Brain Cancer

Katie_Pink

My best friend's Mum who we all thought was recovering well from breast cancer has found out today that she now has a brain tumour.

Does anybody know what the survival rates or anything are?

also, what can I do for them to help out? What do you think would be most appreciated?

This is made worse by the fact my friend is getting married in August.

nic82

Hi Katie,

I'm sorry to hear about your friend's mum.

You can find quite a lot of information here http://www.cancerhelp.org.uk/help/default.asp?page=5296 about survival rates, although they do vary with age.

When you read it, remember that it doesn't take into account whether people have haven't had treatment or which treatment(s) they have had if they've had some.

It's very difficult to know what to do to help out. Different people require help in different ways and some people don't want help at all. I'm hopefully not offending you by saying that, but it is the truth. A lot of people just "want to get on with it" and carry on as normally as possibly. If they are suddenly inundated with offers of help, etc. it takes that normality away from them.

If you do feel help will be appreciated, then depending on the circumstances, you could offer lifts to hospital appointments, find out about the benefits she is entitled to (if she has to give up work, etc.). If your friend's mum will be undergoing treatment, then she will probably feel awful at times and not have any energy or want to do anything. In those situations, anything from taking round a cooked meal, walking the dog, watering the garden, fetching shopping, etc. are often appreciated. However, she may have a husband/other family who want to do those things and IMO, I think they should. They will be feeling hopeless, so any small thing they can do to help, they will want to do.

Hope this helps a bit.
xxx

Sagaris

So sorry to hear your news.
I think it depends on lots of things, the type of tumour, where it is situated, the age of the patient etc.
As for helping them out - the usual sorts of things would probably be appreciated - just being there for them is probably the best one.
(((hugs))) to all of you.

melancholly

i'm so so sorry

these are a few sites that might help, although they will be difficult to read as the outlook is probably not great given that this is a secondary tumour - but it will depend on what type of tumour it is. it's probably best to get this kind of information from the oncologist that she is seeing as it will be the most accurate to the specific situation. it will also depend on whether the cancer has also spread anywhere else. the last link is to help information on the breast cancer care website - if you feel up to talking to someone about it, they would be a good resource.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brain_tumor
http://www.tbts.org/itemDetail.asp?categoryID=383&itemID=16635
http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/content.php?page_id=44

nic82

Actually, just thought, since your friend is getting married, she could try and get her mum involved as much as possible. I know most of the preparations will be done by now, but perhaps writing letters to sending off the final cheques to suppliers (not suggesting she writes the cheques!!) or shopping around for any last minute bits (either in the highstreet or online) would help. I'm sure it would keep her occupied which means less time to think about her illness.

patchwork_cat

Hi
I am so sorry, I lost my mum to breast cancer when i was 28. I am sorry to say that as she has secondaries her chances really are not good. She may recover from the brain tumour, but the problem is that the cancer has got into her lymph system.

I went to see my dr when my mum was diagnosed with liver secondaries and he was exceptionally blunt ( he has however now been suspended from practising for other reasons thank god ) so if you are enquiring inorder to tell your friend It will be hard.

Get your friend to have a chat with the Macmillian nurses as they will be up to date on all treatments and prognosis. Very sorry, your friend will need lots of support be there for her as she will have to be there fo rher mum.

Errata

This http://www.cancerbackup.org.uk/Home has lots of information and a telephone helpline.

TAG

I'm sorry to hear your sad news.

My grandmother died 2 years ago. She had breast cancer, had a mastectomy but then got secondaries in her lungs and finally it spread to her liver. Her husband (my grandfather) was also diagnosed with cancer about a year or so after her diagnosis.

I have to say though they both stayed/have stayed very positive throughout and took each day at a time. Some days good some bad. Also set goals to get to i.e the birth of my daughter. My grandfather is currentley looking
forward to his daughters (my aunties) 25th wedding anniversary that's in August as well.

Look upon her forthcoming wedding as a positive and something for all to focus on.

Just be there for your friend. She'll have to be strong for her mum but she will also need someone to turn to.

Best wishes xxxx

Hapless_2

I lost my father and 2 uncles to brain tumours 11,17 and 30 years ago respectively, but do take heart, there are brain tumours they can do nothing about and tumours they can cure.

Martin Kemp (ex-spandau ballet, Eastenders etc) he had a brain tumour about 12 yrs ago and he's fighting fit.

http://www.braintumourtrust.co.uk/index.htm

Penny_Watcher

My Dad had a brain tumour the size of a conker removed a couple of years ago. He had post operative complications (pneumonia) but the original op went well.

I will say the operation didn't improve him much . He's gone from being a young at heart 69 year old to a doddery, very old 71 year old. But it sure as heck beats the alternative

All very best wishes to your best friends Mum.

FRUGAL_4

I can't offer you any useful advice, I don't know enough about certain types of cancers, but I offer you, your friend and your friends mum my very best wishes, its so very sad to read these types of threads and not be able to contribute anything of any use.

I agree with the posters above get your friends mum to get as involved as possible with the wedding, and most of all be there for the difficult times ahead whatever the outcome, your friend will have lots of up and down days, and organising a wedding can be inself a stressful time.:grouphug:

My thoughts are with you all,

FRUGAL