facebash and family

top_drawer_2

hello

I've been online for years and recently close family have been going on about us being "friends" online. I live away from the small town I grew up in and have a different life than what I tend to have at home.

I'm not keen as it means that family can see everything but they keep going on and on (and on and on) about it. I know I am missing out on stuff as they seem to put everything online but don't communicate very well i.e when I telephone home each week and ask whats been happening they say Oh you know not much ..... its only when I'm here that I get to find out about the trophy my nephew got last week, a minor skirmish my sister got into and pics of her new pet etc.

Thing is I've been saying that I'm not online, then that I don't use it ... truth is I've had a facebash account for years and all my work colleagues are online/have a range of friends and am involved in some "alternative" groups which my family would be unimpressed with ....

Is there a way for me to block their access? To restrict it to them only seeing more recent stuff? And none of the groups I'm in? Plus block them from seeing too much info on my friends - I don't want them getting involved in the gossip with my work colleagues. In fact is there a way I can reinvent a second profile just for them?

dragonette

Hey top drawer,

I think I would set up a second profile with a new email. I know several people who do this with f*cebook or similar, for unconventional/alternative lifestyles. Def seems safer than hoping some update won't re-open old posts or change privacy settings. Make sure you have email notifications from the family profile, then you know what's going on

Not sure if that's the answer you want, but its only way I know of to keep the two sides totally separate.

marisco_2

Quite honestly I would keep your family and your private life completely seperate. Communicate with them face to face, over the phone, by email, text etc. To be considering ways to restrict and block their access to what they can see, confirms to me how uncomfy you feel about adding them to your fb account.

top_drawer_2

Yep but they keep going on about it .... and I having a quick look at my Mum's I can see that there are loads of photographs on there that I havent got and they have put statuses on that I don't know anything about ....

How would I go about making a second profile look genuine?

dragonette

If they believe that you don't use it at all, it can look really empty and boring (at least to start with). Tell them you only want family on it, and stick to that. Put up a few innocent pics every so often, comment on their new stuff every few days/once a week and you're done

Tell them you're not comfortable with putting your workplace on etc, and that its only to keep in touch with them. Keeps you in the loop, without giving away all your info. Just make sure you don't have ppl on both of them, or it may come unstuck.

HTH

meritaten

why not just stick to 'sorry - I don't want an effbook account'? I got one because family and friends said I should. but de-activated it months ago because of the sheer carp and banality! I really don't want to know if my DDs MIL has gone up a level in a game. or read the beetching and backbiting! Just say NO! OH and the constant 'friend' requests from complete strangers? I said no to them too. and the real friends? well, sometimes they got a bit !!!!!! and you find out who your real friends are. I think effbook is a place well avoided.

tealady

Meritaten, you said exactly what I feel (and put it a million times better)

chocdonuty

Easy peasy, just put those who you don't want to see much into the 'restricted' group and have a fiddle with your privacy settings so that restriced people only see certain things. My restriced people are my ex's family so they can't see my statuses or many of my photos.
I've also put friends in groups:
Close friends for those I see in real life and would tell them anything I'd put on there anyway, they see all of it
Acquantances for those who I know but not seen for a while so they don't see as much.
Work, obvious really!
Unamed- I've hidden statuses from a certain person and her friends as I'm fed up of her picking at them so what she can't see she can't slag off
It takes a little while and needs looking at occasionally but well worth it

Hermia

top_drawer wrote: »

Yep but they keep going on about it .... and I having a quick look at my Mum's I can see that there are loads of photographs on there that I havent got and they have put statuses on that I don't know anything about ....

How would I go about making a second profile look genuine?

Why do you need to make it look genuine? I have an account purely so that I can access friend's photos or any other material they want me to look at. I don't post on the account or use it for anything else. Everyone knows this so they don't expect me to start posting on it.

peachyprice

top_drawer wrote: »

Yep but they keep going on about it .... and I having a quick look at my Mum's I can see that there are loads of photographs on there that I havent got and they have put statuses on that I don't know anything about ....

How would I go about making a second profile look genuine?

If they think you don't have an account already they wouldn't expect to see much on there.

If you really want to appease them, start up a new profile with a new email address and start putting stuff on there you don't mind them seeing.

It would look very peculiar to them if there was suddenly loads of stuff on your profile after you've told them time and time again that you don't use is, so i don't really understand why you would need to 'make it look genuine'. It will be genuine, but only stuff you want to share with them.

They'll be none the wiser that you have another persona out there and will just think that you are boring

top_drawer_2

I agree re all the rubbish that gets posted. There is a variety of family who botch about other family .... I don't care about most of it, dislike getting game requests etc. I particularly hate that its all so public .... Like my cousin is "friends" with my sister and they both work at the same place ... Other colleagues are also online too and are constantly hitching or oversharing on their statuses .... It can't be changed once its out there but they all seem oblivious to it.


I'm more thinking along theine of showing stuff going back awhile ... The odd friend etc as I am supposed to have an account. My real one is very secure; their emails are blocked etc to make sure they can't find me.