Divorce :/

zoeholt

I am 24 years old, 25 in a few months, and my husband left me a few days before christmas last year.
It wasnt a good time, we always fight about money, he did stupid things with money and is continuing to do so now he doesnt live here.
He keeps saying he wants to work it out, but he always ruins it e.g he owes me 800 quid. He lost his job, didnt tell me until a few days before i pay my bills, 2 months later, he hasn't paid me all of it.
Hes back living with his mum, im on my own looking after a 2 year old.
I asked for the court to send me divorce papers, its free at the moment, but only if he agrees, and they have arrived, and I keep giving him too many chances, but I feel a bit sick at the thought of filling them out.
I cant physically do any more to make this work, he constantly lets me down, every single week with one thing or another.
I dont know what advice I want, just more people to tell me I am doing the right thing I think.

RAS

Do you have any joint bank accounts or other accounts?

zoeholt

RAS wrote: »

Do you have any joint bank accounts or other accounts?

we did have a join account but i took him off that a few months ago. he kept taking money out of it, its money for bills -_-

BitterAndTwisted

I think you are doing completely the right thing. He sounds a complete waste of space. Sign those papers!

zoeholt

i feel a bit stupid. I have always been too old for my age, and getting married young was a stupid and completely non me thing to do!

I have resigned myself to the rest of my life alone lol and thats whats stopping me

floss2

zoeholt wrote: »

i feel a bit stupid. I have always been too old for my age, and getting married young was a stupid and completely non me thing to do!

I have resigned myself to the rest of my life alone lol and thats whats stopping me

Don't be negative about it - think of the good things like you will ALWAYS know exactly how much money you have, you don't have to worry about anyone else apart from yourself, you can spend as long as you like in the bathroom without making anyone else late for work, AND you get the duvet all to yourself!

Seriously though, you are almost 25, yes you have wasted a few years on someone that wasn't the right one for you, but who knows what (or who) is around the next corner. I split up from my kids' dad in late 1999, met my lovely DH in Feb 2003 (on t'internet!) and we married in 2010. We've both previously had long-term relationships, but are as happy together as pigs in muck

Oh, and at my next birthday I'll be twice the age you'll be at your next birthday, so there's hope for you yet!

BitterAndTwisted

zoeholt wrote: »

i feel a bit stupid. I have always been too old for my age, and getting married young was a stupid and completely non me thing to do!

I have resigned myself to the rest of my life alone lol and thats whats stopping me

He's ended up back living with Mummy and contributes FA to your family-income so you're already running your life alone. Total autonomy plus a little nipper: what's not to like?

paulineb_2

zoeholt wrote: »

I am 24 years old, 25 in a few months, and my husband left me a few days before christmas last year.
It wasnt a good time, we always fight about money, he did stupid things with money and is continuing to do so now he doesnt live here.
He keeps saying he wants to work it out, but he always ruins it e.g he owes me 800 quid. He lost his job, didnt tell me until a few days before i pay my bills, 2 months later, he hasn't paid me all of it.
Hes back living with his mum, im on my own looking after a 2 year old.
I asked for the court to send me divorce papers, its free at the moment, but only if he agrees, and they have arrived, and I keep giving him too many chances, but I feel a bit sick at the thought of filling them out.
I cant physically do any more to make this work, he constantly lets me down, every single week with one thing or another.
I dont know what advice I want, just more people to tell me I am doing the right thing I think.

Im not going to sit and tell you you are doing the right thing, or not

Only you can decide that. If you want to give it one last go, get to some counselling together.

People can be less than perfect but you obviously loved him enough to marry him and have his kid and sometimes people are useless with cash and more

But I wouldnt end a marriage based on what people on a forum say unless things were extremely abusive

Talk to him, either with someone as a go between or not

Then make your decision, its a life changing one and you want to know its the right one

BitterAndTwisted

It's not in her power to prolong the marriage or make a go of anything. He left her and their child before Christmas. That's when their relationship ended. He's lost his job, so isn't able to support them at present. If she took him back, even if she wanted to and she hasn't said so or even hinted at it, she'd have two ruddy dependents and not just the one she has now. I can't read any pining for her true love between the lines.

Sign the papers and get it done, angel.

zoeholt

oh its definitely past talking lol. I have been putting up with his money issues for about 2 years. He does pay for our daughter, way more than I would get if it went through the CSA, and hes not the kind of person to stop that. I have a feeling his mum might try and tell him to make it less, but she can get lost :P

zoeholt

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

It's not in her power to prolong the marriage or make a go of anything. He left her and their child before Christmas. That's when their relationship ended. He's lost his job, so isn't able to support them at present. If she took him back, even if she wanted to and she hasn't said so or even hinted at it, she'd have two ruddy dependents and not just the one she has now. I can't read any pining for her true love between the lines.

Sign the papers and get it done, angel.

he got another job not long after he left his job, but paid back his mum and his cousin the money he borrowed while he wasn't working, before he paid me my money. His mum and his cousin are quite well off, I am not.

Haha no I'm not pining for him, we were going to keep trying to make it work, but I cant possibly do any more to help, its all him