Splitting up where to go from here.

Time_for_a_life_change

Hello MSE community,
I hope that there will be someone who is able to offer some advice as actions are needed to be taken but i dont know where to turn 1st.
I will try to get all required information as i can.
Myself and my partner as splitting up after 10+ years, i do not think that the reasons behind it are very important for now but if it is required for advice then i can give it.
We currently live together in a house we have a far to large mortage on and have 3 children of which 2 live with us and only 1 is both of ours.
I will want to take my child to live with me and she will have access without a problem (this is not agree yet)
As it stands i don't work although i will be looking for something around school hours.Being there around these times is a big thing for me, iam a very hands on parent.
We have a house but neither of use can really afford to keep it, although she may be able to as she could/would take in lodgers and im not really to interested in argueing about a pay off of the equity in the house if she wanted to take it on.
So here is where i really need the help, i have very little money to my name and currently no job and will clearly need some financial aid/support to get ourselves into a property as well as any other support we would be able to look into.

Any advice is appreciated.

Regards

Mojisola

How old is the child who will be moving with you - the age affects what benefits you can apply for.

Time_for_a_life_change

Mojisola wrote: »

How old is the child who will be moving with you - the age affects what benefits you can apply for.

He is 11 years old.

marisco_2

From reading your post your split leaves both of you in a difficult position financially. I think this needs to be looked at very carefully and for there to be lots of open and honest discussion between you, about how you will each manage to move on and provide seperate accomodation for yourselves. I think you also need to give very considered thought to whether it is a good idea to split up the children. That decision requires very delicate handling.

When you have reached agreement on how to proceed contact a solicitor and get everything legally agreed as amicably as possible.

It might be worth your while posting on the benefits board of this forum. The helpful people there are well placed to advise you on what financial support you could be entitled to.

kingfisherblue

Time_for_a_life_change wrote: »

Hello MSE community,
I hope that there will be someone who is able to offer some advice as actions are needed to be taken but i dont know where to turn 1st.
I will try to get all required information as i can.
Myself and my partner as splitting up after 10+ years, i do not think that the reasons behind it are very important for now but if it is required for advice then i can give it.
We currently live together in a house we have a far to large mortage on and have 3 children of which 2 live with us and only 1 is both of ours.
I will want to take my child to live with me and she will have access without a problem (this is not agree yet)
As it stands i don't work although i will be looking for something around school hours.Being there around these times is a big thing for me, iam a very hands on parent.
We have a house but neither of use can really afford to keep it, although she may be able to as she could/would take in lodgers and im not really to interested in argueing about a pay off of the equity in the house if she wanted to take it on.
So here is where i really need the help, i have very little money to my name and currently no job and will clearly need some financial aid/support to get ourselves into a property as well as any other support we would be able to look into.

Any advice is appreciated.

Regards

Which child do you want to live with you? Is it the child from this relationship, or is it the other child that lives with you? If it is the child you have together, who is the main carer? Will she agree that the children can be split up, and is that the best thing for them?

Mojisola

Time_for_a_life_change wrote: »

He is 11 years old.

In that case, you will have to go onto JSA and look for work.

You can put a range of scenarios into one of the benefit checkers to get an idea of what you could claim.

whitewing

Speaking as a mother of two, who have different fathers, there is no way that I can imagine currently that I would split the children up, and it would be very unlikely unless I was ill that I would let them live with dad.

Mind you, I think the reality of a relationship breakdown may change matters.

tanith

Although of course we don't know the circumstances I agree with those who say how difficult/damaging it may be to split up siblings.. from what you say it seems the children are already separated from another sibling.. what a terrible shame.. not sure what advice I can give..

Mojisola

Time_for_a_life_change wrote: »

We currently live together in a house we have a far to large mortage on and have 3 children of which 2 live with us and only 1 is both of ours.

I will want to take my child to live with me

whitewing wrote: »

Speaking as a mother of two, who have different fathers, there is no way that I can imagine currently that I would split the children up, and it would be very unlikely unless I was ill that I would let them live with dad.

I read it that the child he wants to take with him isn't related to his current partner.

It is going to make the break-up worse if the siblings are separated but I couldn't leave my child with an ex-partner who wasn't related to him/her.

whitewing

I read it that he (assuming user is male) wants to take his own child - who is both of theirs, as she will have the older half-sibling.

Mojisola

whitewing wrote: »

I read it that he (assuming user is male) wants to take his own child - who is both of theirs, as she will have the older half-sibling.

If that's the case, the mother will probably apply to the courts to keep the siblings together and will no doubt get permission to do so.