Every Little Inspirational Thought Evokes (Savings)

Witch_Hazel

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FloFlo

squilliondollarbaby wrote: »

Yep sorry 3Dogs, I have always been a bit rational/ realistic about stuff like death and certainly feel the best thing I can do for my wife now is increasingly help prepare her mentally for the fact that her mother is going to die soon. That's not trivialising it in my mind though I can see it might come across that way, I guess 'coffin dodger' is my own way of coping with an impending death in the family as of course when a parent or MIL dies of old age/ natural causes, it IS close to home and makes you think about your own inevitable death next in line though (hopefully) in another 30 or so years. MIL is 80, I'm 50, so 30 more would be fair enough though I'd hope to look after myself a bit better than she. I have to say that the deaths/ illnesses that distress me personally are the 'unfair' ones ie the ones that hit people young in life. OTOH I find it hard to get worked up about death through old age, particularly when that person has not done much to look after themselves in terms of diet and exercise/ staying active, when that would probably have given them a few more years. In a way (and you'll say I'm twisting this) it's the people who die a bit early because they didn't look after themselves in terms of diet & exercise who are being selfish, because they are robbing the people they leave behind of the pleasure of their company/ love etc.

I can see where you are coming from but please remember this is her mum and you preparing her may seem that you are being uncaring. I would have been very disappointed with my husband if he had been too 'realistic' when my mum was dying regardless of her bad habits that may have helped her along the road to an early death. She was still my mum who I adored and miss greatly. My FIL was a heavy smoker and died from emphysema (last year also - was a truly !!!!!! year) at a relatively young age, 61, he had been very ill for a good few years before but his death was still a massive blow to his family - a truly lovely family man. I don't think me at any point saying well he brought it on himself or we knew it was coming would have gone down well, lol.

I think that what I am trying to say is, your wife needs you to say you will be there for her, you understand how worried and how much her mum being ill must hurt her. Take your lead from her not the other way round and let her find her way through - you just pick up the pieces.;)

Tough on you both and the kids.

Witch_Hazel

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cjj_2

tweets wrote: »

Morning raining here thats all i need when i got to go to mums with Poppy . My girl does'nt like rain She gets wet :rotfl::rotfl:

Warning for the Elite i am going to A's this morning so guess what probably wont work



Part of this made me feel a tad . TM i have been there more than once before SS in my stores putting stuff on conveyor in order to scan then asking for my shopping to be added up at a certain point before i added more. Going without for me and DS if i couldn't afford it But that was many moons ago. And i feel sorry for folk still in the same boat and struggling.

Thank goodness i found the Elite :T:T:T:T

I second that, the elite would not be the same without our little t :T x

FloFlo

squilliondollarbaby wrote: »

I spoke to her last night and again this morning and she seems to be quite cheerful, I think she is happier now that the MIL has made a quick recovery in terms of damage to her speech & formulation of words to thoughts which was the main immediate problem. They were talking about her staying in hospital 2 weeks and that has been reduced to leaving next Tuesday (about 7/8 days) - and this is a hypochondriac over-hospitalised country where, for example, they try to keep mums in hospital for a week around childbirth.

Good to hear she is making a quick recovery.

Witch_Hazel

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TrulyMadly

tweets wrote: »

Morning raining here thats all i need when i got to go to mums with Poppy . My girl does'nt like rain She gets wet :rotfl::rotfl:

Warning for the Elite i am going to A's this morning so guess what probably wont work



Part of this made me feel a tad . TM i have been there more than once before SS in my stores putting stuff on conveyor in order to scan then asking for my shopping to be added up at a certain point before i added more. Going without for me and DS if i couldn't afford it But that was many moons ago. And i feel sorry for folk still in the same boat and struggling.

Thank goodness i found the Elite :T:T:T:T

Didn't mean to make you sad tweets:A thankfully you are not in that place anymore:) and it's good to have compassion which you have by the bucketload:A

Witch_Hazel

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TrulyMadly

Witch_Hazel wrote: »

George Full on Lip Glaze - Peaches & Cream
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George Glamoureyes Liquid Liner - Sparkler
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Witch hazel can I just say a huge thank you for your posts. Just as well I keep my notebook and pen by my side at all times:)

squilliondollarbaby

FloFlo wrote: »

I can see where you are coming from but please remember this is her mum and you preparing her may seem that you are being uncaring. I would have been very disappointed with my husband if he had been too 'realistic' when my mum was dying regardless of her bad habits that may have helped her along the road to an early death. She was still my mum who I adored and miss greatly. My FIL was a heavy smoker and died from emphysema (last year also - was a truly !!!!!! year) at a relatively young age, 61, he had been very ill for a good few years before but his death was still a massive blow to his family - a truly lovely family man. I don't think me at any point saying well he brought it on himself or we knew it was coming would have gone down well, lol.

I think that what I am trying to say is, your wife needs you to say you will be there for her, you understand how worried and how much her mum being ill must hurt her. Take your lead from her not the other way round and let her find her way through - you just pick up the pieces.;)

Tough on you both and the kids.

Good advice, I will take it on board and adapt my behaviour accordingly. Apologies to 3Dogs and any other I may have unwittingly offended/ upset as that was not my intention at all. For example, I would never really have understood what FloFlo just said to me without somebody telling me (there's a fair bit of Savs in there no doubt ).

Anyway, just remembering my convo with my wife last night, she was talking about how her ma was effectively refusing all food, just saying she wasn't hungry. And how small her ma looked etc. Sounded to me as if MIL is weary of life but maybe she'll pick up in the next few days. Hopefully the promise of seeing her grandkids next week will be a (big) pleasant thing to look forward to.