Wedding Etiquette?

jtr2803

Having had a discussion with my other half today following our reception last night it seems that we both have very different ideas of what is/isn't appropriate at a wedding and I am really interested to hear if I am just old fashion, if it's man/woman thing, or we just know lots of rude people :rotfl:

1) Would you RSVP just for yourself and then turn up with a +1 without asking if this was ok prior to the event?
2) Would you spend the entire evening at the event without even saying hello to the bride or introducing your unknown +1?
3) Would you go to a reception without even a card?
4) Would you go to a wedding, with not even a token gift, have a free drink on the B&G, sit outside in the smoking area all night only visiting the room when the buffet appeared before helping yourself to cupcakes and then stuffing your pockets with sweet cones before leaving without saying goodbye?

Maybe it's me but I just couldn't imagine doing any of those! Yet, each single scenario happened last night, mostly with my OHs mates. At one point I was staring at a group of girls who were helping themselves to our main course buffet and I didn't have a single clue who they were. I feel really shocked and let down by their behaviour to be frank......

On the other hand my other half doesn't quite get why I was so surprised, he thought most of those were fairly 'normal' :eek: If he is right and I am wrong then my life might be about to get a lot cheaper!!

Turtle

No those are all completely unacceptable in my opinion, frankly downright rude. We went to a wedding last weekend, every single person on the guest list was known to and agreed to by both the bride and the groom. I suppose that's perhaps not always possible, but hopefully you'd then avoid said scenarios!

mountainofdebt

jtr2803 wrote: »

1) Would you RSVP just for yourself and then turn up with a +1 without asking if this was ok prior to the event?Nope
2) Would you spend the entire evening at the event without even saying hello to the bride or introducing your unknown +1?I think I would make an effort to say hello but at the end of the day the B&G are the 'stars' of the show so grabbing their attention may be difficult.
3) Would you go to a reception without even a card?Nope
4) Would you go to a wedding, with not even a token gift, have a free drink on the B&G, sit outside in the smoking area all night only visiting the room when the buffet appeared before helping yourself to cupcakes and then stuffing your pockets with sweet cones before leaving without saying goodbye?Depending on the relationship I may or may not bring a present but I certainly wouldn't do the other bits

Manners maketh the man (or woman!)!

Stephb1986_2

1) Would you RSVP just for yourself and then turn up with a +1 without asking if this was ok prior to the event? Nope
2) Would you spend the entire evening at the event without even saying hello to the bride or introducing your unknown +1? Nope
3) Would you go to a reception without even a card? Nope
4) Would you go to a wedding, with not even a token gift, have a free drink on the B&G, sit outside in the smoking area all night only visiting the room when the buffet appeared before helping yourself to cupcakes and then stuffing your pockets with sweet cones before leaving without saying goodbye? Nope

These people don't sound like the type of people you should be friends with sounds to me like they only turned up for the free food. I went to one of my OH's friends wedding a few months ago we only found out the week before that they were getting married, we still made an effort and we spoke to the bride and groom, took a card with money in, I didn't have any food as we had already eaten and also said thank you for inviting us upon leaving as I had work early the next morning.

I've always been taught manners I'm really hot on them h2b not so much though I'm drumming them into him slowly lol.

Steph xx

shellsuit

No to all those questions.

I'd never to to a party/function/reception without saying Hello to the hosts and bringing them a card and/or gift!

jtr2803

I have to admit I have had a bit of an emotional day with post wedding blues and it just really hit me that quite a large group of them did these things, this wasn't just one or two! We really went all out to ensure everyone was fed, got them all a drink and entertained them and it feels like a bit of a slap in the face.

Blinking guests eh?

Pinzy

People are strange. I'm expecting that some people may turn up with a +1 when it wasn't on the invite, but the others are quite rude. Hey, you gave some people a good time, and if you ever hear them saying otherwise, then slap 'em in the face!

It probably is a bit of post wedding blues, but as the saying goes, you live and learn, and in this case you'll learn not to invite them to any future parties

happy_to_be_here

I was fizzing at my wedding for some of the same reasons! I put invitations on the staff table for work and left my BM to get exact numbers-she went as far as telling folk if they hadn't said yes two weeks before then they weren't welcome as some had said "depends on what's on that night"(!)

One girl said to her on the Fri (I was married on the Sat) and said she would swing by to which she was told it was too late to rsvp. She turned up anyway.

I had a couple of them turn up with partners that I'd never even heard of which bugged me to no end. One of them checked before hand and I didn't mind that because I knew and they'd been together for a long time.

Gift wise, we didn't receive a card or anything from the majority which I found really rude. I wasn't fussed about a gift but I was about the card!

mouthscradle

No, no, no and no!!! :eek:

Torry_Quine

jtr2803 wrote: »

1) Would you RSVP just for yourself and then turn up with a +1 without asking if this was ok prior to the event? No, I would check first and if the invite wasn't for a +1 then would decline.
2) Would you spend the entire evening at the event without even saying hello to the bride or introducing your unknown +1? I would at least try to speak to them
3) Would you go to a reception without even a card? No
4) Would you go to a wedding, with not even a token gift, have a free drink on the B&G, sit outside in the smoking area all night only visiting the room when the buffet appeared before helping yourself to cupcakes and then stuffing your pockets with sweet cones before leaving without saying goodbye?

No, although I may have given them the gift before-hand.

That is just so wrong, I hope there was enough food.

Congratulations on your marriage.

lazer

jtr2803 wrote: »

Having had a discussion with my other half today following our reception last night it seems that we both have very different ideas of what is/isn't appropriate at a wedding and I am really interested to hear if I am just old fashion, if it's man/woman thing, or we just know lots of rude people :rotfl:

1) Would you RSVP just for yourself and then turn up with a +1 without asking if this was ok prior to the event?
2) Would you spend the entire evening at the event without even saying hello to the bride or introducing your unknown +1?
3) Would you go to a reception without even a card?
4) Would you go to a wedding, with not even a token gift, have a free drink on the B&G, sit outside in the smoking area all night only visiting the room when the buffet appeared before helping yourself to cupcakes and then stuffing your pockets with sweet cones before leaving without saying goodbye?

Maybe it's me but I just couldn't imagine doing any of those! Yet, each single scenario happened last night, mostly with my OHs mates. At one point I was staring at a group of girls who were helping themselves to our main course buffet and I didn't have a single clue who they were. I feel really shocked and let down by their behaviour to be frank......

On the other hand my other half doesn't quite get why I was so surprised, he thought most of those were fairly 'normal' :eek: If he is right and I am wrong then my life might be about to get a lot cheaper!!

No to all of them (Although possibly not number 2 - if they were friends of the grooms, it is the groom that should introduce them to the bride if they had not already met).

Possibily would go without a card if I had bought something from an online gift list of delivered the present beforehand

Was this for the whole day or just the evening do? I know in my family partners are autpmatically invited to the evening do, and sometimes left off invitations if they aren't known about or weren't on the scene when the invitations went out - but as a recent bride I was happy for additional evening guests to turn up - as we had no restriction on numbers

JTR - don't focus on the negative things of the day and jsut think back to all the positive things.

Some of the things guests done at my firends wedding were terrible

It was in a country mill with rooms, with exclusive use and some of the guests helped themselves to the bar after hours.
Some guests left without paying for their rooms

At another wedding a fight broke out and the window of the hotel got smashed

At ours - we had someone rudely interupt the speeches with an extremely inappropriate comment (my OH has forgiven them but I haven't!)

Things happen at weddings but it is best to simply forget them and look back at the pictures and videos and remember all the good feeling of the day.

PS - notanewusernotanewuser people wore jeans to the evening do at our wedding, but I have no problem with that at all, i didn't care what people wore as long as they were happy