Feeling a bit low

sticher

Thank you all for your replies - and for giving me different perspectives on the situation.

My BIL seems to give his family 'turns' at being in favour with him - and those that are not in favour are not spoken of too highly at all. Then the tables turn and its anothers turn and those who were in favour are ignored.

I would say that my turn to be 'in favour' was over the last 2-3 years (by the way we are all in our 40's, so I have a lot of experience of these cyles) - hence the holiday with me kids.

My BIL has been very flirty with me for years and although I know he does flirt alot with alot of women, I have felt that since I have had trouble in my relationship/split up that his attentions have been more serious. I have never let him think we could be more than SIL/BIL. He then seemed to be quite frosty to me (although whenever a member of his family is around he has always been frosty to me). Now things seem OK again (no flirting though).

Have you gone out with your sister (just the two of you) and told her all this? -

that's the point we NEVER go out together socially (occasionally shopping if I take her in the car). When she goes out with people from work (some of whom I know a bit) she never invites me. I invited her out with some of my friends (she knows one), but she declined although this was ages ago.

Maybe my sister doesn't realise I feel she is always 'taking' as I have always let her get away with it - been quite happy to have it that way really as I have always looked out for her when we were young (I am 1 year older). Now however I feel I need a bit of support and am not getting it. I also would like to do the shopping together, occasional night out together but she is always too busy (she does find time for stuff with BILs family though). I sometimes say to her when I ring her that 'I never hear from you' and she always says she works so late and then doesn't think of it.

I have tried speaking to her - told her I feel like a spare part, but it makes no difference. I am sure she doesn't realise how hurt I am but I think enough is enough. I see her putting herself out for others and its like she doesn't need even to give me a call.

Sorry to keep moaning, lol.

carolpinkdreamer

I know exactly how you feel too.

I love my sister to bits but she's always preferred to spend time with her friends than with me and my kids.

She normally texts to ask how we all are just before one of her children have a birthday, so that she can slip it into text and 'remind' me!

On rare occasions we do meet up (family get togethers etc) we get on really well and have a good laugh but she then goes back to her own life and leaves us to get on with ours.

Sad thing is, she is really sociable and loves to entertain, just not with US!!!