Dying tidy

[Deleted User]

ok I am being very objective on this, no emotions just practicalities so that the people left behind know exactly what to do and where things are

We made our wills today and dh kept mithering me in the car: what sort of funeral would you want, what hymns, where are the bank accounts etc etc. I have told him over and over in the past about the accounts but I am going to write notes and keep them with the wills and so is he. Like he said, grief is hard enough to deal with never mind having to find money to pay for funerals and bills

Help me to make a to do list please, I will be getting a `dying tidy` pack together

wills
bank account details
savings accounts details
buy funeral plans x 2
burial/cremation/scattering wishes
who is going to have various items

plus a short step by step account of what needs to be done re probate

will that do or I have missed something major?

pollypenny

Sounds good, very detailed.

If you are like us, you'll have to update the savings records regularly, as we are / have to be what Martin calls 'rate tarts', moving money around when bonus or fixed rate ends.

Case of have to do that now. Ironic that when we had a huge mortgage and kids in uni, the bank rate was 15 per cent.

Errata

When my friend's dad died he left her an envelope which had a list of all the 'extra' bits to do and who he would like to know he'd gone -

Window cleaner telephone number
Paper shop address
Gardener phone number
Friends names and phone numbers (oldies address books can be very out of date with no indication of who are friends and who acquaintances, and who worked with them 25 years ago)
Landlord at the XXXXX Arms "Fred, pass the news on please"

She not only found it a great help, but it showed her how much her dad loved her and wanted to make things easy for her, which was extremely comforting.

jfdi

Website passwords? To close FB accounts etc - or the ones that only you know (the gas & electric ones in our case!)

All in a sealed envelope, of course.

And unlock codes for Mob phones & IT things?

List of who to notify, if you have friends he doesn't know too well etc

Rockporkchop

This is a good document, from Age Concern. I am currently working my way through completing it.


http://www.housingcare.org/information/detail-2049-instructions-for-my-nextofkin-and-executors-upon-my-death.aspx

or if that link doesn't work

http://www.housingcare.org/downloads/kbase/2049.pdf

Fire_Fox

Maybe download KeePass and put a ton of stuff related to forum/ e-mail/ website passwords/ online banking/ utility logins? You protect with a password and can share with another networked computer, obviously can be constantly updated by either party.

chesky

I've got my little black book which I update regularly, whenever I open a new savings account, or shift stuff around. All my finances are there, with an annual update so my kids can see at a glance which accounts are still running and which have been cancelled. Other useful info is there like the contact details for my IFA and solicitor etc.

The kids know about my little black book - they'll be delving into it as soon as I turn up my toes.

Errata

Age UK has a free lifebook with sections for financial, legal & etc
http://www.ageuk.org.uk/home-and-care/home-safety-and-security/lifebook/

luxor4t

Put names, dates, details onto family photos - MiL has a drawer full of pictures but nobody knows who the people are and she is too fuzzy to remember now.

Errata

luxor4t wrote: »

Put names, dates, details onto family photos - MiL has a drawer full of pictures but nobody knows who the people are and she is too fuzzy to remember now.

That's an excellent idea. I'm the only one left in the family who can name the greats and great greats in photos. I've spent hours doing my grans, mums and my collection.
Not sure what will happen when everything's digital electronic and people have take thousands during their lifetimes :eek::eek:

Eliza_2

When my widowed mum went along to organise a funeral plan with the local undertakers they gave her a list like this so she's been working her way through it - she already had a little book with the basics but they've been v helpful and went through things for her to do now and things for us to do afterwards. One of the things he said was to remember to register the death. In all seriousness she said' Yes , I must remember to do that!' Their response was, with all due respect Mrs Smith, it's probably best to let someone else do it. :rotfl: It took her a while for the penny to drop, she so wants to relieve her family of any hassle!

The other thing she's been doing is clearing her house of unnecessary stuff, as she says, a good excuse for a de-clutter. Luckily she's not a hoarder, having moved umpteen times in her life.

She's 87 this year, in perfect health and likely to outlive all 4 children at this rate!!

Liz