Have you got a child who has emigrated?

ibizafan_2

My youngest son, who is 28, has moved permanently to Brisbane. He is living with a fantastic Australian girl and the future looks great, as they both have good jobs. People keep assuming that I must be devastated that he is so far away, but I am really pleased for him, as opportunities seem better over there. He couldn't get employment here in his chosen degree field (surveying) and is doing a Masters' online and has actually gone into accounting. Am I wrong to be ok with him so far away? What with Skype etc, I seem to talk to him more frequently, if anything! Planning on a big trip to visit him next year, so not all bad. I'd love to hear from others in a similar situation.

SavingPennies_2

I think it's great you are so positive about his move. Some parents guilt trip their children into staying as close as possible. Sounds like this will be great opportunity for him and you!

Hermia

I'm not in your situation, but have a few friends and relatives in their 20s/30s who have moved abroad. I'd say all the parents sounds very similar to you. They are sad their child is so far away, especially where grandchildren are involved, but generally they are chuffed their kid is making something of their life. My aunt talks to her son more now he is living abroad than when he was living in the same town!

thebillet

My lad is away in the Far East, that is after years in South America and India as well. He loves it, he gets everything he wants out of life by and large. We communicate regularly Facethingy and Skype etc and he does pop back time to time. It's not forever or perhaps it is; he is slowly but surely putting down roots but if he ever needs to come back there is space for him. I prefer him to be over there enjoying life, not tied to paying interest to some faceless organisation and having to grind out a living. I also have kids (30-35) who are here and happy. I went out to see my son, quite an adventure, roughed it quite a bit and learned to ride a motor bike enjoyed seeing him but also enjoyed coming home. It is a different world these days, loads of options to travel to and fro. If he's happy and you're happy and he knows you're happy then it's all good. Enjoy your trip, people tell me it is long way to Oz.

CH27

ibizafan wrote: »

My youngest son, who is 28, has moved permanently to Brisbane. He is living with a fantastic Australian girl and the future looks great, as they both have good jobs. People keep assuming that I must be devastated that he is so far away, but I am really pleased for him, as opportunities seem better over there. He couldn't get employment here in his chosen degree field (surveying) and is doing a Masters' online and has actually gone into accounting. Am I wrong to be ok with him so far away? What with Skype etc, I seem to talk to him more frequently, if anything! Planning on a big trip to visit him next year, so not all bad. I'd love to hear from others in a similar situation.

You obviously want what is best for your son & for him to be happy.
Your son is a lucky boy.

angelil

I am the child who emigrated. I moved to France in 2008 aged 22. My move was actually quite sudden, in the sense that I initially just went for a job interview but ended up accepting and starting the next day! So I ended up ringing my parents with the good news ("I got a job!") and the bad news ("I start tomorrow, so won't be coming back..."). They took it BRILLIANTLY I must say. Good on you for doing the same

marisco_2

I don't think you are wrong to be happy about the fact that your son is living overseas, carving out a fantastic life for himself and is happily settled with a girl he gets on really well with.

I do think you should feel justly proud of yourself for raising him so well. He has grown into a young man who is confident, capable, self sufficient and able to stand on his own two feet. I expect you miss him greatly but are selfless enough to want the best for him, even if that means not seeing him as often as you would if he were home in the UK.

All this speaks volumes to me about the wonderful relationship you both share and how strong your bond with each other is. Distance isn't an issue to either of you and that is how it should be.

browneyedbazzi

I don't think you're wrong at all - you want the best for your child and are supportive of him doing what he needs to do in order to make a good life for himself. To me, that's the way a parent should be!

I'm a child who emigrated (10 years ago) and sadly my parents were not as supportive as you are and my mom continually tries to guilt trip me about being far away and not spending all my free money and leave visiting them etc. I wish my parents were a bit more like you!

pollypenny

Yes. DS lives in the USA and I miss him so much.

Thank god for technology. My friend pointed out that her Scottish mother, moving to South Wales on marriage just after WW11' had little contact with the family left behind.

DS has a fantastic job and salary, a lovely wife and two baby boys. Second one born lat week. Not being able to see them in the flesh is hard, so looking forward to going in a few weeks.

It's well worth getting iPads for the fantastic FaceTime links, better than Skype.

marisco_2

pollypenny wrote: »

DS has a fantastic job and salary, a lovely wife and two baby boys. Second one born lat week.

Congratulations on becoming a nanny again, that is such lovely news. Bet you cant wait to meet your new grandson. Enjoy loads of special cuddles with him.

ibizafan_2

Pollypenny, I have got Facetime on my ipad. Great, isn't it? Glad people think I'm right to think the way I do. Of course, if and when grandchildren come along, it will be harder as you can't just pop to Oz for the weekend!