feel upset for my daughter again

Acc72

If I am reading this correctly, your 17 year old daughter "went out" with a boy of the same age for a year between the age of 14-15.

2 years later I don't think that either her friend or ex-boyfriend are doing anything wrong.

The way that your daughter is acting - still moping around 2 years later following a brief courtship/friendship when she was a child and now risking the relationnship of her best friend - it does not sound as though she needs your sympathy, but more an honest chat and encouragement to move forward in her life.

marisco_2

Your daughter and this lad were very young when they got together. First loves can mean an awful lot and it seems this was the case for her, seeing as she has been pining for him for over 2 years. In time hopefully she will choose to put him behind her and start accepting when other guys show an interest in her and ask her out.

You cant put an old head on young shoulders. This lad now being back in contact and wanting her to help him hitch up with her best mate, could be the catalyst for her seeing that he has moved on and that she should too.

Let her work through this by herself. It will be one of many learning curves she will have. You cant do it for her, just stand back and be ready to offer a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on as and when she needs it. We have all been through it and survived and she will too.

lostinrates

susieanne wrote: »

Thankyou everyone my daughter left high school last year she goes to college full time and still hangs out with same set of girls & boys from high school , most of them go to the same college .

As my daughters says she doesn't even matter if her ex is seeing someone but she cant handle seeing him most days with her best friend it must be tough for her cause she still really loves him .
I thought she would maybe meet a boy at college but she doesn't seem interested in anyone else

I think the bit in bold is part of the 'problem'. If one's life is a small and connected circle it's inevitable something like this will happen.

After a very young relationship in a different stage of life, school rather than college, I think the friend and ex shouldn't feel too compromised in this tight knit group.

Its a horrid life lesson, your daughter has my sympathy. Nevertheless life goes on, for all three of these young people.

Pixiechic

It sounds like she needs encouragement to get over it and move on. I know that he was her first love but we've all been there at some point.

You sound quite involved and really, this is her learning curve and with encouragement she will move on.

She will also deal with her friendships and hopefully she will be sensible and not overreact if her friend does get together with him. It's all up to her, it's her life

Purleygirl

I feel very sorry for your daughter she sounds nice and it's so hateful when you see your lovely sons/daughters so hurt. You have to get her to see that she's lucky to be out of the relationship because who in their right mind would actually want someone who treats them as second best, or uses them for their own selfish reasons.

Let her get it all out, listen to her and give your opinion, which is probably, she is better off without him and the hurt, her friend is behaving shabbily but that your daughter will get through it and find someone who puts her first. I remember being dumped by a boyfriend, for my best friend, it's the double humiliation that stings so much.

But worse for your daughter is that when he re established contact, it gave her hope. Tell her to ignore his messages from now on. She deserves a lot better and it's great that you and she can discuss it.

VfM4meplse

Judi wrote: »

Doesnt stop you showing them a bit of compassion though does it? Luckily none of my kids have never had their hearts broken but i have.

But equally, it's part of life's rich tapestry isn't it, and something everyone has to go through, just like any grieving process? Surely your daughter will see he's not right for her? Why would you want someone who doesn't want you?