New to the site

Isthereawayout

Hey there,

I am new to this site, but have read the emails off and on for a while.

I am about £15,000 in debt with credit cards and I just feel so desperate, I cannot see an end to the this debt, on top of this I have a daughter who is at Uni and is short £1,000 for accommodation fees. I had a little saved so I can pay off £600 of that, now I am worried sick on how to get the other £400.

I am working 7 days a week for extra cash to help pay off extra payments on credit cards but I find that "things" come up and take that money away.

Like I said I am working 2 jobs 7 days a week and doing a part time degree myself, my husbands over time has been cut so we are £400 down every month too.

I would really love to hear other people's advice and help and if anyone knows where I can get extra funding for uni costs it would be great. (she has had a payment from the hardship fund already!!)

Thank you in anticipation

N

moohound

Hi, Welcome to DFW

Best thing to do is post an SOA which details your income and outgoings.

Are all the debts in your name, or does your husband have some too, it's best to look at the overall household situation.

If there is not enough income to cover the payments it might be an idea to speak to a debt charity like StepChange or CAP.

Working 7 days a week plus study is not good for your health in the long term, so this needs sorting.

There will be a solution, it won't be quick or easy,but it can be done.

[Deleted User]

First - well done for coming to the site. Although when I first came here many years ago we were not in a worrying level of debt, the advice on this site and in Martin's book The Money Diet really made me think about what money is and how to use it properly - for your advantage, not the advantage of companies and banks.

Second - the SOA is a great idea.

Third - the sooner you start, the faster it works. We went for the big ticket items in the book first - mortgage, gas, elec, home phone/internet, insurances, mobiles - changes to these can save hundreds and hundreds a year. My favourite early hit was to stop using the coffee machine and canteen at work (and take in my own coffee and packed lunches - I didn't starve!) and I stopped buying a (relatively expensive) daily paper. Say 2 x 1 quid coffee + 1 x 2.50 lunch + 1 x 1 quid paper = 5.50 per day, or easily 100+ quid a month. Some of my colleagues spent considerably more than that, yet often complained about being hard up.This site changes mindsets - it certainly changed mine!

Fourth - don't be afraid to give quite detailed questions - there are so many folk on this site who are experts in their fields so you will be able to get straightforward answers to just about anything. I have recommended this site to many people and will continue to do so.

Good luck!

WR

ilovelondontown

Hello, welcome, welcome, I'm new here too and already feel like just coming to the site has helped me refocus my stresses with Money, so even if you feel overwhelmed, it's a great place to start.

I wanted to just make a point about the University rent issue your daughter is having. Universities are obligated to help out when students are in finanical difficulity and it's almost certain she can get a bridging loan from the student advice team on campus. If you can offer up assistance with some of the funds this will help also, so encourage your daughter to seek advice locally, as borrowing from the University is almost g'teed to be the cheapest way of getting a loan and a repayment plan for the borrowing is highly flexible.

iolanthe07

Could your daughter get a part-time job while at university? My daughter did bar work in the evenings and graduated debt-free.

Isthereawayout

She has a part time job which is great, but she only has a few hours per week and what she does earn she spends on alcohol and clothes!! Not great and I have explained to her that I just cannot afford to keep paying and next year will just have to be different.

I hope she listens, it is my fault really I bail her out all the time because I did not have any money growing up and I just want her to do well.

I know I know I need to address this and stick to it as it is me that is suffering.

Isthereawayout

What is an SOA, I know it will be something important, guessing lots in my head!!

moohound wrote: »

Hi, Welcome to DFW

Best thing to do is post an SOA which details your income and outgoings.

Are all the debts in your name, or does your husband have some too, it's best to look at the overall household situation.

If there is not enough income to cover the payments it might be an idea to speak to a debt charity like StepChange or CAP.

Working 7 days a week plus study is not good for your health in the long term, so this needs sorting.

There will be a solution, it won't be quick or easy,but it can be done.

elsien

Isthereawayout wrote: »

She has a part time job which is great, but she only has a few hours per week and what she does earn she spends on alcohol and clothes!! Not great and I have explained to her that I just cannot afford to keep paying and next year will just have to be different.
.

Why wait till next year?

moohound

SOA is a statement of affairs, it shows income, outgoings, debts and assests. It is helpful in highlighting areas to save in, gaps in benefits claims and costs of debts so they can be prioritised.

Go here:-

http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php

Then fill it all in and then press the MSE tab where it says format for discussion boards, then we can have a look and help you more

bouncydog1

Isthereawayout wrote: »

She has a part time job which is great, but she only has a few hours per week and what she does earn she spends on alcohol and clothes!! Not great and I have explained to her that I just cannot afford to keep paying and next year will just have to be different.

I hope she listens, it is my fault really I bail her out all the time because I did not have any money growing up and I just want her to do well.

I know I know I need to address this and stick to it as it is me that is suffering.

Is your daughter a fresher? Year 2 students tend to settle down as they have so much more work. When she comes home or the summer you need to be honest with her and tell her that her allowance from you has to be cut because you simply do not have the money.

When does she need the accommodation money? Is it for 2 nd year digs - deposit and 2 months rent? Have you seen the contract to find out payment due dates as these will all be set out.

Please do not worry - post up your SOA and we will try to help. It would also be a good idea to get your daughter's budget details as well. If she objects a reminder that you are supporting her in part and are entitled to see where her money s going.

DD gets a weekly allowance and manages food, petrol, books, fares, parking etc and still manages to save by being very careful. Nights out in 2 nd year have dropped from several a week to a few a term!!

Your daughter is an adult and needs to act as such!!

foxgloves

This may sound a little hard, but I also first started getting into debt at university, when I was aged 19. I spent money on everything I wanted, including the alcohol & clothes you mention. I never did any budgeting & always lived outside my means. My parents bailed me out 4 or 5 times, not vast amounts, but a few hundred pounds here & there when I was in (self-inflicted) difficulty. With hindsight, i can see that the bailouts, while so very welcome at the time, didn't help me face up to my responsibilities as an adult & the overspending behaviour continued into my working life & in fact, as you can see from my signature, I didn't actually become debt-free till May 2011......that's after continous debt of some kind or another for 28 years!! Would the short sharp shock of running out of funds at Uni have made me change my behaviour earlier? It's impossible to say, but I think it probably would, as I'd have simply had no choice but to accept that I could not continue to fritter money away because there'd have been no-one to sub me when things got bad. So while I can understand you wanting to help your daughter out, if it is largely self-inflicted through her failure to budget, you may well not be helping her in the long term. Learning the difference between a 'need' & a 'want' would have been so useful for me at that stage.