Issue with the care of our puppy.

megan01

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balletshoes

OP you say you and your Dad have issues, but that your mum is fine.

Whats your Mum's opinion of putting the dog in kennels while they are away on holiday, if you are sure you can't take care of the puppy?

Maybe, as you say you wanted a puppy as well as it being of benefit to your Dad, your parents expect that it won't be too much of a burden for you to take care of the family pet while they are away, you know, take on the responsibility, and that would be good for you?

My own opinion is, pets rely on us totally, and give unconditional love in return. As an adult, old enough to be left on your own, I would expect you could reasonably take care of your pet for a week. Who takes care of the puppy's daily needs now?

Only you know if you could/could not do this responsibly.

McKneff

Why not try to get used to the idea of taking care of the puppy now.
Be totally responsible for it and see how it goes.

Feed it, walk it, give it some cuddles. What else does it need that you cant cater for.

BitterAndTwisted

You wanted it but had no contingency planned for when you would be solely responsible for it? You knew it was likely that your parents would both be away at the same time, as they've been away before. This pup is going to be living with you for well over the next 15 years. Did you never expect to have to look after it on your own?

If you can't face being responsible for it while they're on holiday, I think you should pay for the kenneling.

Pixiechic

Why did you want and get a puppy if you knew that you couldn't look after it?

It really gets me when poor animals are bought with excitement, only to be dropped as soon as the care required becomes 'too much'.

If you really don't think that you can care for the puppy then you need to arrange for the puppy to be taken care of elsewhere. It isn't fair on the puppy.

Don't just 'get rid', at least take some responsibility between you all to look for a decent home for the poor puppy.

zaxdog

Re home the poor puppy now since nobody seems inclined to look after it properly. Pets are a serious grown up responsibility and not to be "got rid of" when the are no longer convenient.

Sorry if it sounds harsh but all my concern in this situation is for the dog.

tea_lover

It does sound as though the best thing for the puppy might be to rehome him somewhere where his needs will be fully met. A dog is a huge responsibility and to be honest it doesn't seem as if your family is able to give that level of commitment right now.

lika_86

You say you were the one who wanted a puppy, did you discuss with your parents when you got it as to who would be responsible for it? Them or you? Or jointly?

A dog is a big commitment and this should have been discussed before you all decided to get one.

If you really can't manage for the whole week, could you have the puppy for two long weekends and only put it into a kennel for a few days in the middle?

DKLS

Looking after the puppy could actually help with your mental health, the puppy will rely on you for his simple needs and will be a great companion, and it would be a great achievement if you could look after the puppy for the week.

But if you cant look after the puppy for the duration of the holiday, I would be looking for a good home and consider if you should be having a pet right now considering your fathers and your own long term conditions, a puppy deserves better.

poorlittlefish

Dogs are canny creatures and can pick up on their owners' distress and he'll be wondering where your parents have gone.

You've said you've had 4 years of counselling. Is this CBT? Have you discussed the situation with your counsellor and put together a plan of what you can do to improve your thinking processes and minimise your distress over looking after the dog while your parents are away?

I'm tempted to suggest that if you give it a go, you might find yourself able to cope and the sense of achievement you'll feel will give you more confidence in future situations. I wonder if your parents have more faith in you than you have in yourself and that's why they have refused to put your dog in kennels (which would be a distressing environment for him, not to mention costly).

If you genuinely feel it's too much to handle by yourself (thinking logically about it when you're feeling calm, rather than when you feel panic), is there a friend or relative who could help you? Maybe you could share the time you have the dog with them, or maybe they could pop over to help you walk him etc?

I can understand why you would worry about your Dad, but your parents must have weighed up the pros and cons about going on holiday and feel it's something he can cope with. Presumably they've taken out adequate health insurance which will mean your Dad gets treatment/repatriation if something does happen?

As you've indicated, a 5-month-old puppy is a lot of work and if your Dad's physical health and your mental health is likely to cause ongoing worry or problems in looking after your dog then it might be fairer to give him to another family while he's young enough for you all to get over it.

sassyblue

megan01 wrote: »

My panic attacks get incredibly worse whenever I am separated from my parents when they go on holiday mainly because my parents make the silly decision to go on holiday when my dad isn't well and could easily have a big seizure when they are abroad and wouldn't have the care of his normal consultants and I worry about them.

Wouldn't it help your anxiety to look after the puppy while your parents are away? It would keep your mind occupied, presumably you wouldn't feed him too much bone so it wouldn't be sick from that?

I don't like the comments about your parents decision to go on holiday, if your parents feel comfortable going away (and l assume his doctors are ok with it) then that is their decision. They do have hospitals abroad you know! and he could have a seizure anywhere. Maybe this worry stems from your own issues and the fact that you would like your parents to be with you but unfortunately you have to learn to cope with your own panic attacks and get yourself better.

I'm not being harsh, l have suffered exactly like you when l was a teenager, for me getting a dog was what made me better, as l had to care for him and get out and walk him.

You CAN do this, you can stay in touch via phone with your parents, how about getting a friend to stay with you whilst they're away? xxx