Panic - Family Wedding abroad!!

Nottoobadyet

cutestkids wrote: »

As an aside I think the current trend for getting married or having a hen or stag do abroad is a bit selfish, the bride expects that her close family and friends will go but in many cases it is just not possible.

Normally I agree but not in case like that in the OP - its entirely reasonable for them to get married in the groom's homeland, after all it was one or the other side getting left out. If he is from a poorer country or has a notably larger family, it makes even more sense this way.

By the same turn, of course, they need to be understanding when members of her family cant make it.

timetogrowup89

butler_helen wrote: »

£3900 per couple (seriously) Maldives wedding!

OMG!! I would be mortified even sending out the invite to that... hehe

Out,_Vile_Jelly

If you make the decision to marry abroad then you have to accept that many people will not be able to make it (not just for finances, it affects annual leave, and people with medical conditions or young children). Sensible couples will have another do at home.

You can't hide your debt forever; you're going to have to get used to saying No to expensive family outings. Be honest with your sister and offer to help organise a do in the UK.

[Deleted User]

Have to say I agree with the majority here.

Given your current debt, it would be crazy to take on another £2,000 of debt, and doubly so, when you are about to reduce your earnings.

DS4215

Sit down, calculate exactly how much it is going to cost to go and how long you have to save up. Then break it down. If the costs are £2000 and you have 50 weeks, then that is £40 per week that you have to bring in on top of whatever you are paying to your debts when your budget is agreed.

£40 per week comes out about £6 per day. Could you get a bar job or something else part-time that could get you the money. Even if you only do it to pay for the wedding trip?

If you *can* find a way to bring in the money *then* you can save up and go to see your sisters wedding. When you get back you can always carry on and use the extra to pay off your debts. If you can't then you have to be honest now and tell her so you can arrange something special together to celebrate it that does not cost anywhere near as much.

Gigglepig

£6 a day sounds like a good plan. I think it sounds more daunting that you are planning to lower your income with that amount of debt, than saving up for this special event. Have you considered doing open uni on top of a full time job instead?

Florida2013

I wouldn't go and didn't go to my sister's wedding when she got married aborad. We couldn't afford it; she knew that and still decided to get married abroad.

If you're insistent on going, you should consider going by yourself and without your OH or children (if you have any).

At the end of the day you just can't afford it.

harrys_dad

FlipFlop23 wrote: »

but its my sister, i really dont want to miss it!

"Want" not "need" is what got most people on here into debt in the first place, probably including you.

You are £30000 in debt, you are reducing your income (why is this a priority?), and you still "want" to spend money you cannot afford.

Sorry if this sounds harsh but you are not really being very sensible, more like someone who does not understand their situation.

FlipFlop23

harrys_dad wrote: »

"Want" not "need" is what got most people on here into debt in the first place, probably including you.

This certainly made me think, and cry, because you are right, doesn't make it any easier though!!

I keep saying Uni is the best and worst decision of my life, in the short time not good, in the long term really good, maybe deferring it is an idea? Will see what the lady from CAP suggests.

I think i will try a combination of your suggestions, going to set up savings of £3 a week by SO into an account i cant see, and then see if i can get family help, i think if i have made an effort they might be more willing to help, rather than me just take from them.....

who knows, all i know is its going to be emotional!!

Thanks for the support!

redmel1621

I missed my sisters wedding because she got married in Scotland. There was just no way we could afford it, as a family of 6.
I have no problem with people marrying wherever they like, but I do have a problem with them putting pressure on others to attend.

I think it would be silly to spend that much money on watching someone get married! I don't necessarily think it is a silly idea to become a student, as for deferring, you would be deferring a hell of a long time if you are going to wait until you are debt free! In your situation you need to start putting yourself and your family first. Get your debt down, get yourself qualified and live a happy stress-free life. Watching your sister get married(as nice as it might be, it is one day!) will not help you achieve any of that.