Feel like everything is passing me buy and not getting anywhere :-(

chrisyboy

I have been a member for quite a well and every so often visit this site but have never really said much. Basically I guess I feel a bit low right now with my current situation with regards to finances and my current housing situation. I am 31 years old and live with my partner her son and our daughter who is almost 3. I have been with my partner for 6 years and I moved into her house which we have been renting from our local housing association. I have worked really hard since I left school and have worked for the same company for almost 14 years. I had some savings when I met my partner however, children, furniture, bills, general struggling to live have wiped out my savings and I have been in debt for the last few years. I am now beginning to pay these debts off but every time I set myself a target I never seem to meet it, something always crops up and ends up costing me money. I have managed to pay off 1 loan buy owe my boss £3300.00. I am also £1900.00 into my overdraft. I earn a decent wage which luckily has just gone up, now £26,400 + 1 months pay bonus which I get in September which will hopefully pay off my overdraft. I have managed to save approx. £1900.00 however that's taken what seems forever to save. My goal was to try and pay off all my debts this year but I doubt that will happen, I have a huge electricity bill and car tax to look forward to next month! I guess some of you probably wonder why I am worried but year after year my financial situation never seems to get much better, I have to sit at work and my colleagues bragging about their new cars and houses and I haven't got any of that and work just as hard as everyone else! I try to save as much as I can and it never really gets any better and all I really want is my own house, my main worry is I am not getting any younger and if I still don't have a deposit by 35 I will struggle getting a mortgage. Being realistic if I am only say £1000 better off every year how am I going to have £10,000 + in 4 years, I work my but off as it is now! I have tried other options but time is flying by so fast I am worried sick I will never have my own house and will be working all my life just to survive!

I guess I should be grateful for what I have but I just feel lately that my lifes not going anywhere!

tizerbelle

Firstly, don't think owning your own home is the be all and end all of success. You have to pay for the maintenance and upkeep of your property. If you lose your job, you get b***er all assistance from the government.

How do you know that your colleagues with new cars/ houses / holidays aren't up to their necks in debt that they won't be able to manage long term?

I would suggest you start off on the Debt-Free Wanna Be board on this forum and put together a SOA (Statement of Account I think) detailing exactly what income you and your family have and what outgoings you have - they are great at spotting areas to reduce expenditure.

The O/S board is great for more money saving home and recipe ideas

florence4

I sympathise. It's a grim situation to be in. The trouble is, credit costs much more than money spent 'in the black', so to speak - so it's much, much easier to get yourself into debt than to get out of it again.

So for instance, you say you've saved £1900 but you also have an overdraft of £1900. The money you've saved will probably not be earning you any/much interest - you'll be lucky to get £50 on it over the whole year, and you may well get nothing at all. On the other hand, the interest on the overdraft will be around 17-20%, so it will be costing you up to £380 per year!

So basically, in your situation, it is much, much, much better to pay off your debts than to save. If you want to be in a position to save a deposit and get a mortgage, you need to make clearing your debts a top priority.

This probably means cutting your costs dramatically. I know (from when I was in a similar position myself) that lots of small savings can add up... I stopped buying coffee, took packed lunches to work instead of buying, turned off lights and never left anything on standby to save electricity, didn't buy a car and used the bus, bought clothes in second hand shops, etc... for many years... But now I am debt free, and although I earn quite a bit less than you and have two teenage kids whom I support without receiving any maintenance, I no longer have to be careful about what I spend. It feels great, and I reckon it's worth the effort!

hazyjo

As above. Fill out a SOA thingy - will help loads. And don't buy in dribs and drabs, try to meal-plan, keep shopping lists, try online shopping, cook from scratch, cut out any takeaways...

Buy a cheaper car, maybe? My tax is only £30pa.

Jx

chrisyboy

She has been bringing up the children, she has just started a part time carers job, she works the hours she can but with the cost of fuel and the working tax credits she has now lost, to be honest some weeks that only breaks even! I have tried buying and selling on eBay, I have made some small money but to be honest that doesn't really make any difference.

geoffky

Take all the money you both get..Including child allowance and tax credits then take off your rent for the year and what do you have left..
I bet it will surprise you.

chrisyboy

To be honest car was only £600 but was a god send, to be honest my last car was one of the reasons I am in debt, it went wrong badly twice and cost me and arm and a leg! My car is an N Reg Golf TDI, good mpg and touch would never fails! After paying all the bills and putting away my savings something usually crops up which eats into my savings! I have cut back on everything possible, what's the SOA thing, how do I go about finding that?

Thanks for the replies though, I guess I need some people to talk do, my family take up the majority of my time when I am not at work, never go out on my own or have many friends either

tizerbelle

This is the Debt Free Wannabe board http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=76

Here's Old Style MoneySaving http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?s=&daysprune=&f=33

R_P_W

When you say things crop up? What kind of things? Give a couple of examples. I hear my friends say it all the time, but they say things like car insurance, car tax etc. all things that don't crop up - but inevitable annual costs that need to be budgeted for.

Obviously there are costs that you cannot foresee - so have a emergency savings pot is a good idea and use anything else to pay down debt.

davenport151

Have you tried the budget planner on here. Very useful and shows you where your money goes. Work out your essential monthly spends. Amount you need to put by for yearly expenses. Then you can see more clearly where it all goes.
We all feel like we are not getting anywhere at some point. Please ignore those that boast about new cars, houses. There must be something missing in their life if thats all they have to talk about!

ACG

You need to cut your expenses down.

If you cant get out of debt then your spending too much elsewhere.

I have no idea what you spend money on, but im able to do my weekly shop for around £30-35 a week for 2 adults. But i budget - 10 chicken breasts are £10 in sainsburys - add a bit of rice and a curry sauce or pasta and pasta sauce and your meal has cost about £1.50 - you cna even throw in a bit of sweetcorn or spinach and its still cost about £1.50. Plan your meals, i do that...it sounds daft but it works. Add up as your going around, that way you know if you can afford that chocolate for the kids or whatever it may be (you get the idea though), use the vouchers you get - sainsburys gave me £3 off a £30 shop last week, thats 10%(ish).

Sit down, look at your expenses. Being in the job im in i run through peoples expenses with them, then i get their bank statements nobody is ever anywhere close to what they think they spend.

Are you paying £50 to sky? Can you get it down to say £35 with sky or virgin? Can you move your phone? Maybe move gas and electric? car insurance? Smaller car? Walk to the local shops instead of drive? turn the lights off when nobody is in the room, turn the heating off half an hour before you go to bed, rather than WHEN you go to bed.

Just sit down and think about what you can do easily enough and all the little things soon mount up... except for nectar card points, they never add up! I earn about £20 in a year! But its £20 i get for doing my normal spend.

Another thing i do when getting petrol i go to the places i know are cheaper - Asda are always the cheapest but there are none near me so Sainsburys and morrisons are usually the best in which case i put the petrol in when im going past rather than put it in at a more expensive place when i need it.

Ive become really tight with money since leaving full time employment, i found it difficult going from the most expensive bars in town and living the lifestyle to going out less and going to different places, but all the changes do add up.

Ive rambled on enough there but you need to sit down and go through your statements, gets your receipts from your weekly shops and look at how much you spend on "rubbish" - i now dont go shopping with my Mrs because the spend goes from £35 to £50... and it takes about 45 minutes instead of 20.

Edit: WOAHHHH just seen how much i have written...sorry, thats 10 minutes of your life your never getting back.