To Expat or Not?

mutley74

I have been offered an expat job in Far East (Singapore) with provision to bring my young son (only me and him). I have already been there many times of business trips and love the place.
Tearing me apart on what to decide, welcome any tips or advice from others experiences if possible. (I am taking my son out there this week for a visit)

Benefits of moving
-better weather!
-experience of working with many different cultures and backgrounds
-A very varied demanding job on offer
-Experience of different way of life
-Facilities and options on offer for residents
- Opportunities in holidays to travel rest of Far East
-better social opportunities
-in some ways better schooling and opportunities for my son
-could be once in lifetime opportunity


Disadvantages of moving
-parents are 70+ with health conditions
-cost of living overseas is very high, despite a good income offered.
-no free dental care – sons braces will cost £3k!
-will have no car
-will be 7000 miles from home so not easy to get back to UK
-limited holidays in role
-already have reasonable work/life in UK (but could be better on social side)
-will not be able to take many possessions with me such as car etc.
-cost of cancelling mobile contracts, insurance schemes in UK etc

DAK if I will lose child benefit entitlement by moving abroad for 2 years?

evi3000

You will definitely lose your child care.

We moved to Saudi Arabia a few years ago. We're still here. Probably looking to move back to the UK in the next year or so.

Saudi and Singapore are extremely different but I have found the expat life to be extremely beneficial, not only financially but also for us as a family.

It really depends on the package on offer.

We get free housing and utilities, no tax, no council tax, school fees are paid, petrol is obscenely cheap as is car insurance. We also get free health insurance and annual flights home.

We rented our home out in the UK so rarely return home so we have been on some amazing extended holidays (nobody in their right mind would stay here in the summer. So, we are about to pay off the mortgage in a few months time thanks to the savings we have made.

As for your parents, do you have any siblings? With Skype and international travel, you're never that far away. My mother was horrified when we told her we were moving. We pointed out that the temporary move would set us up for life as the mortgage would be paid in a few years instead of the 15 years it had left so we would be able to have a better quality of life on our return to the UK.

What I'm trying to say is that it depends on the package on offer. But also what a wonderful experience for you both. If the maths works out I'd say take the job.

evi3000

I forgot to mention that British expat schools tend to have small classes. My son has 20 in his class. My daughter has about the same number. The education tends to be a lot better on a par with independent schools in the uK.

FBaby

How old is your son? How does he feel about it? Does he have contact with his dad? Will this be an issue?

I personally would wait until you come back from your trip with your son as I would think how he feels will have a huge impact on your decision? (unless he is small, but you mention braces, so assume 10-12?)

mutley74

thanks for the quick replies!

my son is almost 12years and he would like an experience to live abroad, as he has never been outside Europe i am taking him to Singapore as a holiday. To see how he likes the places, weather etc before making any final decision.

Money - althought my wages will be higher incl. accommodation allowance, health care, 1 flight home....i will be break even i.e. i would not be working there for extra money that will help me retire early if you know what i mean.

Also i am single parent dad, so childcare will be my biggest challenge, as currently have lots of help from parents. But as Singapore is a relatively safe country it i have a bit less worry.

Have a Sibling in UK but hard to depend on them for help with parents.

FBaby

Sorry for assuming you were female :cool: Shows how ingrained stereotypes are! Is his mum not in the picture?

I think if your son is keen, you've passed the biggest challenge. It is just making sure that he is realistic about what it will mean. Yes, it will be great to get away from cold grey England, but from what I've heard, Singapore is hot and sticky and although exciting to start with, can get quite overwhelming to the point that some people are desperate to get back to English weather!

Childcare? Will your son go to an international school? Do you know which one you expect him to attend and will you be visiting it next week? If so, I assume they will be able to provide a lot of help and advice about childcare as they are used to dealing with expat parents.

Nottoobadyet

I've been an expat for essentially all of my adult life. It depends a lot on where you are, and I dont know Singapore at all. However I'd say -

- Its a great experience for young people and your son will benefit greatly from global exposure and education in a multinational school. I assume your employer will pay international school fees, as they can be massive? Its pretty standard so insist if it hasnt been offered

- Things are almost always more expensive than you expect, so if you are planning on just breaking even then I'd be a bit worried. I work in public health so dont make a mint but certainly am able to save and would expect to be able to during an overseas posting

- The social scenes are uniformly a bit weird, but if this is just a year or two that shouldnt matter much. Having a child will help a lot in connecting you to other expats in your age group - its rough to be childless in the older demographic

- Hols! From Singapore you have budget airlines that can take you all over SEA for a hundred quid or so, if you take advantage of it this could be the experience of a lifetime.

mutley74

FBaby wrote: »

Sorry for assuming you were female :cool: Shows how ingrained stereotypes are! Is his mum not in the picture?

I think if your son is keen, you've passed the biggest challenge. It is just making sure that he is realistic about what it will mean. Yes, it will be great to get away from cold grey England, but from what I've heard, Singapore is hot and sticky and although exciting to start with, can get quite overwhelming to the point that some people are desperate to get back to English weather!

Childcare? Will your son go to an international school? Do you know which one you expect him to attend and will you be visiting it next week? If so, I assume they will be able to provide a lot of help and advice about childcare as they are used to dealing with expat parents.

yes I am single dad, been like that for many years! His mum not in picture, and I have legal custody.
That is my other challenge - from what I understand I need her "permission" to take a child overseas, yet I don't know her contact details.

Plan to visit some schools next week which are based near my proposed office, to gain an insight.

Don't get me wrong I will make money there and be well off but after flights, childcare extras, dental care etc I wont be retiring with a big pot of gold compared to my UK lifestyle.

FBaby

I think it would be safer if you sought advice about removing your son without the permission of his mum. It sounds like she is unlikely to care one bit, but would still be safer just in case she suddenly remembers she has a child.

My limited knowledge on this is I think you might need to request this authorisation from a judge. You don't have to find her, you just need to apply and provide whatever information they request from you. At least it will be in their hands and you will have the security to know you are doing things legally.

My gut feeling is that you should definitely go for it if your son comes back excited at the prospect. It's a wonderful experience as you say and probably the right time to do it for him. You will get to share so much together.

princeofpounds

I was in the position of your son (not singapore but a variety of other places) when growing up.

It can be of huge benefit to spend some time abroad growing up. I don't know the best way to describe it, but your personal horizons open up massively. And that wider perspective can have a beneficial impact on all sorts of areas of your life.

mutley74

FBaby wrote: »

I think it would be safer if you sought advice about removing your son without the permission of his mum. It sounds like she is unlikely to care one bit, but would still be safer just in case she suddenly remembers she has a child.

My limited knowledge on this is I think you might need to request this authorisation from a judge. You don't have to find her, you just need to apply and provide whatever information they request from you. At least it will be in their hands and you will have the security to know you are doing things legally.

My gut feeling is that you should definitely go for it if your son comes back excited at the prospect. It's a wonderful experience as you say and probably the right time to do it for him. You will get to share so much together.

thats what i have been advised as potential option..other but i dont really want to spend £300 on court fees plus time of work for hearings etc. other option know her previous address and send her a letter to request permission.