My so called best friend

EthelBloggs

Congrats on how lovely your life is becoming It's nice to see there is always hope

I believe that people come into our lives for a reason and when they've served their purpose then they leave it again, so it could be that you and your friend came together at a time wen you both needed each other but now that your lives have moved on you don't so you've drifted apart.. does that make sense? I'm not explaining it very well cos I've got to go out in a few mins and I'm trying to be quick, lol

Dont' worry too much is what I'm trying to say, lol

RibAd

A lot of what has been posted has been very kind and positive. Having been in semi-similar circumstances in a vague way (similar behaviour in first half and then in second) with someone who came close to my closest friend. I ditched the person, and to be honest, I felt the better off for it. I had gone through a lot of consideration, tried to get an explanation, but nothing came of it. When I finally let the friendship die, I had a lot of anger still in me, which in time and reflection, mellowed. If your friend is making your life feel negative and you feel negative because of it, you will only end up dampening your happiness with negativity. And it's not worth it. Relief yourself of the burden and guilt... but leave it on a nice ending.

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Someone once said to me friends are
Reason, Season or lifetime.

Reason ie: you've met someone and they've helped you through something or you've helped them etc... or it could be work friends, or neighbours that move away etc..

Season: you meet friends on holidays or living abroad, they're great for that but may never see them again etc.. sometimes 'reason' and 'season' lines are blurred, but that's ok

Lifetime : obviously, the ones that are there forever.

sometimes we need to let go of the ones that need losing.

It's not always nice but if you step back and think, am I just friends because of history, or guilt or whatever, then you know it's time to move on.

I'm not saying be ruthless, I'm just saying you shouldn't put lots of time and effort into a friendship that is probably nearing or in it's expiry date.

It's ok to move on. Life changes and so do you and the people around you.

Best of luck

Lady_E

I fully understand your anger, but it is not your problem . Sadly a combination of jealousy and insecurity has played on this womans mind and she sees you as "the winner" and its just not "fair". Dont make any more contact with her , if you see her in the street ,wait until she makes the move (unlikely)just leave it be. She wont be coming to the Wedding , and she is not a friend that you want in your life .
Good luck for the big day .

misgrace

Errata wrote: »

Sounds like she was hitting out. She goes through men like a sliced loaf but they never stick around, you've got yourself engaged and now you're going to get married. She's still stuck playing musical men. You've bought your own house, she's still stuck in a council rent. You've got your dream job, she hasn't. Could be it's the end of your friendship as you no longer have anything in common with each other.

I couldnt have put it better myself.:D

What strikes me is that she is what I call 'a fair weathered friend', and believe me you are better off without them.

There is something wrong in her make up, as you say her 'new men' only last 5 mins, and she cant keep or treat you as a decent friend.

I get the impression and I could be wrong, but these other new friends who she goes out with could be a bit more up for it, and she knows she has more chance of meeting a new man.
I think she has to be the centre of attention, and a new man or any man will give her that for a short time, and if she is prepared to put all these new men in front of you then she is not worth your time and friendship.

I am only saying this as I have been in your shoes, and I have walked away, I got married again, have a much better life than I had before, and have a decent man, the friend in question has still not found her prince even though she must have 'kissed' every frog from within a 20 mile radius.
Her kids have grown up and got the heck out of her life, one kid's always in prison, the other hasnt spoken to her in years, so this ex friend of mine has nothing, and if she had played the game, she would still have had me at least.

seashore321

You seem to have a new life.. You cannot always keep old friends in it. Often they are jealous ..sometimes they keep you because at a certain point in time they were better off than you,..it makes them feel better.. unfortunately you have to move on.. invite her to special functions but realise you will meet new friends.. and if she was a realfriend she would have been happy for you as we all are, and we do not know you.

Moving on is hard, moving on with a new purpose is wonderful, it's like blue sky on a cloudy day ( is that Jim Withers)...

Anyway don't dwell on the past make the future work and good luck.


:j