Am I being pathetic....?

SingleSue

theoretica wrote: »

I think it might be a case for imaginitive making of really bad tea. Contaminate it with coffee? Wave the teabag vaguely in the direction of the not hot enough water?

I was actually banned from making coffee at one company I worked for....I didn't do it on purpose, just I am really hopeless at making a decent cup of coffee (I was banned from making it at home too - I hate coffee, the smell of it turns my stomach).

Once I moved more into the corporate world with tea and coffee machines, the problem went away as I could always blame the machine for the crap coffee. We did take it in turns though to get the drinks, it was whoever had the spare few minutes to do it, no matter how junior or senior they were.

lippy1923

Sorry if this has already been said, I haven't read every single post.

My advice - Make terrible tea

I'm sure you know who likes what well enough by now, so try adding too much milk, not enough, to many sugars ... or if no one is looking add your own ingredients

They won't ask you for it again in a hurry, or if they do at least you get a giggle.
x

Tsmee

Hmm, is it just me, or did your tea making situation not dramatically improved yesterday?

It's gone from making a cup of tea for anyone/everyone every time you fancy one yourself, plus any time any one clicks their fingers at you (disgraceful!); to you having to make one round in the morning (which you've done since day one), one round in the afernoon (OK, this is extra), and for visitors (which I think is reasonable: you wouldn't ask a visitor to make their own).

Yes, the fact that they said it's because you're a woman is totally wrong and ridiculous, but what they're proposing actually benefits you, so why kick up a stink?

Of course it would be better still if everyone made their own tea, but given that you've been making the tea for so long, I think (I stand to be corrected) that you could be said to have accepted it as part of your contract.

ditzyat50

I had a similar experience some years ago. It wasn't the fact that I was making the brews it was the fact that it was expected of me and I actually felt undervalued and unappreciated. I have also been in places where the least busiest person should brew. Needless to say lots of lazy people kept their head down because they thought it was beneath them to do such a menial task. I found another job but that was then and now jobs are not too easy to find. I can only suggest to make the most of a bad situation. Fill the kettle up to the very top so you are there longer and take your phone with you. Catch up on personal emails and text messages. And start looking for something else.

LannieDuck

He actually said "you should make the tea because you're female"? Wow. I wouldn't last long in that office.

Dovah_diva

ap1986 wrote: »

Hi everyone,

Just after some thoughts on something which was discussed at work today...

I currently work in a small office as an administrator. When I say small, I mean there's six of us working in there.

I took over the role a few years ago and something I inherited was making tea for everyone when I got into work each morning. I don't mind doing this as I make myself one so I may as well make one for everyone. Now, over the last couple of months I've noticed that I'm being 'ordered' to make drinks at various points throughout the day. By ordered, I mean that people are telling (not asking) me to 'put the kettle on', people are putting their cups on my desk and saying 'tea' and clicking their fingers and pointing at the kettle and, although today they've suddenly said its all jokingly (which I haven't felt that it had been jokingly - and I'm pretty laid back and class myself as someone with a good sense of humor ) but was asked how I feel about it. I said I had no problem with making drinks in the morning as I'm normally making one for myself so its not issue but said that I do get a bit miffed when people demand it.

To save going through the whole discussion (because I'm sure you're bored enough already) it was put to me that, because I'm female and an administrator, it should be my job to make the tea at 9am, 3pm and if anyone visited the office (for merchant meetings etc) and then if anyone wanted a drink throughout the day at any other times, they should make it themselves. I took this as a joke and, whilst laughing, said that I'm not prepared to accept that just because I'm female etc.

All of a sudden the conversation got very serious to the point where the director stated it would be written into my job description and contract so therefore would be 'my job'

Now, I understand that this may seem very pathetic to some but its actually bothered me a bit. Surely, this could be classed as unfair and unreasonable if not sexist?

I've never complained or mentioned the tea making before, I was asked how I felt about it and it became one of those 'well, actually, now you come to mention it...' conversations.

Again, I appreciate this may seem like I'm just ranting for the sake of it or just being childish and pathetic so rib me if you must but, if you had been told this, how would you feel? What would you do? Suck it up and take it or make an issue about it?

Honestly? I would not have put up with their tea making demands for so long. Someone would have been told where to get off. Or I would have dumped my mug on their desks and demanded tea.

Stand up for yourself and stop letting them walk all over you. No need to be rude or risk your job, but seriously you need to grow a pair.

ap1986

FBaby wrote: »

I think as an adminitrator, it is perfectly acceptable to make tea for when clients come in

I agree, I have absolutely no issue with being asked or even expected to make a drink for a visitor. I think it's good business practice, polite and professional to offer a drink to anyone coming in for a business meeting!

ap1986

tamiami wrote: »

Bit of laxative might do the trick - just nip to the loos first and leave empty loo rolls!!

There's only one toilet that we all share... I really don't think I could stomach using the loo after five men have been affected by laxatives!

ap1986

Tsmee wrote: »

Hmm, is it just me, or did your tea making situation not dramatically improved yesterday?

It's gone from making a cup of tea for anyone/everyone every time you fancy one yourself, plus any time any one clicks their fingers at you (disgraceful!); to you having to make one round in the morning (which you've done since day one), one round in the afernoon (OK, this is extra), and for visitors (which I think is reasonable: you wouldn't ask a visitor to make their own).

Yes, the fact that they said it's because you're a woman is totally wrong and ridiculous, but what they're proposing actually benefits you, so why kick up a stink?

Of course it would be better still if everyone made their own tea, but given that you've been making the tea for so long, I think (I stand to be corrected) that you could be said to have accepted it as part of your contract.

To be fair, you're probably right, my situation has probably improved... But, that doesn't take away the fact that I'm clearly expected to do it whenever they please because I'm a woman.

The only reason I've kicked up a stink is because they asked how I felt about it and when I told them, I was instantly hit with what was said.

Its improved the way I was told to make tea but it hasnt improved any relationship I every had with my co workers or made me feel alright about doing it.

ap1986

Dovah - you are 100% right, I do need to grow a pair and I can assure you, I will be standing up for myself from now on, making sure I'm as respectful and professional about it as I can be.

I didn't boil the kettle at all today. I think (at the risk of making this sound like an episode of the Sopranos) that sent a silent message to everyone that I'm not their slave and I'm not taking their cr*p any longer... I wasn't even asked to do any extras to my job that are somebody else's responsibility and I would usually do as a favour... I think my blank refusal yesterday to do something they are too bone idle and lazy to do themselves, just because I'm a woman, has been taken in. At least for now!

I'm pretty certain that it will be written into a contract at some point and they expect me to go on tea strike for a few days then back to normal (which isn't going to happen) but, until then, I'm sticking to my guns! If and when it gets written into a contract, I'll question and argue it!

Thank you all for your advice and talking me out of feeling pathetic about moaning about it! Keep the suggestions coming for making horrid tea though, you never know when I might need them!