Very small family

SmallL

75% of my then already small family have died in the past 3 years, im 21 and an only child.
I don't usually feel lonely, but talking to my OH about our future wedding makes me feel very lonely. Il have 3 of my own family members compared to the swathes of his, we've decided to keep it to close family for this reason.

gwen80

I don't know how I would be managing this move if it wasn't for my Mum. I work in a pretty specialised field and am moving for a job. No partner. I'm not sure I could do a move like this again if I was on my own. Or maybe I'd have to be more organised? Or maybe I need to find a more 'normal' job?

Gx

Dunroamin

gwen80 wrote: »

Does it bother you Dunroamin? Do you have a partner that is your family?

I have a husband and we're everything to each other. Unfortunately he's in the later stages of emphysema so it'll then be me with the cats and dogs as my family.

IHD

I only have my mum. Im divorced and alone. My mum is getting on and that scares me. I dont have any friends either (because of illness) . Anyone else like that? and how do you cope?

Hermia

Dunroamin wrote: »

I'm a childless only child whose parents are dead. You can't get a much smaller family than that!

Same here! It's an odd feeling when it seems like everyone else in the world has someone they could turn to in a crisis. I am always aware that I must be self-sufficient. It's both scary, but also quite freeing I suppose. I know so many people who don't feel they could move away from their family or don't feel they can change their life because they are responsible for elderly parents. It's interesting to think I could do anything with my life or move anywhere without anything stopping me.

paulineb_2

Ive never known anything but having a small family. I dont know what its like to have loads of extended relatives and Ive never felt that Ive missed out either.

Lots of families hardly see one another no matter if theres hundreds of them.

My family are close, always have been and Im quite happy with the way things are.

Im sure lots of people go through lonely spells, even those with lots of family, as for friends, I dont have hundreds of friends, Ive a couple of close ones and some people I see occasionally.

My lack of family isnt something I can change and it doesnt upset me.

NervousHomeowner

gwen80 wrote: »

I don't know how I would be managing this move if it wasn't for my Mum. I work in a pretty specialised field and am moving for a job. No partner. I'm not sure I could do a move like this again if I was on my own. Or maybe I'd have to be more organised? Or maybe I need to find a more 'normal' job?

Gx

It gets easier with time Just remember that, as much as it is difficult to start with, you will manage and you will learn to cope! Moving away definitely encourages you to become more independent, which can be a fun experience in itself

I think the worst part of moving away for me was worrying about my mum & how she'd cope without me. I don't know if this is likely to be a problem for you but does your mum have a good group of friends or anything who can keep her company & help her cope? It made me feel better to know that my mum had friends who were going around to check on her & keep her company.

Will your mum be able to visit you? One thing that really helped me was arranging a date for my mum to visit before I moved. It made it easier to leave knowing I was definitely going to see her again in 2 weeks. This might be a good idea?
Also, texting and phone calls are good for keeping in touch but it can be easy to become too reliant on them & not make the effort to mix with new people!

pebbles88

Friends are the family you actually get to choose. Xx

PasturesNew

There's me, two siblings (with no kids, only one married) each 200 miles in different directions and one parent with dementia in a care home 200 miles away.

I'm a pretty small family.

I also don't work and don't know anybody, have no friends anywhere. I rarely step outside of the door really.

gwen80

pebbles88 wrote: »

Friends are the family you actually get to choose. Xx

I agree The closest I had to a grandparent growing up was an absolutely lovely old man that was a family friend. I still miss him now