Diary of a Struggling DFW

quidsy

It sure is hard to keep from impulse spending but all I focus on is the money I WILL have in a years time, to do with whatever I want, buy whatever I want & waste however I want. lol

The sacrifices you make now will pay you back 10 fold once all the debt is gone. We can motivate each other to stay on track.

Eyebright

Thanks for sharing that Quidsy, you are right of course. Once my debts are paid I can spend my money how I want. But whilst I owe money to other people/places it has to be my priority to pay them back.

I just wish I could get OH more on board! He won't talk to me much about his finances and it drives me nuts! I found out a few weeks ago that his CC has crept up again having previously been cleared. That's now at £600ish :eek: What has he been spending it on?! He is so laissez-faire about it all. He has no savings, he knows we need to save for the house but chooses going out with his mates and getting lashed instead. How skewed are his priorities?! Our DD for gas and electric has gone up this month due to an error and so he has decided he won't put his £50 into the saving account to go towards paying back his dad as he went to the rugby and had his mate from Cheshire down. I still put my share in, I just cut back accordingly throughout the month instead...I could rant about this all day but it will do nobody any good! :rotfl:So instead I will go peg out the washing and finish off my CPD, as I need to submit that by the end of this week :eek:

quidsy

I took full control of all debt & household expenses & now my OH pays me his share & i deal with it all. That way I don't feel like he isn't pulling his weight & he knows he get's a free ride when it comes to all things money. lol

I prefer it that way but I don't include his personal debt, he has enough left over to cover any he might want to take out but he is well schooled (me having a go every time he talks about getting a cc, lol) in how much it actually costs to borrow so apart a very account which he used to buy an ipad mini & which he paid off interest free over 3 months, he doesn't have any.

Is there anyway to get your OH to do that, transfer a lump sum to a joint account & you take charge of paying it off?

Eyebright

quidsy wrote: »

I took full control of all debt & household expenses & now my OH pays me his share & i deal with it all. That way I don't feel like he isn't pulling his weight & he knows he get's a free ride when it comes to all things money. lol

I prefer it that way but I don't include his personal debt, he has enough left over to cover any he might want to take out but he is well schooled (me having a go every time he talks about getting a cc, lol) in how much it actually costs to borrow so apart a very account which he used to buy an ipad mini & which he paid off interest free over 3 months, he doesn't have any.

Is there anyway to get your OH to do that, transfer a lump sum to a joint account & you take charge of paying it off?

Bah humbug I just lost my post!!!!!!
:mad::mad::mad:

As I was saying before it got lost in the internet wasteland... we have a Santander 123 account for the household bills and I am in full control of household finances. I tell him how much his share is and he coughs it up...and he pays all his personal bills, phone, car insurance etc. It's the LO money that I don't like what he does with. I know it's his money, that he has earnt, but he only thinks of himself and definitely not of the future. He is very much a live in the moment person, which is nice in one way and sucks in another!!
I could leave him to deal with his personal debt (which thankfully is just this CC), but I know what he is like, he doesn't deal with it. He pays off the minimum payment each month and that's it, so it will never go down!!:eek: We've been here before and last time he had over a grand on his CC. I did a balance transfer to my name, as a) he couldn't get one in his name due his credit rating not being good enough and b) I could keep an eye on it and help him to pay it down to get rid of it ASAP. At that time I had no personal debts.
I know he is keen to do the same again. He did (bless him) try to apply for a 0% CC to balance transfer onto a few months ago, but he still got declined
So he did hint the other week about me, either getting another (!!!) CC and balance transfering or see if my current CC would do me a 0% deal to shift his debt. I'm not sure about it though as just last month we got the Santander 123 CC to do the food and petrol shops on (DD set up to clear it in full each month), and I know all this financial activity shows up on your credit score and I need mine to stay excellent due to OH's being so carp. I want to help him I really do, but I know if I transferred some money to him each month to overpay on the CC that it won't be put to that use!!!!

I feel dizzy from going round in circles!!!!!! :rotfl:Might try and talk to him again tonight if he is in a good mood, see if I can at least get him to agree to pay slightly more than the minimum. That would be a good start!

If we didn't have so much that needs saving to do on the house I would just save up £600 quietly than force him to pay it straight off!! That might be my last resort lol if all else fails. I will get us debt free!!!!:money:

Eyebright

Sowed the seeds in OH's mind yesterday that paying more than the minimum payment on your CC each month improves your credit rating, which gave him pause for thought. So he now agrees it would be better to up the payment from now on. Small victory but I'm taking it!

CC statement finally came through today so I can make my payment to that. Then what is left in my account is mine to make last until payday on the 25th. A mere 17 days away...:eek:
123 CC for food and petrol's statement also came through today but that money is put aside in the joint account and DD is set up to clear card in full on the 28/06. £5.55 cashback earnt on it for this month whoop!

Today has been a NSD for me. Went to work this morning til half 12, then came home and lay in the garden for a bit to get a bit of sun :j
This evening's plans are:

• Make spaghetti carbonara for dinner
• Write dad's Father's Day card, put money in ready to post on Monday
• Do Tesco online shop to make use of the £5 off £40 spend e-voucher
• Sort and file all the important mail/statements etc into the filing cabinet
• Remind OH to transfer over his half of the weekly food shop money

Eyebright

This evening's plans are:

• [STRIKE]Make spaghetti carbonara for dinner[/STRIKE]
• Write dad's Father's Day card, put money in ready to post on Monday
• Do Tesco online shop to make use of the £5 off £40 spend e-voucher
• Sort and file all the important mail/statements etc into the filing cabinet
• [STRIKE]Remind OH to transfer over his half of the weekly food shop money[/STRIKE]

Here is my to-do list from yesterday, I only managed to make dinner and remind OH about paying for the food shop, which I still don't think he has done, he is so lazy at times!!:mad:

So on to today's to do list. I'm working until half 12, so I will tackle the to-do list once I am home.

[strike]Write dad's Father's Day card, put money in ready to post on Monday[/strike]
[strike]Do Tesco online shop to make use of the £5 off £40 spend e-voucher[/strike]
Sort and file all the important mail/statements etc into the filing cabinet
Tidy up bedroom
Ironing
[strike]Put washing out to dry[/strike]
[strike]Make a lasagne for dinner...well make something for dinner![/strike]
Put a couple of things on e-bay, to get the ball rolling
[strike]Remind OH again about paying for the food shop...[/strike]

I think that is plenty and knowing me there isn't a hope in hell of me acheiving everything but as long as I get the most important ones done I'll be OK

Oh, I made my monthly payment for the CC yesterday, now just to see what I have left at the end of the month to add to that :T

quidsy

I hear you on the things to do list, mine is always behind. The only things I absolutely do every weekend is laundry & ironing, anything else is an added bonus if it gets done.

Eyebright

quidsy wrote: »

I hear you on the things to do list, mine is always behind. The only things I absolutely do every weekend is laundry & ironing, anything else is an added bonus if it gets done.

I hate ironing with a passion, glad there is just two of us in the house as i don't think I could bear to have to do any more than that. It's a struggle as it is!

How is your weekend going quidsy? Hope it's been a nice one. I am back home from work now. Exhausted for some reason, trying to fight the urge to go for a nap! Will sort out the online Tesco shop I think whilst OH isn't around to shout out ridiculous (read expensive) demands...:cool:

quidsy

Weekend is going ok, busy busy day yesterday, managed to overspend a bit as had to buy outfit for wedding reception last night but am due a Lloyds PPI payout sometime soon so really hope it comes in this month to balance it out but if not I will just have to suck it up. lol

Am shattered today, went out at 8.30am yest morning, came back at 4.30pm, got ready & went out again at 6.30 till midnight then up at 8 am today to go help my mum with clearing out the crawl space storage under her house ready for her sale & only just got back.

One good thing though is I found 2 kids bikes, 3 ride on kids toys & a massive trampoline under there which are mine & I totally fogot I had, so they will go to boot fare next week so hopefully generate a bit more extra income.

Also found a box of my late dads negatives & also a box of my art & photos from when we went overseas for a year in 2009 & never knew was under there. The down side is I have to go through all this stuff but I will do a bit a day after work next week.

Now home having late lunch & plan to do ironing later then early night in front of the telly box.

Glad to read the OH is getting on board with the program & is starting to understand the implications of overpaying his cards.

What do you do that you have to work on a sunday. I don't think I could work weekends, I like my mon-fri.

Eyebright

I'm a pharmacy techncian working in a hospital, and those darn places never close lol. I don't complain though as I only work one weekend in six, and then get a day off in the week to compensate

Great news about the kiddies toys you can sell, it will all add up! Was your dad a keen photographer? I'm sure it will be interesting to see what is there, best to find some quiet time to do that though. I do love finding things you had forgotten all about like your art supplies! When I was tidying out the loft I a couple of months ago I found an 18th birthday mug gift and when I opened it up to look at it I found my contraceptive pills inside!!! I used to keep them in there so my mum wouldn't find them!!!:rotfl:
But wowee, you have had a super busy weekend and put mine to shame :rotfl:my to do list is still not looking anywhere close to completed, so it will end up rolling over to tomorrow and being added to! I'm rethinking what to do for dinner currently as I can be ar$sed to do lasagne for dinner, it's too much faff making two sauces from scratch.

Yes I'm pleased with OH too, I know it's difficult for him as he has never been good with money his entire life (he got 16k from Lloyds a year and a half ago in PPI compo, so just imagine what he was like before I met him...:eek:). I'm also 11 years younger and I think perhaps he finds it a bit surreal that a young whippersnapper has come along and tried to tell him how things should be done and that what he does isn't right. I can almost hear him thinking, "what the hell do you know". So I shall carry on subtly trying to nudge him in the right direction.

Enjoy your evening in front of the telly. I shall also be ironing this evening *shudders*