POF dating etc

maintenanceman

Do you think you have to be a complete match when dating or do you think opposites attract. It seems an impossibility to match yourself against someone on a written description so know on earth do you know if they are even compatible if opposites attract when you don't have the same type of personality or chemistry.

harrys_nan

I think it would be the most boring of relationships if a couple was a perfect match, as we are all individuals, we need a bit of independence. You cannot be with each other all of the time (apart from work), what would you find to talk about?
It's good to have a lot of things in common and I think the same type of personality is important, it's no good one being the joker in the pack and the other one with no sense of humour at all.

What's your take on your question?

sammyjammy

I put my details into EHarmony once - it matched me with men that do quilting!! I don't want a man that does quilting just because I do it, needless to say I didn't join.

Gloomendoom

I think it is essential that you are a complete match...



Not!

podperson

I don't think you have to have everything in common but some common ground or a shared interest may be helpful. Me and OH will agree on some things and then have completely different tastes in other areas - over the years some things he's won me over to and others I still think he's nuts for liking!

That said I think it's important to agree on the important issues - such as views on marriage, children, career, core values etc. If you have different hobbies that can be worked round, if you want completely different things in the future then it's going to cause issues.

victory

It is important to agree on the big things but a perfect match does not exist even for those things:D

bitemebankers

In my experience, it can work both ways. I've had relationships where there was little in common, and relationships where we had a lot in common. My only "red lines" concern core values and beliefs. Differences in interests and ideas can be very good in a relationship.

Regarding PoF specifically, it's a pretty rubbish dating site and you can usually tell very little about someone from a PoF profile. There are other, far better sites that allow for a much more rounded description of the individuals on there.

newcook

I wouldn’t say you have to be a complete match but like others on here, I think its important to have similar interests and wants (children, marriage etc).

I know from reading someones profile that if they state they listen to nothing but heavy metal music, ride a motorbike and never want to get married and have kids that they are completely the opposite of what Im looking for – therefore I wont waste my time or theirs by sending messages.