The DF journey diary of ilovelondontown

ilovelondontown

Vital stats - because everyone likes to know who they are talking to:

Female
29
Born and bred, lives and works in London with husband of 5 months
Has a degree, debt and too much time on her hands.

So there, the boring stuff out the way.

Anyone who knows me will know I'm a fixator (word I made up)

I fixate on something and then one day from nowhere the fixation will just suddenly end, and is soon replaced with another one. Previous fixations have included; TV shows- such as Friends, One Born Every minute, Goodnight Sweetheart or things I 'want'; A 'new' car (still can't afford one), a house, to fall in love and to get married (did that one ) , and most recently have a family (this fixation won't go away!). So you get the idea.

The reason I'm pointing this out is because this is where my latest fixation has come from. My fixation to sort out my debt. It's screamingly obvious now I'm facing it, but I can't really have any of the things I want without money, and certainly having debt is harder still to get what I want.

So here I am, now a daily visitor to the DF pages of MSE, and I can't eat or sleep for thinking about sorting out my finances- literally.

Every time I buy food, I think, how can I make this cheaper? My mind is on overdrive on how to find the next money saving move- leading me to lie awake at night as my brain refuses to switch off. I should hate it, I should feel frustrated that this light bulb moment I have had recently had is taking up every 3 seconds of my thinking, but it's not, it's becoming exciting- the real possibility of sorting out my finances has become a reality, an achievable goal that I can reach in a not too shabby time frame of 12 months, and even in that 12 months I'll reach many milestones, one of my biggest debts will be paid off in October, one of my smallest debts is finishing this month!

I should point out that I appreciate my debts aren't crippling me - yet- the reason I want to take control now is so that this doesn't get out of control. In a way reading other people's struggles is inspiring me, I can see how easy it is to get that far in over your head, without really noticing and I refuse to let that happen to me. As FireWyrn so brutally pointed out in my original post on the forum:

“I can almost see your future mapped out. You will fall pregnant sooner or later, the child will be a burden but you'll 'manage' and 'scrape by' like the rest of us. Your debt will slowly grow over the years and in about 10 years, you'll be back with a debt of circa £40K wondering where the heck to start. Nip it in the bud now.”- Thanks again for that FireWyrn, brutal but necessary!

So without further ado, I wanted to outline my debts below, and to show how far I've already come.

ilovelondontown's debt breakdown:

Credit card- At highest £3200. Current £2800
Bank loan- At highest £4700. Currently £2319
Next Account - At highest £560. Currently £ 434
Bank of Dad- At highest £630. Currently £68 (to be paid off tomorrow!)
Sofas- At highest £1780. Currently £550
Laptop- At highest £550. Currently £220

When you add this up at one point I had around £11420 of debt hanging around my neck. It didn't seem that much at the time because they were all broken down in to monthly payments, spread out and added on as the months rolled by. I've always honored my debt, never missed a payment and on my biggest debts I make as bigger payment as I can per month to get it down quicker, so even before my fixation started I'd already begun to chip away at this, the difference is now, I'm not willing to add new debt to it like I would have done before. I'd almost reward myself with a new line of credit as the last one ended. What a rediculous train of thought!

So now here I am blogging away, I'm not even sure this would be interesting to anyone else reading it? Is it not a bit narcissistic? My DF date, all being well, would be when the last debt is due to be finished which is next June 2014.

Believe me I'm going to try every thing I can to bring that date up and if anyone wants me I'll be here, updating the stats as they come in, looking for advice when I go off the mark and celebrating my milestones with a glass of cyber champers which you are all welcome to help youself to.

If you got this far I don't know whether to thank you or apologise

frustrated12

I can relate to you so much, once I have got in my head that I want a new car, a new laptop or want to move, I can't think about anything else until it happens.

Keep posting on here, it will give you the motivation you need.

Good luck on your journey ��

Lyndsb12

Crikey, I could have been reading my own thoughts there. I am constantly thinking about paying off my debts which incidentally should be at the end of the year:j
Looking forward to your next installment

bigdog13

:T:THi, What a great read. Im just starting out myself and just want rid of the debt so can see where your coming from.
Looking forward to your next post and now subscribed

ilovelondontown

Many thanks to Frustrated 12, Lyndsb12 and bigdog13 for your feedback, feel free to chip in with your own thoughts, scribble all over my diary if you like!

Today is Pay Day. These beautiful, simple words are like music to my ears, or at least they used to be. When you’re in debt it’s more like, pay-off-more-debt-day.

Grrrreat (!)

For a few brief hours on pay day my bank account looks pretty happy, and then I drain it one debt at a time. From the way I pay my dues, anyone would think I was happily giving it away- (Sure! Have my hard earned cash, want some more? take it, help yourself!)

But the truth is, I do this on purpose, I want to settle my monthly debts quicker than you can say ‘overdraft’, because I know if I start thinking about it for too long, the devil on my shoulder will start piping up and justifying why I should pay less this month and I could extend my DF date, but honestly what is the point of dragging out this horrible process of having no money for the sake of having an extra hundred pounds in my bank account? The only justifiable reason for increasing the lifetime of a debt is because you have no choice. Not because you really really really want that night out/ new bag/ starbucks coffee. I’ve come to realise that the feeling I will get when I have financial freedom, will be worth more than ANY of those things and I can’t wait till I get to feel that.

It’s the fixator inside of me that is helping me cling on to that dream.

For now though I just have to slog on and take to heart that while my bank account is now, for all intent and purpose empty, I’m one step closer to that dream.

The latest stats for me are in:

ilovelondontown's debt breakdown:

Credit card- At highest £3200. [STRIKE]Current £2800 [/STRIKE]£2400
Bank loan- At highest £4700. [STRIKE]Currently £2319 [/STRIKE]£1980
Next Account - At highest £560. [STRIKE]Currently £ 434 [/STRIKE]£390
Bank of Dad- At highest £630. [STRIKE]Currently £68 [/STRIKE]PAID OFF WOOOOO HOOO! :beer:
Sofas- At highest £1780. [STRIKE]Currently £550 [/STRIKE]£511
Laptop- At highest £550. [STRIKE]Currently £220 [/STRIKE]£199


Happy Thursday everyone, keep up the good work, it’s nearly the bank holiday weekend

hallsy85

Great work on paying off the Dad loan - it's invigorating to get that cleared and off the list I bet!

You're making great progress I'm the same with payday - it's nice for about 20 minutes when I get into the office and my account's looking rosy, but then the feeling of paying chunks off what I owe and reducing my monthly outgoings feels almost as good!

Evcakes

Well done for paying off a debt, I feel worse when it's a family member that I owe.

Enjoy that feeling but now fixate on the next debt to go maybe the Next account?

Well done!

ilovelondontown

I think the weather in London today just about sums up my mood, wet, grey and downright miserable. I warn you now, I’m in a woe is me mood, I’m just waiting a moment while the pity violins strike up.

…

So what’s up?

Agreeing with yourself to take charge and control of your finances is an incredibly profound feeling, you move from a place of fear and worry to a place of assurance and hope for the future and I would encourage anyone who is in the same situation with their debt to take that dive into the deep and deal with it. I promise you the fear of dealing with it is WORSE than working out a way out.

However while that is true, I’m not going to lie, with your new found epiphany there is a huge overwhelming feeling. The feeling that you’re looking down a tunnel that you might not even be able to see the light at the other end yet and still you that while it is scary, once you get through the tunnel the other side is a place you might have never seen before. You’ve heard others talk about it and it’s somewhere you KNOW you want / need to be.

Now that I’ve taken on this challenge and I’ve set the ball in motion, turning back doesn’t seem like an option but at the same time I’m scared and nervous about how the journey to this promised land will go. Will I stick to my budgets? What if despite my best efforts I run out of money? What if hubby or I lose our jobs? What if this, what if that? It’s enough to make anyone want to run and hide until the last debt is paid, but it’s not an option.

Pity isn’t a great colour on me so I’m trying to work out ways to make myself feel better, I’ve decided to recap the positive steps I’ve taken so far:

1) I joined MSE and decided to do something about my debt and take some control back in my life
2) I cut up my credit card
3) I’ve got an annual travel card via work saving me £13 a month, £200 a year.
4) I’ve got my Sky package down from £53 to £30 a month and kept the Sky Sports for dear hubby!
5) I’ve cancelled a £12.49 internet package that I paid for, for my kid sister (She now largely uses her mobile for internet now) Saving £150 a year
6) I’ve paid off a £630 debt to my dad this month, freeing up around £70 a month going forward
7) I rounded off my payments to my credit card bill and Next account so they now sit at £2400 and £390 respectively
8) I put £25 a side with the hope that I’ll either have £750 built up in savings and or to pay off my overdraft.
9) I’ve got £50 worth of stuff being sent to music magpie- still haven’t decided where to place that yet. Definitely on to a debt maybe to cover off some apr fees.
10) I’ve worked out that I can cut my food Bill by shopping at Tesco/Asda over Waitrose and save myself £30 a week at least! And that’s without compromising on the food.

At their worse I had over £11K worth of credit cards, loans and store credits and now I’m down to £4.5k. There is still a way to go and I’m sure it won’t all be plain sailing, but it’s a step in the right direction isn’t it?

The question now of course is what else can I do to move forward being DF? Suggestions on a postcard please….

ilovelondontown

It occoured to me yesterday that while it's nice to pay off all the debt at the same time and to see the scary numbers coming down to eventually 0 I'm starting to wonder if I should pay off my debts one at a time instead?

For example if I make smaller payments on my credit card and use the money I would usually have for that to pay off other things- I could pay off my Next account in June, My laptop in July, my sofas in august and the loan in September. I could then focus on just paying off my credit card and won't even have any direct debits coming out every month.

Psychologically I think this will help me remain focused and will give me the incentive to keep going even when I might lose sight of my goal to become debt free.

Just a short diary entry today, I'm trying to make sure I have days "off" thinking about money, and when it's so lovely outside, I think we should all try and enjoy the life we have, regardless of our current financial status.

ilovelondontown

I really must learn to put the MSE website down before I go to bed of an evening, last night I had all my money saving thoughts swimming around my head and it didn't make for a very settled sleep. I kept waking up in a cold sweat thinking, I need to pay my credit card bill! (even though I have this month!) and I woke up feeling shattered today! That’ll teach me for going all ‘superwoman’ on this debt. I’m going to have to learn to pace myself, short of a windfall or lottery win- I don’t play- then I’m going to have to realise this will take time.

Having checked all the payments and my bank account this morning just to be sure I hadn’t missed anything, I went on with my day. I’ve become quite liberated by the fact that I can walk past a shop with a big red SALE sign and can ignore a “25% off!” email, I just simply say to myself I can’t afford it and I’m filled with relief and pride that I can do that now without a second flinch. Yay me! Another small moral victory in the fight to become DF! :T

However, I did get a rather emotionally charged email from a friend who says I’m being rude and ignoring her requests to meet up at the moment. It took a long email back to explain that I’m not doing it purposefully and that life is just really busy at the moment, I also mentioned that money is a big factor and I said she is welcome to come to mine any time, and I’d cook, but she still seems bemused by my sudden lack of willingness to use the credit I have at my disposal - “We’ve all got overdrafts and credit cards, what’s the problem?” – At which point I feel like she doesn’t believe what I’m saying at all.

So there you have it, another hurdle in the DFW life, other people trying to get you to spend. Hadn’t realised that might be one! I feel terrible that I can’t be so frivolous with my credit card anymore and paint the town red like we used to, but I know it’s the right thing to do, has anyone else come up against a similar problem with wealthier friends? How did you deal with it?

Bobarella

Hello

I feel for you having a 'friend' like that. To be honest, I had a similar situation with a friend of mine in the last few days. Sometimes its so hard when people try and 'guilt' you into behaving like nothing has changed. But it has, for you.

Good luck and hang in there.

Bob