless: Yes, we have now paid our debt off, but bought a house a couple of months ago and got our first mortgage. We are also saving for a new car as our is getting old and we don't want to have to rely on credit when it finally does go. Our intention was to start overpaying the mortgage in big chunks when we've saved for the car (currently only overpaying by £20 a month), but maybe we need to re-evaluate that idea. We desperately don't want to get into loan or credit card debt again.

I haven't been to baby or toddler groups to be honest. I didn't mention before, but my self-confidence has hit an all time low. I have put on quite a bit of weight in the past few years which has massively affected my confidence. I have tried to lose it by going to slimming clubs etc but with DH's hours being irregular for work and no-one to look after DS, it just hasn't been sustainable. I tried taking him with me once. Never again!
I have always been brought up with the 'what will people think?' attitude and hence, I am always so anxious about what people think of me. I wish I could be carefree and not worry what others think, but I just can't.


I love the bear hunt and fence painting ideas, we actually need to stain our new fence so I could give him fence paint if that didn't verge on child labour!
You have all come up with some wonderful suggestions and, after a day which has involved lots of tears, some bad news and lots of distress, it really has been a breath of fresh air, thank you all so much.

balletshoes

debtfreesomeday wrote: »

I have always been brought up with the 'what will people think?' attitude and hence, I am always so anxious about what people think of me. I wish I could be carefree and not worry what others think, but I just can't.

I really hope this doesn't sound patronising, I really don't mean it to. As a mum you will be judged all the way through your child's life, so you need to learn not to care what randoms think. The only people in life who matter are your nearest and dearest - they are the only ones, no-one else's opinion matters.

Be kind to yourself, you matter to your son and your husband, you're worth their love.