Formally withdrawing child from homework

balletshoes

Person_one wrote: »

I think its worth remembering that no matter how clever a child is, they will have to learn to get along with their peers if they want to enjoy their life, and being told repeatedly by their parents that they are better, faster, brighter, more special than the rest of the class is not really going to help with that. An air of superiority or smugness is not an attractive trait.

There are lots of times in adult life when we have to put up with doing things we find dull, or using time on obligations and chores when we can think of better ways to spend it, getting used to that idea is pretty useful.

Education and school aren't just about the academic stuff, other lessons are equally valuable!

thats an interesting take on withdrawing from homework, with my DD's friends example, she's not smug, she's not special, she's not better, brighter or faster than her classmates. Her mum just doesn't believe in homework.

koalamummy

valk_scot wrote: »

I don't think DD has ever got to the end of the extension exercises in class, her teacher said at the start of the year that she was going to "stretch" DD and she wasn't kidding, she's an endless source of extension stuff. DD moaned at first because she liked to be sitting there looking smug when she'd finished ahead of the others, now she regards it as a challenge. She got put in the accelerated maths class too. It's just an ordinary state school in a very average area but they're committed to putting a fair bit of effort into the bright kids instead of pouring all the resources into the bottom end as often happens.

She only gets the standard homework though, it's usually done and dusted in half the set time, I glance over it and that's that. I do actually think the homework is a bit of a waste of her time because she finds it too easy but it's good for her to sit down and do it nightly, plus all her classmates have to do it so why shouldn't she?

It's a change actually, getting DS to settle to his homework at the same age was akin to pulling teeth. But I was determined he should get into a homework routine, it's good for them even in primary years to develop the habit of prioritising homework and not just cramming it into the corners because they don't want to or they've got a better offer. He's not as naturally bright as his sister either, he really needs to have good study habits to make the top grades. The doing of the homework is as important or more so than the actual homework imho.

It is good to hear that things have improved for the better.

I was never smug or superior about being more academically able than some of my peers and helped out anybody who was struggling whenever I was allowed to.

For the poster who asked how it was possible to do homework in the class this was not too difficult as schools were very low tech when I attended and most teachers will still in the position where they had to write the questions on a blackboard and then give the pupils time to copy this down. I copied as the teacher wrote and most of the time had time to answer them before the end of the lesson. My school apparently could not afford to give out pre printed worksheets which I totally believe as they had to do lots of fundraising so that each pupil could have a textbook for maths rather than sharing one between three.

Robisere

This is a very interesting topic for me, and actually serves to point out the differences between my own schooldays and life at school for today's kids. I am 68 now, but remember my own schooldays with some resentment, I wish that I had been able to "withdraw" from homework. I attended one of the first Technical schools when they were created in the fifties, it was a place given to me and a few others in the area because we had good, but not passing marks in the old "11 Plus" examinations.

I grew up in a pit village and either rode my bike 8 miles to school or took 2 buses. My dad, a miner, was badly injured during my 5 years at this school and I took 3 jobs: morning and evening weekday news deliveries, another on Sundays, and a Saturday job at a butcher shop. I did these from 11 years old, I had to. I was not an academic student: I loved the technical stuff that we did, such as Engineering Workshop, which had 2 parts, Theory and Practical. We designed stuff on a drawing board during the theory lessons, and actually made them in the Practical periods. It was, after all, a Technical school. We were being trained for Engineering work, but this had not got through to those who designed the syllabus. There was French, Art, History and English Literature. The English Language we needed, also Maths, one of Physics, Chemistry and Biology, but those academic subjects took up educational resources and time when we could have been applying ourselves to the Technical stuff that we came there for.

There were almost 850 boys at that school and I would say that at least 800 were resentful of the academic stuff, which was already catered for in the many local grammar schools. I hated it and I would not do any homework connected with those subjects. Many of us became rebellious and badly behaved. I was almost expelled, resulting in getting no GCE's and leaving with no qualifications. Eventually I joined the army, which taught me everything school did not. I became an aircraft technician and I left after 12 years, eventually becoming a workshop foreman and a Motor Engineer.

The fact is that ALL educational authority in Britain, always ignores one thing about children -every single one is an individual. I can remember, at 11 to around 13 years of age, crying with frustration because I could not actually do the homework I was set. However, I produced some really good tools and articles in Engineering, for which I was complemented, before I became disillusioned with the whole process.

Now I have 4 grandchildren, 2 of each flavour, aged from 7 to 19, all are attending different schools or colleges.. The 19 year old is now a network engineer, with a brilliant mind. His 16 year old female cousin is very bright and wants to be something in Hospitality and/or catering. Her 14 year old brother is dyslexic. His reading is great, his writing terrible, but he can carry out complicated maths in his head. This resulted in remarks on his books, to "show his working", so dad took him to school, met the teachers, and asked them to give him several problems. When he solved them mentally they were amazed, they thought he had been using a calculator, to which the lad replied, yes, he had, this one - and tapped his forehead.

The 7 year old is also bright, besides being active in so many sports and after-school stuff. She is also the one who knows how to wrap granddad around her little finger.

Those 4 young people just prove my point - that all children are individuals and need to be looked at educationally as individuals. Homework drove me to desperation, but 3 of them just eat it up, whilst the 4th would rather be outside or on his computer.

bestpud

balletshoes wrote: »

thats an interesting take on withdrawing from homework, with my DD's friends example, she's not smug, she's not special, she's not better, brighter or faster than her classmates. Her mum just doesn't believe in homework.

The person I was talking about certainly wasn't any of those things either.

Some people just can't cope with anyone choosing to go against the status quo and turning on them is a way of managing their discomfort.

valk_scot

koalamummy wrote: »

I was never smug or superior about being more academically able than some of my peers and helped out anybody who was struggling whenever I was allowed to.

It's definately a bit of a character flaw, we're working on it! She does help others, maybe her reasons for doing it are a bit iffy though tbh. On the other hand I don't think she should be spending more than a modest amount of her time at school helping others in class, she's there to learn which is why I'm pleased the school has a policy of stretching the bright kids rather than have them sitting around being bored with nothing to do. I remember spending a lot of my time at primary school washing out paint pots and tidying things when I finished ahead of the other kids, it was more like a punishment than anything else.

Person_one

bestpud wrote: »

Don't tell me - being bullied toughens them up for the real world too, eh?

Thanks for putting words in my mouth there.

I remember from another thread that you think its ok to dump people's clothes on the wet floors at a swimming baths though, so maybe you can answer that one better than me...

Person_one

balletshoes wrote: »

thats an interesting take on withdrawing from homework, with my DD's friends example, she's not smug, she's not special, she's not better, brighter or faster than her classmates. Her mum just doesn't believe in homework.

It was more a take on some of the responses in the thread.

I'm with the others who can't see how all GCSE coursework can possibly be done within school hours, at least not done well. We had no free periods, weren't allowed in the building at breaks and lunchtimes and had nowhere to sit down and work outside, we certainly weren't allowed to do work from one subject in the lesson time of another, and some of the coursework required group collaboration, particular equipment or fieldwork. One of my GCSEs was music, I don't think it would have been appropriate to bring a piano into English to work on my compositions or practice my pieces!

Not to mention the fact that kids seem to do about a million GCSEs today. We did 9 and a half (RE was the half) and that took up the full timetable, but you see schools putting them for 12, 13 or even more these days.

daska

DS1 is doing the equivalent of 13 and has had no coursework outside school.

(But he gave up music a few years ago so no longer has to drag a double bass in and out of school.)

Person_one

daska wrote: »

(But he gave up music a few years ago so no longer has to drag a double bass in and out of school.)

I think I'd have given up too if I had to carry a double bass at 10! :eek:

daska

Person_one wrote: »

I think I'd have given up too if I had to carry a double bass at 10! :eek:

LOL, he started playing double bass at 6, and I must emphasise this was his choice, I was very doubtful. He had a 1/8 size and could have curled up inside. I blame the RCM, it was a girl there who told him they came in small sizes