The DF journey diary of ilovelondontown

ilovelondontown

Thanks Bobarella, I really was taken aback by how pushy she was being, she's a good friend too the guilt trip was unexpected. In the end she came to mine over the weekend to limit the spending and she ended up driving (and not drinking) to save money.... The irony of her doing that was not lost on me!

Anyway it's a glorious Monday morning, and I'm in a good place today, still tired from an eventful weekend, but I can't complain. I'm getting back to the gym today, replying to texts- been lazy with that and generally keeping focused on the spending thing. I like the thought of getting to the next pay day without spending on my credit card, I'm going to be SO proud of myself if I get that far!

Happy Monday Everyone

LoveaDove

Hello ilovelondontown

Great to see someone else who is 'fixated' with moneysaving/debt repayment. I find myself getting a little obsessional, but I convince myself that it is a way to rewire my thought processes about spending and ultimately developing new habits. However, there is that point in the day when you have to 'switch off' from it, the worst time being at night before bed! I try to get involved with a book, just so that I can actually sleep. As soon as I wake up though the DFW ways kick in.

My housemates think I am a money saving geek, however (over time) they have also acquired some of my money saving ways- being less snobbish about buying value/ yellow sticker products, and socialising more at home than out and about.

I can relate to friend's pressuring you to go out and spend even when you explain your financial situation. It is really hard to say no, but I find suggesting a cheaper alternative, such as what you did makes for a better day/evening!

Keep up the good work! It sounds like you're making great progress already!

ilovelondontown

Thanks LoveaDove, the support of others cheeing me on around here is what is keeping me going (and sane I think!)

I’m only about a month in from my light bulb moment but I feel like I’ve learnt so much about my financial spending and the bad habits I’ve picked up already.

There was something so giddy and exciting about the Lightbulb moment, I felt relief and sense of control that I’d never felt before, it was brilliant and I wanted to shout from the rooftop that I’d had this revelation and I was taking back the emotional money tug I had every month

I remain grateful and appreciative that my debt isn’t as crippling as it is for some, and I truly sympathise to anyone who is in my state or worse. There is something about money when you don’t have it that makes you go ugh. I used to think that having debt was normal, acceptable and expected. . The lightbulb moment for me came when I was expressing my desire to start a family with my husband, he kept saying we can’t afford it yet, so I set out to show him how we can afford it and it struck me that he’s right, we can’t. Yet. As I said my debt isn’t crippling but it’s stopping me from getting the only thing I could ever want out of life.

Maybe starting a family while you're paying off debt or in the thick of serious debt is ok for some but not for me. I don’t want to live the next X amount of years fighting the demons of money. I want to enjoy money, feel like it works for me not the other way around. I’m still convincing the hubby that I’ve seen the light, he thinks I’m just having a fixation, that it’ll be over by next month and I’ll be back to using my once trusty and beloved credit card, but if I have my way – and no genuine emergency need for it- aka life or death- I won’t be using it again. It’s been cut up and I don’t have record of the card number anywhere to tempt me.

All that said, I’m now in the middle of what I like to call 2 week limbo. The limbo state that comes two weeks after you get the monthly thrill of paying down your debt and seeing the numbers tumble on your spread sheet as you gleefully hit recalculate! Now you’re feeling like your monthly budget is being tested on a daily basis and you have a good 18 days until the next pay day (I counted). The beads of sweat start to form on your head and you feel a tinsy bit out of control again.

Today I have contemplated consolidating all my current debt into another 12 month loan, I’ve mmm and ahhh at ways of making the lifetime of my debt shorter, I’ve thought about extending it so I have more money per month (for what? I’m not even sure) and then I’ve come full circle and decided to stick with my current plan which is working for me right now.

Ultimately if I got given the whole sum off my debt today that I could pay off in one go I would. I don’t get any pleasure out of being in debt and after the REAL monthly necessities are paid for – rent- food- bills- I don’t have any desire for a fancy new bag or new shoes.

I just want to be cut from these emotionally strangling finance shackles so I can focus on the other things I really want in life.

ilovelondontown

I’m at a point this month where I’ve made good payments to all my dues, but I can’t really make any additional payments until I see what I have left the day before payday- at which point I might just reduce my overdraft a bit to make me feel like I’m making headway there too.

Because my debt busting actions are now stalled until payday, I’m feeling a bit panicky about my debts, which realistically there is no need to, they are all under control. I feel like someone is going to ring me and tell me off, or that the companies I owe money to are judging me!

I tried to give myself a psychological boost as I’m feeling a bit blugh about it all today so I pulled out my trusty debt spreadsheet and did some quick maths.

At the height of my debt I had £11,160 to pay back. By the end of this month it will be somewhere in the region of £4555, which means I’ll have paid back £6605 since November last year.

I know this sounds amazing, but the figure £4555 still looks like SO MUCH , too much L

Can anyone help me see what I’m missing here in my debt haze?

quidsy

You will do it. Don't get disheartened when you can't pay it all back as quickly as you want.

The fact that you reduced your danger from over 11k to 4.5k is a massive acheivement. I took 10k off my debt last year & even though I still have 21k to go I feel good to be doing somethign & to be focused on the most expensive ones first.

Finding & using a snowball calculator last year was my lightbulb moment, to think that by not paying off in the right order I was extending my debt by several years & had actually been paying off debt for years that, had I done it the right way, could have cleared already was so frustrating & red faced making.

I felt so stupid, it was so simple, yet the cloud of debt had made me "panic" pay everything a little bit each month. Just taking control of that was so empowering. And you have done that too.

You will be debt free, you will be able to move on with your life plan, it just takes a back seat to this but then you will be good to go.

ilovelondontown

Thank you quidsy, I definately panic pay things. Being in debt is such a draining experience, I just want to pay it off and move on with real life! You paying off £10K in a year is amazing! What is your debt free date?

It's a bit of mix bag for me at the moment. It's 11 days until pay day and I have about £130 to last me until then. All my Direct Debits are paid, I have my travel purchased, and I don't have any social plans this week or next, so I only need this money to cover me for food and household necessities. I feel like £130 is fine, but there is a bit of me that's worried that an "emergency" will come up before then (I rent so if it's house related it's the landlords problem not mine thankfully) I don't have a car or kids so I'm keeping everything crossed I make it to pay day without having to borrow money on a credit card or have an iou to anyone.

If I get to pay day without using my credit card to suppliment my income, it'll be the first month I've ever been able to do that since I got it 5 years ago now that has got to be a worthy debt free wannabe achievement!?

quidsy

You can def do it, £130 is a massive amount for one person for less than 2 weeks. I know what you mean about being worried for emergencies though, I do the same but figure, what I have paid off already on my cc can be used "in emergencies" if the emergency is critical enough.

My DF date is around Jan next year 2014, I will have all CC's, Tax man, Next account etc paid off with the bulk of the Lloyds loan paid off too but I have accounted for needing extra cash in December for Christmas & we are trying to get out to Thailand in October so am happy to extend the last payment on the LL till Jan or even Feb next year.

I want to keep my budget realistic, I have a tendancy to go over on my expectation so I have a personal budget, a food budget & a travel budget of £170 a week. I give £50 to my OH as he cooks most of the meals for him & our son & keep £30 for toiletries, cat food, my work lunches & extra dinner items I might need so have in total £80 a week as "my" money.

This is proving to be doable as long as I don't need to buy extras. The extras is why I have an additional 150-200 a month "spare" on the budget, for when we need non budget items or want a day off from MSEing.

ilovelondontown

I haven’t updated my DF diary for a while, mostly because taking such a microscopic look at my finances is too draining for me, but also because I’ve made a rather controversial decision and I’ve had to take a while to admit it to the DF community for fear of reprisal!

After much deliberation and discussions with my husband and a close friend, I’ve decided to pay back less to my debts for the next few months so I have more money to spend on well… living. I know some might disagree and say when you’re in debt you don’t “deserve” to be able to afford luxuries but since I’ve made such good progress with my debt and have surpassed the half way mark AND gone under £5k, I’ve re-evaluated my repayment plan and feel like extending the life time of my debt by about 3-4 months won’t change my life but having a life now will.

As I’m not on a debt management plan and I’m not on defaults with any of my payments and I’m still on target to pay off my loan by October (I have to repay that £400 a month regardless as part of the loan term) I don’t think this is such a dramatic thing.

After this loan the next biggest debt is my Next account and my credit card. My Next account will be cleared by September and my credit card will have about £1800 on it by October after which I can make additional payments I have been using to pay the loan. So like I say my debt free date will move from Nov/Dec 2013 to Feb/March 2014.

The main reason for deciding to do this I because I was being stretched to the absolute limit every month, and then there were little £10/£50 payments I forgot I’d have to make and it was making me miserable and frankly was making me resent this DF journey. I was saying no to meeting my friends for a coffee at one point and I felt like it was getting a bit extreme when it wasn’t necessary. I don’t have kids and I don’t have a car and we rent so domestic issues belong to the landlord.

As I’ve previously mentioned that the main reason for my LB moment was because I want to start a family soon and wanted to start one without any debt. That said regardless of the debt we wouldn’t be looking to start trying until the new year and I know once kids come along I can kiss goodbye to ever having a disposable income ever again-so while this all sound like excuses, I’m happy with my new look DF plan and I’m looking forward to a few more date nights with my (newish) husband, enjoying (potentially the last) summer of us being care free and still happy in the knowledge that my debt is still coming DOWN rather than going up!

quidsy

Do you know what, I agree with you, you still have to live your life & as long as you are happy with the plan then the choice is yours.

I want to get my 20+k debt down to at last £6k by the end of this year but I am still having a 2 week hols to Thailand in October (flights paid for with ppi claim) & a week to Cornwall in July. Yes, I COULD have used this money to lower my debts but I worked out that both will set my total DF date back back by 2-3 months & only on a 0% loan that doesn't technically finish until 2016, so why not.

I am all for being sensible & making educated & informed choices. You aren't increasing your debt but life isn't about depriving yourself to the point of depression in order to reach a debt free target imo.

ilovelondontown

Thanks Quidsy, it's not a decision I've made lightly, I just feel like I'm exisiting rather than enjoying a time in my life when I am free to be a bit selfish and have fun without it hurting anyone. Since I'm not on a DMP I feel like I can bend the rules a bit but the most important fact is that I'm not ADDING to my debt, it's still going down, I'm still avoiding the sales and avoiding temptation to splurge, I just need a bit more wiggle room!

My total debt by the end of November will be approx £1800 on my credit card and £500 for the outstanding loan of my laptop and sofa, which I may pay off in a lump sum, taking me in to 2014 with about £1600 to clear.

It sounds like your doing really well too! What's next on your hit list to get rid of?