Cohabiting and he wants to leave house to kids

Spendless

Well if you are making solicitors appointment anyway you could say you've heard about/read a story on the net (you don't have to reveal where) and mention what bossyboots has said to you.

You could talk about your thinking of getting a life assurance policy yourself or someone else is and talk about are there any conditions on who it is left to and how much they cost or are worth etc - and lead into it that way.

BTW the quote button is in the bottom corner of each post.

Good Luck.

elona

Try saying that you are worried that if anythinghappened to you that HE would be left homeless - that might open up a discussion.

Bossyboots

elona wrote:

Try saying that you are worried that if anythinghappened to you that HE would be left homeless - that might open up a discussion.

Now that is a good idea!!! Sometimes the most obvious things go straight past me.

Spendless

Bossyboots wrote:

Now that is a good idea!!! Sometimes the most obvious things go straight past me.

And me!! Has that been discussed- who you are leaving your share to in the event you go first?

headchef

Thanks guys. Feel better already. I have had several ideas since reading replies and yes, chatting to Sol is good idea. Feel calmer about doing it now - was too upset earlier. Subject first came up when I had my name put on the deeds and Sol said we ought to make a will. BF said he wanted to leave his share to children and that was that.
BF and i were friends for 10 years before getting together. We moved in together when he bought the house but I had no money at the time to put towards deposit so didn't feel i could ask for anything. Over a period of 3 three years though I contributed financially and he agreed to let me have a % share of eqity based on contribution. From there on in we agreed to split 50/50 based on contributing absolute equal amounts into joint account. He was earning £40K and I was earning £12K.
Circumstances changed with jobs somewhat and I am now supporting him and for last 2 years have got into debt by struggling to make ends meet. I am now paying mortgage and bills on my own. BF ex-wives have been brilliant and they've agreed to a suspension of maintenence payments. I do know he has a legal obligation to pay amounts outstanding and it doens't end in death so he would have to pay a certain amount out of his estate anyway.
I'll make appointment with Sol

headchef

Spendless wrote:

And me!! Has that been discussed- who you are leaving your share to in the event you go first?

Posts are coming in quicker than I can type!
Yeah hadn't thought about that - you mean he may be taking it for granted that i would leave my share to him!
I don't have a life insurance policy - i was going to take one out to cover the mortgage for him but am struggling to make ends meet as it is.

one-non-blonde

I knew a couple in a similar situation. When the man died (they were a lot older) his partner was given a life tenancy in the house, although it technically belonged to his children from a previous marriage and would revert to them when she died or decided to move out.

Not sure whether an arrangement like that could be easily overturned though.

Bossyboots

one-non-blonde wrote:

I knew a couple in a similar situation. When the man died (they were a lot older) his partner was given a life tenancy in the house, although it technically belonged to his children from a previous marriage and would revert to them when she died or decided to move out.

Not sure whether an arrangement like that could be easily overturned though.

From what I understand of it, it cannot be overturned, not even to settle the debts of one of the beneficiaries. Proper advice is required though.

elona

Headchef

How are you getting on?

headchef

Hi elona

I'm going to see sol next week and ask a range of questions. I will post responses here (with disclaimer of course) but hope it will give others a guide.
I know it sounds so negative and pessimistic but I'm just the kind of person who needs the reassurance. Need to know I have a safety net.
B.F is vulnerable too and as you hinted at - I don't think he realises. It would break my heart if something happened to me and he couldn't cope financially. Until we write that will, we're both in the sticky stuff!
He's a Type 1 diabetic but vry well controlled. Reading other posts has made put things in perspective a lot more.
I think with most of us there is a constant drive to want *security* versus loving what we have at the moment and trusting our ability to cope with what life throws at us and most importantly, realising there is support out there when things do go wrong.
Sorry a bit deep, but don't think Martin could have known what he started with this website!!