Benefits and shared care

Dunroamin

Why was your ex claiming the CB when you were still together?

ETA

And how has he been awarded shared custody with a history of DV?

starry93

He has always claimed the child benefit. He is a very controlling person.
He is a good dad and our son is happy with shared care.

allen35

You say you would receive a lot more than him if you claimed and would share the benefit with him....

What is the point then?

If you can work an extra 6 hours as suggested you would be entitled to claim working tax credits in your own right.

I can't seem to get my head around shared care for a young child where school is concerned, if it's 50/50 does this mean 1 weekend with you and the next week the child stays through the week vice versa.

There needs to be some communication between you both for the chld's sake and stability.

zzzLazyDaisy

OP you are confusing two separate issues.

The court order for shared care, is to make clear how much time your child spends with each parent (and in some cases even when the child is with each parent). It is an allocation of time. It does not dictate who is the main care giver in terms of picking the children up after school, who takes time off from work if the child is ill, who buys the child's clothes. Even who feeds the child. I knew of one shared care arrangement where the mother had to send the child to the father with her school dinner money and pocket money on the days that the child stayed with the father, and was even responsible for picking the child up from her father's, taking her to school, picking her up from school, giving her tea, and getting her into her pj's before returning her to her father's house on the days she stayed with her dad.

For benefits purposes there is NO CONCEPT OF SHARED CARE. One person is the parent with care, and the other is the non-resident parent. Generally, the person who claims CB is deemed to be the PWC for benefits purposes unless the other parent challenges this.

I am presuming that part of the reason that you work 24 hours a week is because you are the main carer for the school's purposes? Do you have the child after school? Who does the school call if the child is ill, you or the father? Who would take time off work if the child was ill - would it depend on who he was staying with on that day, or is that your responsibility? All these things point towards who the PWC is for benefits purposes. It is a different test.

Of course he does not want to relinquish CB, that would mean you would be entitled to tax credits and you could also claim maintenance from him as PWC (with deductions for the days the child stays with him).

What he is doing is continuing the financial control over you that he had during the marriage. Womens aid will be able to put you in touch with a welfare benefits adviser who can help you to get the cb transferred to you. WA see this sort of thing all the time and they should be geared up to help you with this.

Mojisola

zzzLazyDaisy wrote: »

Of course he does not want to relinquish CB, that would mean you would be entitled to tax credits and you could also claim maintenance from him as PWC (with deductions for the days the child stays with him).

What he is doing is continuing the financial control over you that he had during the marriage. You have womens aid involved and they should be able to put you in touch with a welfare benefits adviser who can help you to get the cb transferred to you. WA see this sort of thing all the time and they should be geared up to help you with this.

Totally agree about his behaviour still being abusive.

The CSA counts the nights spent with each parent as the factor that controls any reductions in payment, rather than days.

zzzLazyDaisy

Mojisola wrote: »

Totally agree about his behaviour still being abusive.

The CSA counts the nights spent with each parent as the factor that controls any reductions in payment, rather than days.

Thank you Mojisola. I was presuming that with 50/50 shared care days spent with the father would include the nights too, but I agree I should have been more specific.

Dx

FBaby

If you are struggling to pay your mortgage, then stopping to pay for uniforms and clubs has to be the priority. If your ex doesn't pick those costs up, you can explain to your son why you had to stop paying for them as his dad gets all the money to pay for these.

It's tough, but it's got to be done, especially if you are at risk of being in debts.

nannytone_2

i agree that the OP paying for the extras whilst the father is receiving benefit is a bad thing.
but involving the child by telling him that the fathert gets the money so he should buy everything is a BAD idea.
the situation is not of the childs making and he shouldnt be expected to decide which of his parents is 'good' and whicj is 'bad'

starry93

ZZZLazydaisy you are so right, and thanks for the advice about Woman's aid as I haven't thought about them.
The shared care arrangement is as follows,
WEEK1
Monday- mum
Tuesday- mum
Wednesday-Dad
Thursday-Dad
Friday- mum
Saturday-Mum
Sunday- mum

WEEK 2
Monday-Dad
Tuesday- Dad
Wednesday- Mum
Thursday- Mum
Friday - Dad
Saturday- Dad
Sunday-Dad

Had a shock today when my 6yr old son told me that daddy is putting him and his 10yr old brother to bed, and then going out to walk the dogs and leaving them home alone. He said that he is scared and climbs into his brothers bed, and then gets back into his own bed once he hears dad coming back.
I have informed local police unit as they know all the past history and they are going to drive by and see if they can catch him doing it. Thank god my son is with me this weekend and I will be contacting social services on Monday morning.

mikey_bach

Are there one son or two sons here?