Theft dilemma

pinkshoes

I'd speak to the parents of the boy you caught snooping, and explain that as no one else has been in the house, if the items don't appear within 48 hours, you will have no choice but to contact the police and put forward ALL the boys names, INCLUDING your own son!

BitterAndTwisted

I'd send a letter to every single parent explaining what you've lost and why none of the children are welcome in your home any longer. Very few sensible parents would miss their kid being in possession of valuable items that they know were not bought for them

timbo58

agree with pinkshoes I'm afraid.
You need to make a deadline and stick to it, as it seems you have already asked for the items back 'no questions asked' and it hasn't happened, I am afraid you have to decide which end of the stick is the sh***iest now:
a) Contact their parents, explain that items have gone missing with a full description (photos better) of the items and ask if they could have a discreet word as all you want is the items back and it will go no further.
Or you apologise in advance, but you will HAVE to contact the police regarding the matter and no offence many: but that's the only way the insurance company will consider paying out and you can't afford to have had those items disappear.

Explain that no one else could have taken the items very clearly indeed.
i.e. Items WERE there at 4pm and were NOT there at 6pm, only people in the house were little Johnnys friends.

b) Contact the police and make a formal statement with receipts of goods/photos and explain who was in the house when the items went missing, full names, ages and addresses.

Get a crime reference number, the last thing you want is to agree the matter be dealt with 'informally' and the Police not take any action, as you'll then have !!!!!! off the parents AND have no insurance claim.

a)+b) or b) are your only options, although a+b is better as it follows a reasonable course of action and gives everyone a chance before making it 'formal'.

BitterAndTwisted

pinkshoes wrote: »

I'd speak to the parents of the boy you caught snooping, and explain that as no one else has been in the house, if the items don't appear within 48 hours, you will have no choice but to contact the police and put forward ALL the boys names, INCLUDING your own son!

This is the very last thing I would do! You cannot make a direct accusation of only one kid when you don't have any proof, just a vague suspicion. Looking through a drawer or two is not the same as pinching a number of things over a period of time.

Contact all of the parents in the same way and make no accusations against any of them. I suspect one or some of the kids must have a very good idea of who it was.

paulineb_2

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

This is the very last thing I would do! You cannot make a direct accusation of only one kid when you don't have any proof, just a vague suspicion. Looking through a drawer or two is not the same as pinching a number of things over a period of time.

Contact all of the parents in the same way and make no accusations against any of them. I suspect one or some of the kids must have a very good idea of who it was.

I agree. It could have been any of them, if you have to give all names to the police so be it.

I wonder what the other kids parents would do if they thought people had been stealing from their house?

mrcow

You can speak to the parents without accusing anyone.

Do you not think that ALL the parents need to know that this has been going on? What if someone else starts having stuff taken from their house? Surely they'd want to be warned as well?

I know I would.

3v3

concerned43 wrote: »

....
I know his friends have a habit of stealing pencils, erasers etc from school but never thought they would steal from me ...

If his friends have a "habit" of stealing from school, then it is a "habit" which needs to be broken, surely?

concerned43 wrote: »

....
Thing is I have no proof to who took these items and cannot claim on my insurance unless I get police incident number! and I do not want to do that as I do not want to ruin the boys lives...

No 'proof', but you do have a strong suspicion, coupled with the knowledge that they steal from their school

concerned43 wrote: »

My son and I have already spoke with his friends who deny all knowledge...

That is neither surprising or conclusive.

concerned43 wrote: »

.... I do not want to ruin the boys lives...

This is the real dilemma: if you do nothing, you are condoning what they are doing.

If they have progressed from school rubbers and pencils to costly items from their friend's home ... how far do you think it could/would progress if it isn't nipped in the bud?

Maybe, by doing nothing, and it escalates to bigger things, you are potentially increasing how far their lives may be 'ruined'?

Just food for thought.

How old are these boys?

BitterAndTwisted

Who cares how old these boys are? A thief is a thief. This isn't a three year old sneaking some Smarties.

Guest101

concerned43 wrote: »

don't feel comfortable with that - could be accused of all sorts of things!

??? For installing CCTV on YOUR property, you're concered??

If you mean legal implications, there aren't any. Let me put it this way I could (i'm not going to of course ) turn up outsid eyour house with y video camera and stand there filming your house. There is nothing anyone could do to stop me. So don't worry about doing it INSIDE your house!

marisco_2

I am seeing this from a different perspective. How many of your sons friends use to come round to your house at one time? Did they have free reign of the house or were they only allowed in certain rooms with him present? Even as a teenager I would have been very aware of what my friends were up to in my parents home. Unless you leave these kind of expensive items just lying around, then your son is the only one of the group who would know where they were. I think you need to handle this situation carefully. I am sorry to say this but my gut reaction is that your son knows far more about all this than he has so far admitted.