How do I get my 9 month old to sleep though

cotsvale

Before bedtime routine and a special song that we only sang at bedtime ias the last song (in our case ride a cockhorse) Controlled crying worked with mine. No baby died from tears. I left them for 20 mins went in (no lights) patted and talked to them. Then away for another 20 mins and so on. It was very hard to stay away but after 3 nights 6pm -6am bliss and a happier child in the daytime too.

The song became a big part of their childhood, when they hurt themselves or were upset or fell over etc and needed mummy (not every fall needs mummy to pick up) they would say "!!!! horse" and I would have to sing it. This right up to when they were about 8 years old. We still laugh about it now. They are 16 and 18.

I have had a lot of experience with children and mothers and controlled crying when the mother can bear it ,seems to win everytime.

Gingham_Ribbon

pegginout wrote: »

epidurals & grobags are the BEST!!!!!

LOL at that! My epidural didn't take very well - except on my feet. But I LOVE grobags!

iwilldoitthistime

Hi

I have also used gro-bags since my son was born - they really stop you worrying about them wriggling out of the blankets.

To get my son to sleep, we use a TOMY lightshow (from Mothercare) which plays tunes, and background sounds such as birds, rainforest etc. We turn it on when he is having his feed so he watches the lightshow, then when you put him down awake, he can continue this and it really seems to soothe him. If he wakes during the night and cries, the music switches on automatically to soothe him back to sleep.

so good, Im taking it on holiday!

mamashaz

After 4 years of sleepless nights we finally sorted out our son's sleep problems after consulting "Teach your child to sleep" by Millpond Children's Sleep Clinic ISBN 0-600-61345-3.

Although our son is 4, the book deals with the sleeping habits/problems of babies too. After trying lots of things I came across the book by chance on Amazon and it has transformed the lives of the whole family as we all asleep now!

I can't recommend it highly enough - please PM if you want more information.

Mamashaz

samsil

hi tizzy2, hope u dont mind me saying, but perhaps baby is waking for a breastfeed for the comfort of it, rather than the actual feed? if on solids throughout the day he should not be hungry during the night so he probably just likes the comfort and closeness of the breastfeed. If if saves your sanity I would not hesitate to put baby on a bottle.(however you must be seriously congratulated for still breastfeeding at 9 months it is hardcore!)
we use some of the gina ford books, they are strict but you take what you can from it and adapt to suit, Id say. we have finally got our 8 month old to sleep through, 7pm-6am. the key to this for us, was when (upon advice in gina ford book) we blacked out his nursery window completely, with a piece of cardboard cut to size. the blackout blind wasnt doing the job, neither the curtains over it. in the book it says if a baby wakes a little, opens eyes then catches glimpses of his surroundings, thats enough to make him want to wake fully.....(to start the day) rather than to settle himself back to sleep, which he should if he is fully in the dark.
I hope this might work for you? if you can get him settled into a cot?
also, we have found he sleeps more solidly at night if he sleeps well in the day (we find he needs 1 hour nap in morning 1 hour nap in afternoon).....
I hope this may help you?

Rachie_B

cotsvale wrote: »

Before bedtime routine and a special song that we only sang at bedtime ias the last song (in our case ride a cockhorse) Controlled crying worked with mine. No baby died from tears. I left them for 20 mins went in (no lights) patted and talked to them. Then away for another 20 mins and so on. It was very hard to stay away but after 3 nights 6pm -6am bliss and a happier child in the daytime too.

The song became a big part of their childhood, when they hurt themselves or were upset or fell over etc and needed mummy (not every fall needs mummy to pick up) they would say "!!!! horse" and I would have to sing it. This right up to when they were about 8 years old. We still laugh about it now. They are 16 and 18.

I have had a lot of experience with children and mothers and controlled crying when the mother can bear it ,seems to win everytime.

controlled crying is very tough ,on both baby and parent lol I couldnt stick with it ,it made me upset aswell ! heres the info for those who want to try it : http://www.askbaby.com/baby-sleep-training.htm (scroll down)

its not for everyone,and a lot of babies can cry / scream so much they are sick !

a "nicer" method IMO is the rapid return technique ( settle baby then return after 1 min,then 2 mins then 3 mins intervals etc gradually increasing the time inbetween until baby is asleep) or gradual withdrawal as i mentioned above

halia

just to say CC ISN't about leaving baby o cry without checking.

"a "nicer" method IMO is the rapid return technique ( settle baby then return after 1 min,then 2 mins then 3 mins intervals etc gradually increasing the time inbetween until baby is asleep) "

this is what you do with CC, the only difference is that they recomend you start with 5 minutes and gradually increase. It depends very much on the temperement and age of baby/child. At 9 months I'd recomend 1 minute to start with, then 2 then 5 then 10.

If you can't leave the room then try the withdrawal technique - instead of leaving, you sit down by the cot and bow your head, dont' say or do anything. Stay until baby goes to sleep. (from experience it can help to have a duvet/campbed to lie down on yourself as you may be there for some time!)
repeat for 3 nights
4th night, move across the room but still in sightline
6th/7th night, move to door out of sight but in room
8th/9th night, move out of room

We did this first to get DS used to not falling asleep on the bottle, then once we'd got to sitting by the door we did CC for 3 nights.

Agree with growbags, water offered in the night, nightlight or music - but onyl if you can turn it back on remotly or it comes on automatically if baby wakes up.
The idea is to replace the sleep association your baby has - mum, breast, bottle, cuddle etc
with ones they can use for themselves without waking you up, teddy, automatic nightlight, comfort blanket etc.

I'd also say you need to check his food itnake - at 9 months and a big boy he needs to be having enough food during the day (6am - 12pm) to last through the night.

From memory at 9 months (DS was small btw) DS was having 30oz milk + 3 'meals' of baby mush.
Regular meals and milk will help amke sure he isn't hungry at night.

Delilah

I also used the Gina Ford book, bit strict for me but took some bits from there, i didn't use the black out blinds part as i found that total darkness made my daughter harder to settle for a nap anywhere else. But one main point we did use was to ensure baby got enough of feeds during the day, we feed our our daughter every 3 hours give or take an hour now she is on solids (started at 10 weeks) and she has slept 9 - 6.30 since. She is six months now so we have moved her bedtime to 8.30pm. As for the settling her (also in the Gina Ford book) when you put baby/toddler back in Cot from wherever they fell asleep make sure they are semi awake even if you just re-adjust their nappy then as previously posted they will not wake up alarmed that they are not where they were when they fell asleep. We use the Tomy nightshow from Mothercare aswell just set it for 5 mins and she is asleep by the end, also i have a vest top that i will wear for the evening then take it off and put it in over her shouder next to her face, she grabs it rubs her face with it a little sucks her dummy and goes to sleep. i had to buy three of these vests so that i can have one on, one in the wash and one in the cot. Also we only give our daughter the dummy to settle her (she spits it out if she is not tired) and we take it out when she is asleep.
I would carry on the breastfeed at night if you want to because by the time you get up and heat a bottle he could be crying so much he woke himself up wide awake and least you can feed him and pop him back to bed. i never did the controlled crying in the cot i didn't want her to hate the cot. Maybe you can try putting some toys in there for him to play with for 10 mins one day and gradually longer so he gets used to the cot, then maybe for a daytime nap eventually leading to trying him at night. Me and my husband went to bed when our daughter did for the first few days (knackered and thought maybe it wold help the transition from moses basket to cot) it worked for us.
Sorry for the long post and i may have got off the subject a bit but i like reading what works for other people sometimes so that i can take from there what i can. Good luck.

BernadetteN

I have brought up 4 children who were all breastfed and also co-slept. With the first child, it was not a conscious decision, just a means of getting of our baby and me getting some uninterrupted sleep. For the next 3 children, I co-slept and breasfed because by then I knew it was right for us. It is the way humans have brough up their children for many thousands of years and really a cot is a modern invention.

Our 3 eldest children self-weaned from the breast (with a little push from me) between 18 months and 2 1/2 years and I plan to stop feeding the youngest at around 2 1/2 years as well. The 3 eldest children have moved immediately in to their own beds and slept through with no fuss, no black-out blinds, no light shows, no controlled crying, no stopwatches, no extra feeding during the day or extra naps during the day to make them sleep through the night.

There is a strong connectoin between breastfeeding longer than 6 months and co-sleeping. I don't know any mum personally who has breastfed longer than a few months without co-sleeping too.

If you are happy with co-sleeping and/or breastfeeding, I would not even dare go down the "methods" route to get your baby to sleep through because I think you would really struggle to get it to work at 9 months old with a baby who co-sleeps and breasfeeds through the night. There is no need for a 9 month old to sleep through the night. If you are unhappy with co-sleeping or breastfeeding or both, then you could try the various "methods" but you'll have to remain consistent whatever "method" you choose.

Rachie_B

halia wrote: »

just to say CC ISN't about leaving baby o cry without checking.

"a "nicer" method IMO is the rapid return technique ( settle baby then return after 1 min,then 2 mins then 3 mins intervals etc gradually increasing the time inbetween until baby is asleep) "

this is what you do with CC, the only difference is that they recomend you start with 5 minutes and gradually increase. It depends very much on the temperement and age of baby/child. At 9 months I'd recomend 1 minute to start with, then 2 then 5 then 10.

.

similar kind of thing but "they" suggest 5 - 10 mins before going in, then 20 mins etc

which can seem a lifetime when you *and* baby are upset and crying