Couples Counselling for free/cheap

heartbreak_star

Why would you bother having counselling? It could spark doubts in your mind that weren't there and have no need to be there!

HBS x

Brighton_belle

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Why would you bother having counselling? It could spark doubts in your mind that weren't there and have no need to be there!

HBS x

I think there is a slightly different meaning to the word 'counselling' in this context. Pre marriage 'counselling' is about ensuring the persons concerned have looked and discussed issues like finance, attitude to each others family, whether they want children or not, how to deal positively and proactively with disagreements etc etc.
It's about marrying up expectations that might have been assumed rather than discussed.
People might suggest that if these haven't been discussed then why are they getting married, but there are many people (these boards testify to that) who surprisingly never check out this sort of stuff with each other because it doesn't occur to them... especially if things seem all fine - 'why fix it'. Or some younger couples who jus don't have the life experience to realise all life can through at you.

OP I think it a great idea: I would try other churches in your area within your 'branch' of Christianity.

WestonDave

No time for a long response now but the Holy Trinity Brompton Marriage Course (which you may be able to get on DVD etc to do at home with the two of you) is supposed to be good - we've done the family equivalent and its focused on getting you talking about things that might become problems or you want to do better. If you look around local churches there may be one running one locally.

Little_Vics

The HTB Marriage Preparation Course is the one to do - it's fab. If you check out the website it will find a local one for you - http://www.relationshipcentral.org/marriage-preparation-course

fluffnutter

Learn how to communicate well with each other and keep doing it, day in, day out for the rest of your lives. Any counselling you do undertake should be about teaching you how to talk to each other without passive-aggressive behaviour, deception or resentment. Then you have to actually practise it. The problem with getting counselling is the temptation to think 'done that, now our marriage won't fail!' and not actually learn anything or change the way you relate to one another.

It's not a bad idea by any means, but I'm not sure you couldn't just learn how to do this yourselves without the need for a third party.

Contessa

A marriage preparation course can be very useful. Many couples prepare for the wedding, which is only one day, rather than preparing for marriage, which hopefully is for a lifetime.
You could contact Marriage Care about one of their courses
http://www.marriagecare.org.uk/our-services/marriage-preparation/

surfboard2

I too was going to suggest HTB. Not that i know anything about marriage, but i came across the course whilst browsing their site the other day.

Torry_Quine

marisco wrote: »

Before people get married they should feel totally happy and secure in their relationship and have lifetime commitment to each other in mind. Yet you are on a public forum asking for advice on finding free counselling or therapy because you are in need as a couple. My advice is to postpone any plans for a wedding until you have addressed and resolved all the issues between you.

I find it concerning when people are in relationships with someone yet are unable to talk properly to them. Good communication between a couple means that when problems arise you have frank and open discussions, work through it together and resolve them. If you aren't able to do that with your life partner the relationship has serious problems.

Sorry to be blunt but couple counselling should not be part of what anyone needs to book in the run up to their wedding.

You've missed the point of pre-marriage counselling. It's actually about exactly what you've said ie learning about what you both want out of marriage, how you communicate etc. Many couples seem to marry without discussing if they want children, attitudes to money and other important issues and the whole idea of these courses is to get couples taking.

marisco_2

Fair enough. I realised that when I read further down the thread, hence deleting my post so as not to cause confusion.

geoffky

Sorry but this is what you do face to face or as pillow talk before you get married...If you can not ask the questions you need to before you get married without involving third party then i am afraid for you both..
Unless this is a arranged marriage?

Is this some middle class mumbo jumbo thing?