Should I cover my baldiehead?

lostinrates

Tropez wrote: »

Those "Cancer you're a prat" adverts on now, while no doubt well meaning, would likely have caused me to destroy a television or three back then due to how engulfed in darkness I was.

I would just like to say it isn't just you who reacts badly to those adverts. I have lost no one very close to cancer, though two close family members have had cancer. But those adverts really, really frustrate me and have the opposite impact on me. They make me feel the fight is futile and I find them profoundly depressing and rather idiotic, like a mouthy, cocky kid in a playground who mouths of but inevitably gets a walloping anyway. I really, really, detest those adverts.

Hermia

OP - do what you want. You won't feel comfortable unless you do. People may be shocked at first, but I am sure they would soon get used to it and admire you.

lostinrates wrote: »

I would just like to say it isn't just you who reacts badly to those adverts. I have lost no one very close to cancer, though two close family members have had cancer. But those adverts really, really frustrate me and have the opposite impact on me. They make me feel the fight is futile and I find them profoundly depressing and rather idiotic, like a mouthy, cocky kid in a playground who mouths of but inevitably gets a walloping anyway. I really, really, detest those adverts.

I am soooo glad I am not the only one who wants to throw the tele out of the window. I have had my parents and grandparents all die at a relatively young age from cancer and those adverts make me want to scream. I have never understood why cancer adverts are so different from other illness adverts even thoough there are other illnesses which are just as devastating to patients and loved ones.

CH27

lostinrates wrote: »

I would just like to say it isn't just you who reacts badly to those adverts. I have lost no one very close to cancer, though two close family members have had cancer. But those adverts really, really frustrate me and have the opposite impact on me. They make me feel the fight is futile and I find them profoundly depressing and rather idiotic, like a mouthy, cocky kid in a playground who mouths of but inevitably gets a walloping anyway. I really, really, detest those adverts.

I loathe them too.

OP do whatever makes you feel comfortable.

Tropez

lostinrates wrote: »

I would just like to say it isn't just you who reacts badly to those adverts. I have lost no one very close to cancer, though two close family members have had cancer. But those adverts really, really frustrate me and have the opposite impact on me. They make me feel the fight is futile and I find them profoundly depressing and rather idiotic, like a mouthy, cocky kid in a playground who mouths of but inevitably gets a walloping anyway. I really, really, detest those adverts.

I don't react as badly to them now as I would have were they around back then, but I wholeheartedly agree. I've sponsored a few women taking part in the Race for Life, not because of those adverts, but because I believe it is the right thing to do. I just hope none of my donations go towards making more of those adverts!

Maybe it's the way my brain is wired but they do strike me as futile - cancer isn't a sentient being, it can't hear you and it cannot be intimidated. A bunch of people sounding off with their call to arms accompanied by "Kill Me if You Dare" is futile. Cancer will kill more and more people until the scientists find a way to stop it. I understand that Cancer Research UK has justification to maintain a public image in order to maintain the donations it receives but I do hate to think that money given to stop this disease is partly spent on TV spots that evoke little more than a "Really?" response from me.

There have been breakthroughs in combating cancer and honestly, I'd rather a TV spot were dedicated to highlighting what has already been done and what could be done in the future if we keep on giving and supporting.

fireyfirenze

I'm doing a college course at the moment (all the students are over 25 ) and our tutor had also just come back to work after suffering with breast cancer. She wore headscarves at first but often took them off halfway through the lesson as her hair was growing back and she said they were hot and itchy. None of us batted an eyelid. I say do whatever you feel comfortable with

valk_scot

Re scaring the students...my DS lost his hair during chemo between the ages of five and seven. He wore a hat in the street because he didn't like people looking at him but in school he just went bare up top. The other kids took it all in their stride and actually thought it rather cool, like a somewhat extreme buzz cut.

Best laugh though was when the school was having one of it's regular (back then) Bug Busting weeks, when all the kids got issued with a pack containing a head lice comb and a timetable for us to condition/comb our kids hair three times that week. His teacher came to the gate to speak to me looking very embarassed about this, she hadn't wanted to leave DS out because the pack also had stickers and you could get a badge at the end but still, any nit that was on DS's head must have been into extreme sports, he was bald as they come at that point. He didn't care though, he just wanted the stickers! So I polished him up with a blob of conditioner three times and ticked the boxes, lol. Black humour, sure, but it shows how very resiliant kids are if you're straightforwards with them.

You'll be a three day wonder at school I would think, then after that the kids will look upon your head as deeply cool and also with respect. I think your OH is very wrong, hiding the signs of your treatment as if it were somehow scarey and shamefull...well, it's wrong, that's all. The more upfront we are about these things the less scary they become imho, it's the shameful whispers in corners we have to get rid of.

whitewing

I hate those adverts too - imagine how much distress it must cause if someone didn't beat cancer. Sometimes bad stuff happens to good people and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. I read Gloria Hunniford's book about her daughter and the relentless search for the miracle cure becoming all-consuming.

However, my friend had breast cancer 5 years ago, her hair is soft and fluffy now and she's had the all-clear since her chemo and masectomy. She was really delighted last year to meet someone who'd had pretty much exactly the same treatment who has been cancer free for 10 years.

I think most people would be fine about a bald head; it can be quite beautiful on some women (Sinead O'Connor). I do wonder if you are completely considering how upsetting it is for your husband though. In my experience, husbands are often chilled out about most things so the fact that he feels strongly may mean that the diagnosis has scared him more than you are realising/allowing him to feel. Perhaps he is going through a similar anger to the user above.

Murtle

Go with whatever you feel comfortable with and be prepared to answer questions if your students want to ask. Being open and honest about things, could help others. Just be mindfull that some may get upset by it, but it could be the opening they need in order to talk to someone real about a current situation.

Though a different reason (alopecia) Joanna Rowsell stands proudly with no hair. I don't think you need to be an Olympic winner to be in the same position.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/olympics/cycling/9095307/London-2012-Olympics-GB-cycling-champion-Joanna-Rowsell-reveals-how-alopecia-spurred-her-to-gold-success.html

Edited to add: those adverts get switched off, I think they are really dreadful.

snozberry

My mum had breast cancer and was a primary school teacher. She didn't like her wig or false boob so she wore neither to work. Her head wrote a lovely letter to the parents when she had her initial diagnosis and was off so everyone knew.

The children were fine and the parents were incredibly supportive. In fact, the parents made a huge donation to the hospital when she died. The only trouble mum had was that the children (from all year groups) had a fascination with stroking her bald head!

Mum did what was best for her so I suggest that you do what is best for you.

As a side issue, not that it matters or anything but mum had worked there for 20+ years and had taught many of the parents when they were children.

DaftyDuck

Over 30 years ago I remember a new teacher (male) in school, rather shy, quiet, with a wig, which didn't match. Much laughter and disrespect. Further rapid hair loss, and he stopped wearing it. He was using a stick soon afterwards, and losing weight. I can't remember if this was cancer, but I do remember he was very ill for some time. But kept teaching, quietly and very well. No laughter (at him) or disrespect. Huge respect from children, parents and staff. I remember only a handful of good teachers, and it's his good teaching I mainly remember (and the wig, if I'm honest )

So, whatever you do (and do whatever you want), I'd suggest you briefly tell your horde why you are doing it, and then plough on.

It really shouldn't matter.