Dealing with jealousy

duckeggblue

You said your life is more different than you could ever have imagined. Do you feel unappreciated or trapped in some way do you think?
Feeling you were in some way misled , tricked by your bosses , what you can take from that is a strong learning experience of how you will treat people who you are in charge of, and it will make you eminently employable in the future, if that makes sense.Coming to terms with it is hard though.Is it jealously, or just riteous anger, which you would be entitled to feel too?

vanessav

I understand your frustration. I worked for a company for 10 years and saw people I had trained get promoted. It even got to the stage where when a higher level vacancy was being filled, senior managers actually sought out candidates originally trained by me because they were well-taught! I was definitely a bit of a mug and at the time very pee'd off! I too left after having my first child. Although after a year of so I got invited back on a 'consultancy' basis (same salary but non of the holiday, pension etc perks)! But it felt so much better to be my own boss and call the shot about the hours I worked etc. I did that for a couple of years until something else came up.
This was all more than a decade ago and now I look back on that period with affection and with the benefit of hindsight can see that I was not machiavellian enough and wore my heart on my sleeve too much and that was probably why I got 'stuck'!
What I am trying to say is, you still have plenty of time to make your mark on the world of work if you want to and your experience will stand you in good stead. You sound extremely capable and you are still a spring chicken in my book!

nzmegs

I also had the experience of being overlooked for promotion and i put it down to me being a mother and not being able to work extended hours. However now i am self employed, set my own hours and make more money.

However I still feel jealous of what other people have. As a self employed SAHM I actually feel quite lonely much of the time and wish I was in the workplace - but i know that it is isn't practical and within months i would tearing my hair out wishing i was back home.

The fact is that deciding to be a mother means that you will be passed over for promotion and your career will not flourish in the way it diod before children. You just need to put that anger someplace where it can do you good. think about what you can achieve at home and make them jealous.

You now have the opportunity to develop your skills, set targets and achieve them yourself outside th world of the 9-5. that is actually empowering.

chatterup

I think it's normal to feel a bit a jealousy because it is people that you have coached and mentored that have been promoted above where you were. However, like previous posts said, you are blessed with a beautiful child and you are taking a break from your career to take care of her. Some people don't have the money to take a break in their career to look after their newborns and they would love to be in your position. You are very lucky! And I think a lot of people are probably jealous of your position!

alwaysbrassic

I frequently suffer from green eyed monster. I recently went to a wedding, was constantly asked what i did for a job, my reply was just a ............ I actually got told off. Apparently it takes allsorts to make the world go round!
The reality is I did a degree, but didn't actually know what my aim in life was. My friends have all not had an aim, started working, found their aim and are now doing really well. Wish I knew what I wanted to be when I grow up !

Funky_Bold_Ribena

a - it often happens that people who are great at their jobs are too great to be promoted
b - how do you know that the people with 'amazing lives' aren't also in the same boat, having been somewhat promoted but not to the level which they think they should be
c - you have a child and had a £40k a year job - I have to say that moaning about that fact will be annoying to those who can't have kids or who won't ever be earning that amount.

So please bear in mind that plenty of people will be thinking that you have an amazing life and will be jealous of you. So try to be a little more thoughtful about moaning about it.