Couples Counselling for free/cheap

lostinrates

geoffky wrote: »

Sorry but this is what you do face to face or as pillow talk before you get married...If you can not ask the questions you need to before you get married without involving third party then i am afraid for you both..
Unless this is a arranged marriage?

Is this some middle class mumbo jumbo thing?

And yet every week we see threads where its clear the big challenging topics are avoided in many couples.

Dh and I didn't have this bt I think it sounds like a fabulous idea when combined with a healthy relationship and a way of ensuring talking the issues through remains a key problem solving tool. I'd probably talk to myu partner to try to schedule these in to the week making sure afterwards we were having a meal together (if we didn't live together) or a meal at home afterwards where we continued to discuss but in a more personal environment so we got into the habit, were it not one, of talking things through without a third party leading us too.

BugglyB

Aside from the church who is it you are expecting to pay for a qualified counsellor for you? A charity? Public funds? Or are you expecting a counsellor to provide their services free of charge?

Sadly at the moment many rape victims/sex abuse victims are waiting up to two years for free counselling. Your need, with respect, is not as great.

Torry_Quine

geoffky wrote: »

Sorry but this is what you do face to face or as pillow talk before you get married...If you can not ask the questions you need to before you get married without involving third party then i am afraid for you both..
Unless this is a arranged marriage?

Is this some middle class mumbo jumbo thing?

This is perfectly normal before a church wedding in many churches though and not anything new. Hopefully not pillow talk.

Judith_W

I really suggest asking your church leader whether they can speak to another local church leader about a suitable couple who would be willing to speak to you/facilitate discussions if you want to speak about stuff.

BTW when we did the pre-marriage course it was just us, and although it was 'hosted' by a lovely couple from the church who we ate dinner with, we watched the DVD and discussed the discussion topics alone. There wasn't anything we felt the need to discuss with them so you don't need to feel embarrassed and you can do it without other couples being at a position to do it.

Lilith1980

Tenyearstogo wrote: »

Arent professional counsellors are bound by a code of conduct? They should be used to dealing with people they know.

The code of conduct that counsellors follow states that they should not work with people they know - too much personal/emotional connection involved. To do so would be considered unethical.

Brighton_belle

Lilith1980 wrote: »

The code of conduct that counsellors follow states that they should not work with people they know - too much personal/emotional connection involved. To do so would be considered unethical.

But church counsellors generally are not professional counsellors.

Lilith1980

Brighton_belle wrote: »

But church counsellors generally are not professional counsellors.

Ah right, are they people who have been trained to deliver this specific pre-marriage 'counselling' then?

Still sounds like it could be awkward having to talk to someone in-depth whom you already know but some people may be comfortable with that

Brighton_belle

Lilith1980 wrote: »

Ah right, are they people who have been trained to deliver this specific pre-marriage 'counselling' then?

Still sounds like it could be awkward having to talk to someone in-depth whom you already know but some people may be comfortable with that

Yes, I believe so. Sometimes they will just be an older 'wiser' couple. Counselling in this sense is meant more as in 'to give wise counsel' and will involve the sharing of personal experience by the 'counsellors' too, rather than as per boundaried professional counselling where the counsellor should have no set agenda or desired outcome for the clients.

For some , I think there is a benefit to spend time with people who know you already - that would enhance the process. But as you say, for others, distance and privacy will work better.