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Isthereawayout

I know I have to stop bailing her out, it will not help her in the long run, but I feel bad.

BUT it has to stop as I cannot keep working 7 days a week for support this and I am tired all the time

The accommodation fees where for this year, I transferred that to her today, now I have not savings what so ever, and that is scary.

She is home first week in June so that will save me money. I have spoken to her many times and she tells me that she feels bad asking for money but she only asks when she really needs it.

I have already paid the deposit for her 2nd year digs which is in a house. The money is for the halls.

I told her to apply for a hardship fund which she got £600 thank the lord, so I had to pay another £1000.

I will do a SOA this week, working all day tomorrow

I have also bought the "Money Diet" book by Martin Lewis so will work through that too,

Thank you all so much for your help and advice, it takes a little off my mind xx

sharp910sh

Isthereawayout wrote: »

I know I have to stop bailing her out, it will not help her in the long run, but I feel bad.

BUT it has to stop as I cannot keep working 7 days a week for support this and I am tired all the time

The accommodation fees where for this year, I transferred that to her today, now I have not savings what so ever, and that is scary.

She is home first week in June so that will save me money. I have spoken to her many times and she tells me that she feels bad asking for money but she only asks when she really needs it.

I have already paid the deposit for her 2nd year digs which is in a house. The money is for the halls.

I told her to apply for a hardship fund which she got £600 thank the lord, so I had to pay another £1000.

I will do a SOA this week, working all day tomorrow

I have also bought the "Money Diet" book by Martin Lewis so will work through that too,

Thank you all so much for your help and advice, it takes a little off my mind xx

I think you need to man up, realise that you shouldn't be giving her money when you do not have money yourself. If she is wasting her money on booze and clothes tell her you will not give her any money if she spends like she is rich. Simple. If she asks for money tell her no. You need to have a serious talk with her and tell her you are working 7 days a week and have no money. She is a woman now, she is at university she must realise that she is responsible for her own life and spending.

I beg you, not to keep giving her money, while you work 7 days a week and she goes out and party. Do not feel bad that you couldn't give her every she wanted as a child, thats life. Now she can get stop spending erratically and for you not to give her money. Simple. I hope you tell her this and do not give her all your money. I mean come on now you have no savings, what will you do when you need to spend money on something. You are £15k in debt, that's a lot of money, yet you are giving your savings away...

Building_Surveyor

Isthereawayout wrote: »

She has a part time job which is great, but she only has a few hours per week and what she does earn she spends on alcohol and clothes!! Not great and I have explained to her that I just cannot afford to keep paying and next year will just have to be different.

I hope she listens, it is my fault really I bail her out all the time because I did not have any money growing up and I just want her to do well.

I know I know I need to address this and stick to it as it is me that is suffering.

Sorry with that attitude I would let her sort it herself. What was her original plan about paying her for accommodation? Does she know about your debts?

Your struggling yourself. How much is this going to teach her if the bank of mom is always there to bail her out when she's not been responsible herself.

Apologies for been blunt but she's in the big wide world now and by the sounds of it needs to grow up. Concentrate on sorting your debts out. Spending what savings you had you might live to regret. But I hope this is the start of you moving forward, you've started in a good place.

Ive never been in debt so can't really offer advice on that front but wish you the best on your journey to being debt free. And time to get harsh with your daughter methinks!

Isthereawayout

Thank you all for your kind/blunt words, I can do blunt, you are not telling me anything I do not know but it is good to read in black and white. I will endeavour to do a SOA this evening, first night off in ages!!

Isthereawayout

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 4
Number of children in household.........
Number of cars owned.................... 4
Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1129
Partners monthly income after tax....... 2008
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 216.55
Total monthly income.................... 3353.55
Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 632.98
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 124
Electricity............................. 62.27
Gas..................................... 0
Oil..................................... 100
Water rates............................. 43
Telephone (land line)................... 32.77
Mobile phone............................ 72.46
TV Licence.............................. 12.12
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 26
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 125
Clothing................................ 50
Petrol/diesel........................... 180
Road tax................................ 25.42
Car Insurance........................... 20.27
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 4.15
Car parking............................. 3
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 55
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 83.33
Haircuts................................ 10
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Tools................................... 200
Total monthly expenses.................. 1861.77

Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 250000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 7000
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 257000

No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts
Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Credit Card....................1700......26........0
Credit Card....................3806......62........0
Credit Card....................4600......100.......0
Total unsecured debts..........10106.....188.......-

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 3,353.55
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,861.77
Available for debt repayments........... 1,491.78
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 188
Amount left after debt repayments....... 1,303.78
Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 257,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -10,106
Net Assets.............................. 246,894
[

moohound

What is the £200 for tools a month.

Food budget seems low for 4 adults at £125.

You have put down rent, but own a £250000 house outright, bit confused.

The unsecured debt does not look as bad as you first thought at £10000 rather than £15000.

flyinggiraffe_2

Hiya, I don't normally offer advice on these things but can I check you've put the cars down correctly?

It says you have 4 cars, but the Tax, insurance and fuel is quite low. Is this right? If so, do you really need 4 cars?

Isthereawayout

One daughter at uni and the other spends a lot of time at her boyfriends, so I give her her child benefit to support herself, but when she is hope obviously I cater for her!

Yep realised when I saved it about mortgage, so our mortgage is £632, definitely do not own it outright!!

I thought I had another credit card, need to look harder for that one!!

Husband is a mechanic and buys tools and pays weekly, the tools are guaranteed through the people he buys them through and they come to him rather than the hassle of running around and finding receipts.

Isthereawayout

flyinggiraffe wrote: »

Hiya, I don't normally offer advice on these things but can I check you've put the cars down correctly?

It says you have 4 cars, but the Tax, insurance and fuel is quite low. Is this right? If so, do you really need 4 cars?

One car is mine so I pay fully for it, one is oldest daughters she pays for all running costs etc, third car is youngest and we pay for all outgoings, forth is husbands he uses it at weekends because he has a work van.

I have dyscalculia so some of the figures may be muddled up!!:)!!